


A Promise Sealed in Flame

by Heatheness



Series: Sira: Lady of the Brand [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Additional Character, Alternate Canon, Attempted Forced Pregnancy, Blood, Branding (Only Once Tho), Canon Divergence, Conception-Cancelling substances, Dubious Consent, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mostly Still Canon Though, Obsession, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pain, Plan-B Type Substances, Plot Accommodation for Original Character, Porn With Plot, Possessiveness, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence, Shameless Smut, This will get kind of dark, Underage - Freeform, Violence, Will add tags and relationships as they become relevant, but also happy?, death of a major character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heatheness/pseuds/Heatheness
Summary: You were born and raised in the pleasure house of the Fire Nation palace. Your mother was a favorite concubine who died bringing you into this world. This life is the only life you have ever known, and you were on the path to making it the best it could be. But when winds of change make you flee the palace, branded with the symbol of a royal mistress and a hefty price on your head, how do you expect to escape the clutches of your own nation?Joining the Avatar, that’s how.The Fire Lord wants you, the Prince is after you, and you have a mark of ownership for all to see.How hard could it be?
Relationships: Ozai (Avatar)/ Original Female Character, Ozai (Avatar)/ Reader, Ozai (Avatar)/You, Zhao (Avatar)/Original Female Character, Zhao (Avatar)/Reader, Zhao (Avatar)/You, Zuko/Original Female Character, Zuko/Reader, Zuko/You
Series: Sira: Lady of the Brand [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953436
Comments: 223
Kudos: 382





	1. Prologue: An Unlikely Addition

**Author's Note:**

> You (Sira) joins the party during the episode “The Water Bending Scroll” in Book one of Avatar the Last Air Bender. This will mostly stay canon-ish. You have a history with Zuko and the Fire Lord that you are trying to escape and you run into the Avatar. And oh the shenanigans ensue from there.

Flying was _strange._ You craved to look over the edge of the flying beast, but seeing as you were a stowaway, hiding under a blanket in an already small saddle, you figured total and complete stillness was the best way to go right now. Even if it was _incredibly_ stuffy in here. 

“That was _entirely_ too close!” You heard an older boy’s voice. 

“Well how was I supposed to know the pirates would come after us like that!?” The water bender shouted. 

“Oh, I don’t know, because you _stole_ something from them!” The boy’s voice rang out again. “Pirate’s tend to like to _do_ the stealing, not the other way around!” 

“Guys...guys… we are safe, and flying away. Let’s just calm down and-“

“Calm down! Don’t tell me to calm down! Katara’s stupid scroll almost got us killed!” 

“Uughhhh!” The water bender yelled. “I really wouldn’t expect you to understand Sokka! You don’t have the pressure of having to master bending like Aang and I do!” 

“Oh yeah, so that’s enough to put all of us at risk of _DEATH?”_

“Stop you guys!” The Avatar yelled. 

“Fine, fine!” The boy yelled, before plopping down right beside where you were hiding. 

“Fine!” The water bender...Katara? Agreed, plopping down on the other side of the saddle. 

The group quieted down to silence after that. You couldn’t tell for how long. The blanket was warm, even if it was stuffy, and you were exhausted from the day. 

_No…_ you thought to yourself. _Don’t do it. This is the worst time to fall asleep…._

…

  
  


“Who are you, and what do you want!” You woke suddenly to a jabbing in your side and the stern voice of the older boy. “Why are you on our bison!” 

The harsh bright light of the sun mixed with the cold sensation of having the blanket ripped off you, all with yelling and jabbing disoriented you for a moment. 

“I...I…” The words stumbled out as you rubbed your eyes and tried to get a grip on your surroundings. 

_Fuck! I told you not to fall asleep!_ Your mind yelled. 

“Those are pirate’s clothes…” the girl said. “She must be with the pirates we just escaped from!” 

“Then we should throw her off right now!” You felt a firm grip around your arm as you were forced to your feet by the water tribe boy. 

“Uh, no! Don’t throw her off!” The Avatar yelled, intervening. 

“Why not!? She is a pirate stowaway, clearly trying to hunt us down for the captain or for Zuko!” 

“Think, Sokka, if she were trying to attack us why hasn’t she done it already? Why would she leave her people and put herself in a situation where she is clearly outnumbered and at a disadvantage? We should at least hear what she has to say before just ending her _life,_ oh, yeah, monk here by the way, life is _sacred_ remember!” 

“Ughhh..” The boy lamented, loosening his grip on your arm. “Fine. So?” His gaze turned to you. “Who are you and what do you want?” 

“I’m Sira…” You managed to get out. “I was trying to escape the pirates…” 

_Only half somewhat-sorta kinda partly true._

“What?” The girl asked, sympathy looming in her tone. 

“I’ve been with them for months...looking for a way to get away. When we went after you for that scroll… I saw that you had an air bison… no better way to get away than that..”

“Sokka let her go!” The girl yelled. 

“Why do you believe everything you hear Katara! Just because she claims that doesn’t mean it’s true!” 

“Well she isn’t going anywhere is she?” Katara retorted. “There’s no need to be forceful.” 

“I was… a slave of the fire nation..” 

“The Fire Nation!” Sokka yelled, his grip on your arm tightening again. 

“Ouch?” You glared at him. “I’m really _not_ going anywhere, and I would be an _idiot_ to attack you like this. Even if I could take you all, which I can’t, I don’t know how to drive this thing.” 

“She’s got a point Sokka…” The Avatar agreed. “Just let her go and come over here.”

“Fine, but I’m keeping my boomerang handy and don’t come crying to me if she tosses you off the side.” 

“We’ll take our chances.” The girl stated, turning back to you. 

“Sira, was it? Please, go on.” 

“Yes, I am from the fire nation. I was born into something...something like slavery…” You trailed off. These were a bunch of _kids..._ better not give them the gory details right now. “When I discovered I could fire bend-“

“OH GREAT.” Sokka yelled. “A FIREBENDER TOO. WHY DON’T WE JUST INVITE ZUKO AND OZAI UP HERE AND HAVE A PARTY.” 

“Stoppit Sokka!” Katara smacked him in the back of the head. “I swear you only ever hear the words you want to hear!” She turned to look at you. “I’m sorry for my brother, he has trust issues and is _common sense challenged._ Please continue.” 

“I’m the only one here _with_ common sense!”

“Quiet, Sokka.” The Avatar spoke up. 

“Right...anyways..” You continued. “When I discovered I could firebend… I kept it a secret… tried to practice on my own. They would draft me into the military if they knew… and that was the one thing I thought was worse than what I was already doing. After everyone I cared about there was...gone…” Your voice shuddered a moment. “I just looked for a way out. The pirates were willing to take me, for a price, and I have been with them for a few months, trying to find a new way out. I saw you guys, took a shot, here I am. Throw me off, or don’t, either way is better than where I was.” 

That last bit was a tad dramatic, you did _not_ want them to throw you off. Not at all. 

“See, Sokka? She is a victim just like us!” 

“How do you _know_ though? She is a fire nation fire bender, she could be a spy!” 

You spun around, moving your dark hair away from your neck and shoulders, revealing a brand at the tip of your spine. It was a unique fire nation symbol, one they probably didn’t recognize, but a brand usually wasn’t a sign of anything particularly honorable. You hoped this would convince them. It’s not something you willfully showed often. 

“See this?” You pointed at the brand at the base of your neck. “This is the mark of slavery.”

“Wow….you poor thing…” Katara lamented, moving in to look at it closer. 

“Wait, I’ve seen that symbol before…” The Avatar spoke again. “I believe she is telling the truth..” 

“What?” Sokka inquired, his tone slightly less aggressive. 

“I remember that symbol, one of our elder female monks had it back at the air temple. I don’t know what it means exactly, but I do know she escaped the fire nation too, and ran to the air temple for sanctuary. She was a monk ever since. The fire nation tried to come get her back multiple times, but Monk Giatzo said that once she had taken her vows, she was no longer of the Fire Nation, but of the Air Nation, and didn’t belong to them anymore. I think this girl is telling the truth, and if Monk Giatzo gave one of her kind sanctuary, then so will I.” 

“Thank you, Avatar.” You said, sincerely, before covering your brand with your hair and turning back around. 

“Thank you for sharing Sira, I know it’s probably not easy to talk about.” Katara smiled. “So, Sokka, are you satisfied?” 

“No.” He answered. “But it’ll do for now. Still, I have my eye on you.” He said, suspiciously. “We can drop her off at the next stop.” 

“Sokka, she is a runaway, and probably a traitor… uh...would you be considered a traitor?” She asked you. 

“Oh yeah.” You answered honestly. “There’s probably a price on my head closer to the fire nation capitol.” 

“See, Sokka! We can’t just leave her around Fire Nation colonies, she isn’t safe. She should stay with us until we find a safe place for her. If… if you want to come with us that is?” 

“That was the plan!” You smiled. 

“Oh, no. No. No. We have a bad enough target on our backs with Aang, we do not need another mouth to feed and even _more_ reason for the Fire Nation to come after us than we already have.” 

“I...I could teach the Avatar some fire moves!” You offered. “I know the fire nation, I can offer insight and… I’d pull my weight around here, I swear. I want the Avatar to succeed in defeating the Fire Lord as much as you guys do…” 

“It would be pretty valuable to have someone with knowledge of the fire nation…”

“And the royal palace even!” You added. 

“You lived in the royal palace?” 

“Yes, that’s where they kept us.” 

“Clearly this was meant to be.” Katara smiled at you. “How old are you?” 

“Eighteen.” 

“All that and just barely older than us..” She seemed sad for you. 

“Well, welcome to the team Sira!” The Avatar smiled. “I am Aang, this is Katara and Sokka. They are from the Southern Water Tribe.” 

“Cool.” You answered. “I have never met water benders before.” 

“Water bend _er._ “ Katara corrected. “Sokka is a warrior of our tribe but not a bender.” 

“Hmph,” was all Sokka responded. “I would just like to say for the record that I think this is a terrible idea.” 

“Noted, Sokka.” Katara rolled her eyes. 

_Honestly,_ you mused to yourself. _This turned out better than I thought._

_Guess it’s a good thing I got on this bison._


	2. Flashback: The Prince’s Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the eve of your sixteenth birthday, and you are being offered to the Prince as one of the possibilities for his first mistress. Who will he choose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks will litter this work, you have been warned! :)

“Mona, what is going on?” You asked the madam of the pleasure house. She had become like a grandmother to you, raising you since your mother died bringing you into this world. 

“Hush, child.” She said, brushing your hair and glistening you with fine perfumes. “Today is a big day for the teen girls of the house. That includes you.” 

“What?” You asked, frustrated, as she pulled at your hair to style it while some of the older palace concubines washed you in the bath. 

“The young Prince is choosing one of you today, to be his first concubine when he turns sixteen. It’s a pretty honorable position to be honest. First concubines rarely stay in the pleasure house where they service all officers and honored guests of the fire nation, but usually stay bound to their chosen. It’s a more comfortable life, you should hope to be chosen Sira.” 

“But I have already been working in the pleasure house, all of us have..” You recalled being trained to please men, and being called in to service officers with everything from your mouth to your hands, though you suppose you still haven’t had real _sex_ yet. 

“Training is different, your flower is still in tact and that is all they care about Sira.” She fussed with your hair some more. “You know that you were born into this life, and therefore you are bound to this life, but being chosen by a royal to be their first concubine, or mistress concubine, is the most comfortable life one of us can have.”

“Or becoming Madam!” You smiled at Mona. 

“Haha, yes, or becoming Madam, but that only happens when you are too old to continue to work. I would spare you what my life was like before this, child.” She smiled warmly. “Now, up, out of the bath, it’s time for your silks.” 

You obeyed, getting up and dealing with the chilled air after a nice warm bath. You looked in the mirror. Your hair was done up in a fancy way, and your skin smelled nice from the perfumes. You felt confidence rise up inside you. 

_I am the best one here._ You mused. The generals, officers, and guests often requested you specifically for your _training,_ and many of them put in hefty offers of gold to get to be the first one to conquer you when you came of age, which was tomorrow. 

“I’m turning sixteen tomorrow.” You stated absent-mindedly. “So, what happens if I don’t get chosen today?” 

“Well, if you are chosen by the Prince today, you will be saved for him on his sixteenth. So you would have two and a half luxurious years of being treated like a princess without having to work like the other girls. If you aren’t chosen, your maiden flower will be sold to the highest bidder, and you will begin the life of a pleasure house girl. You could still be chosen as a favorite by a benefactor or royal in the future, favorite mistresses also live very comfortable lives.”

“Do we know who the highest bidder is?”

“I believe it’s Commander Zhao.” She said, a strange tone in her voice. 

“Do the other girls like him?” 

“He doesn’t often see the other girls, he has had his eye on you for a very long time.” 

“I imagine he will be upset if I get chosen then.”

“Undoubtedly. It’s time, let’s go.” 

You walked out into the main foyer of the pleasure house. It was luxurious to be sure. Expensive couches, tables, art tapestries, golden plates and cups and beautiful women strewn about the place. The pleasure house itself was a work of art. Despite the nature of your life, you thought yourself lucky to live here. You had your own room with the best bed and decorations money could buy. Many girls outside the palace had it worse. And unlike many of the other girls here at the pleasure house, you kind of… _liked_ your work. You kept that a secret mostly, but it made you feel powerful. It made you feel good. You guarded that knowledge like you guarded your fire bending though. It wasn’t usual for a girl to enjoy her work here, and it would paint you in a bad light with the others. 

You stood in the middle of the room with the five or so other girls around your age. You were the oldest. The others looked quivering and nervous. You only stood still, trying to be graceful and poised. 

The other women of the house were around the room, waiting to see the results, but all the male patrons had been ushered out. This was a private viewing, only for the Fire Lord and the Prince. 

The heavy doors swung open, and in they walked. The Fire Lord was always somewhat stern and terrifying to you. He rarely came here himself, if ever. He had his favorites and when he desired them they would be summoned to his personal chamber. The pleasure house was meant for those...less esteemed than him. 

The Prince accompanied him. He looked… _awkward._ And nervous. You supposed that was normal. He was only, what? Around 13? And he was never exactly what you would call a typical young man. You saw him a few times, had a few conversations with him here and there, he didn’t seem like his father. Much more like his mother, to be honest. He hasn’t been the same since she disappeared. 

“Your royal Majesty and Highness..” Mona curtsied deeply. “You honor my house with your presence my lords.” 

“Lady Mona.” The Fire Lord… greeted? “Are these all of them?” 

“Yes my lord,” she kept curtsied. _How did she do that?_ “These are the best, and the ones around the appropriate age for the young Prince Zuko.” 

“Choose wisely Zuko.” The Fire Lord said with a calm, low tone. “Your first mistress often becomes a trusted confidant, perhaps even an advisor. They can twist and bend the will of weaker men if you let them. Choose one that will serve you, but will not control you.” 

“Yes...father..” Zuko answered hesitantly, walking up to the line of girls. He glanced at each one. All had their heads down, not looking him in the eye. Some were visibly shaking in the presence of the Fire Lord. You were not. 

When Zuko’s eyes glanced to yours, you held his gaze. You even dared a smile. You knew you were the best choice. He had to know it too. You weren’t one of these quivering daisies, you were a proud, dignified rose. 

He kept your gaze for a moment, looking almost in awe at you. He briefly glanced down at the remaining two girls, and then his eyes snapped straight back to you. 

“Her.” Was all he said. 

“That is Sira my lord.” Mona said proudly. “She was raised her whole life in this house, she is one of our finest.” 

“You are certain, Zuko?” The Fire Lord asked, you couldn’t quite place what his tone was conveying. 

“Yes, her.” He repeated. 

“Interesting choice.” Ozai echoed. “It is done then.” With that, he placed his hand on Zuko’s shoulder and led him out of the house. Zuko looked back at you one last time before the heavy door closed behind him. 

The other girls sighed in relief, you smiled in pride. 

_I will have that boy wrapped around my finger for the rest of his life._ You thought to yourself. You charmed and dazzled all of your patrons, they all came back to you, most offered to run away with you already and you hadn’t even given them your whole body yet. You would make Zuko fall for you, and be treated like a queen...possibly even _be_ queen one day. 

Mona smiled at you as she walked up and embraced you tightly. “Good, Sira, you have a bright future.” 

The rest of the day went on like a dream. You were treated differently now that you were a _royal mistress._ You were given a better room, you were given better food, you got a privileged seat in the Foyer that meant no other patron could approach you. You got to watch as man after man lamented that you were no longer on offer. You got to see the anger in Zhao’s face when he came to claim you and was refused. You were certain this was the best day of your life so far, and it would only get better from here. 

Late into the night when you were finally ready to retire you returned to your new room. You fell into the bed with a happy sigh. You got to live like this for two and a half _years_ before you were expected to do anything. Not that you wanted to wait that long, you craved to know what _it_ really felt like. Still, none of the other girls had it this good. You wondered if your mother would be happy for you. 

Your eyes started to flutter shut and allow you to drift off to sleep when you heard a faint knock at the door. 

“Yes?” You called out sleepily. 

“It’s Mona.” 

“Come in!” You called.

Mona entered your room. Her face was one of worry, not happiness.

“What is wrong?” You asked. “What could there possibly be to be worried about? I am a _royal mistress_ now!” You smiled. 

“You….” She sighed heavily and her eyes turned away from yours. “You have been summoned to the Fire Lord’s chambers Sira.” 

“What?” You asked in shock. “But..he can’t! I belong to the Prince!”

“He is the Fire Lord, he can do as he pleases. You must go.”

“But...but...?” Worry and dread started coming over you, as a soldier walked in. He gripped your arm tightly, and began escorting you away from your bed. 

Your head frantically whipped around to Mona again. 

“Just do as he asks, girl.” She advised. “You will be okay as long as you obey. Obey and come back to me.”

“What does he want?” You shouted back as the guard dragged you along the hallways. 

“What do you think he wants?” The guard growled harshly. “He wants you, whore.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, underage, older man/younger woman, dubious consent coming up next, please head tags and warnings! <3


	3. Flashback: Who Do You Belong To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira is summoned to the Fire Lord and given a task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head the warnings and tags! Possible trigger warnings for under age, non-consent, etc!

“He wants you, whore.” The words from the grizzled guard stung. Dread and fear welled up inside you. Suddenly all the bravery and confidence you felt all day began to wash away. 

_ What is this? Is this a trick?  _ You thought frantically. But as you were ‘escorted’ down hallway after hallway, to places in the palace even you have never been before in your sixteen years, it began to sink in that this was no trick. 

“What does he want!?” You repeated in vain. “I am the Prince’s first mistress, I am not to be touched!” 

“You are a whore, girl, your entire purpose is to be touched.” A sickening smirk crossed the guard’s face. 

“But...but only by the Prince!” 

“Who is higher than the Prince, girl?” He taunted you. 

“No...No!” Your whines fell on deaf ears. 

“Shut your mouth you little slut!” The guard grew fiercer. You felt his cold metal gauntlet strike your face as you fell to the ground. “Obey! That is all you are good for!” He shouted, yanking you back up from the floor. 

You tried to contain yourself. Clearly this man would show you no mercy. You tried not to cry from the pain of your strike. You didn’t know what you were going to say or do when you saw the Fire Lord, but you did not want to be seen crying. You walked the rest of the way in fearful silence. 

“That’s more like it, slut.” The guard purred at your submission. His kind was the kind you liked least. You had seen many types of men over the years of you practicing in the pleasure house, and his kind were the worst. The darkest. The sickest. You were glad he wasn’t of a high enough rank to use the services of the house, and prayed to whatever spirits that be that he never achieved such a rank. 

Soon, you came across large, heavy, black metal doors. They were the biggest doors you had ever seen, save for the ones at the entrance of the palace proper. They had ornate carvings and just projected power and intimidation. It worked. You were intimidated. 

The guard lifted a heavy cast iron knocker and pounded it once. After a moment, one of the heavy doors slowly swung open. 

_ So slowly… _

An older man servant poked his head through. 

“What business have you?” His calm voice asked the guard. 

“The girl the Fire Lord summoned.” 

“Hmph.” The man surveyed you with his eyes. He lingered on every inch of you, as if he was analyzing you. In all the times you have been naked in front of men, you never felt more violated than you did right now, fully clothed under the gaze of this man. 

“She is not one of his Majesty’s usual mistresses.” Was all he said. 

“I was told she was summoned nonetheless. Look, if you don’t want her…” His grip on your arm grew tighter. “I’ll take her back.” The sickening smirk returned. His dark eyes met yours. “We will be sure to take the  _ long way back. _ ”

“That won’t be necessary.” The beady-eyed manservant responded. You felt a slight sense of relief wash over you for the first time since you were stolen from your room, but it was soon replaced with dread again. You may be escaping this guard, for now, but you were headed straight for Fire Lord Ozai, who was probably worse. 

_ What was it Mona used to say? Out of the frying pan...into the fire….  _ You tried to control your fear. 

“Let her in.” 

“Very well.” The guard responded, clearly dissatisfied with this outcome. “Here.” He handed you over to the servant. 

“Come with me.” He commanded, leading you through the large doors. 

Through them was an entire living area. Like a palace within a palace. He quietly led you through the halls of the Lord’s inner chambers. At least this one wasn’t dragging you along by the elbow. You felt slightly more dignified. 

_ Slightly.  _

You came to a smaller, wooden, yet still impressively carved door. The manservant knocked once. 

“What is it?” A stern voice rang from the other side. 

“A girl from Lady Mona’s establishment has been delivered to you, yet I don’t recognize her as one of your official mistresses. If this has been a mistake, I can have her escorted ba-“

“I allow it.” The Fire Lord responded. 

“Oh, very well your majesty!” The servant opened the door for you and ushered you in, alone. 

You were greeted with the sight of a lavish bedroom. There were desks, and shelves, books and scrolls neatly adorned every surface. There was an impossibly large four poster bed in the center of the rounded room. A few mirrors aligned the walls, tapestries and golden statues. It was the most royal room you had ever seen, though you supposed that made sense. 

He was standing at a desk, facing away from you. His long hair draped over his back, which was bare. He was only wearing lower robes. A sickening knot began to form in your deepest core at the sight of him half clothed. You prayed this wasn’t what you thought it was. 

He seemed to be intently reading something on his desk. He was slightly bent over it, silent, studying the scrolls. 

After a moment the silence was too much to bare. You figured you should say something. 

“Your Majesty, Fire Lord it….” Your voice began to falter, but you brought it back under control, swallowing hard. “It is an honor to be summoned to your presence.” He was facing away from you, but you curtsied anyway. 

“Oh how very well rehearsed.” The man responded. His tone was authoritative and drenched with the narcissism befitting the stories you heard of him. “What an obedient little puppet. Even if she speaks before spoken to.” 

That hot dread washed over you anew. You didn’t quite know how to repond, so you stayed silent. He didn’t move from his position of reading scrolls. 

“You are Sira, are you not?” 

“Yes your royal highness.” You affirmed. 

“Your mother was a foreigner. She died in childbirth with you.” It was more of a statement rather than a question. 

“Yes your royal highness.” You affirmed again. 

“How fitting.” His voice was totally void of sympathy or even humanity. He finally turned to look at you. He leaned back against the desk, folding his arms in front of him. His amber eyes stared you down, he looked directly into yours. His face was angular and dominating. He would almost be handsome if he wasn’t a living nightmare to you right now. 

He took a deep breath, unfolded his arms, and walked over to you slowly. His frame was thick and powerful. Every muscle existed to intimidate and control. He stood before you. 

“Knees. Now.” 

Everything in you wanted to freeze, but you managed to obey. You looked down as you slowly and gracefully slid to the floor. You kneeled down, using the soft silks of your dress to cushion your skin from the unforgiving floor. You stared at the patterns painted on the ground as if they could save you. You felt a firm hand reach down and grip your chin, forcefully yanking your head up to face him. He seemed even more large from this angle. His eyes locking onto you. 

He used his free hand to unbind his lower robes, letting them fall to the ground. He roughly kicked them back, causing them to slide across the floor. Even though your eyes were still connected to his, you sensed his manhood lingering in front of you. This was  _ exactly  _ what you hoped it wasn’t. 

His grip on your chin brought your face back down, level to his waist. He was soft right now, but even soft he was… impressive. You knew already he was the thickest man you had ever seen in this way without even touching him. 

“Show me what you are worth, girl.” 

With his fingers still grasping your chin, you leaned forward. Your drew your nails up his thighs, and brought your hands up to rest on his lower abs. Everything about him radiated pure strength. He was a monster, but you could tell why he was Fire Lord. He clearly could hold his own amongst his peers. 

Your lips tentatively met his skin. He was clean, and even smelled pleasant, like cinnamon, as if he had just cleaned. It was a refreshing change from the men you usually saw, fresh off the heat and sweat of the days work. 

You drew your tongue along the shaft slowly, locking eyes with him again. He only stared at you coldly. His breath held steady, and it was if he didn’t blink. You continued your slow licks along him for a few moments before sliding his soft cock into you mouth, massaging him with your lips and tongue. Even without an erection, you were far from fitting all of him into your mouth at once. You brought one of your hands down to caress the base, while you continued your slow, hot manipulation of his tip and shaft. 

He breathed deeply, and broke his gaze as his head leaned back slightly. His body was beginning to react to you, and you felt his cock begin to harden between your lips. Your confidence rose slightly, and you ever so slowly began to quicken your pace. It was almost the most sensual training you had ever done, and despite your fear, your body was reacting in kind. 

“The entertainment is supposed to take great care to make sure things like  _ you  _ never happen.” His voice broke the silence as you continued to please him. “It’s an unnecessary complication and expense. If the matter were at all even remotely worth my attention, I would have had you killed with your worthless mother.” 

His harsh words cut you deep, and fear began to take hold even stronger than it had. Your shock and disgust at what he said caused you to break your pace. His grip renewed on your chin, yanking you off of him in a fluid motion, locking eyes with you again. 

“Who was the imbecile responsible for breeding a palace whore, girl? Who sired you?” 

“I…” the question caught you off guard. “I know not your royal majesty.” 

“Hmph. As useless as I had expected. You were raised within my walls then, for your whole existence?” His grip stayed hard on your delicate face, to the point of causing pain. 

“Yes, your highness.” 

“Eating my food. Being clothed by my tailors. Living in my palace. Whoever it was that fucked your whore mother, girl, I was the one that paid for their mistake. I granted your upkeep every day of your life. You should be grateful to your Fire Lord.” 

“I am your highness! Ever so grate-“ You were cut off by the sensation of his now fully erect cock being shoved forcefully back between your lips. For a moment you couldn’t breathe with the intrusion, even just barely pass the tip he filled your whole mouth. He pushed himself in deep, moving his hand from your chin to your throat, as if to force what little breath you had left in you to leave.

“Empty words meant to placate me.” He hissed at you as he slowly slid back out, allowing you to breathe for a moment before shoving it back in. “Just as I suspected, you know what you think you are meant to say. You will say whatever it is you think a man wants to hear.” He seemed… annoyed? Disgusted? You could not tell. His tone was dark as he continued to force himself into and out of you. 

“If you have been here the longest, you have received the most training, you have received the most attention, you have received the most advantage amongst your peers. You probably think you are something  _ special _ .” He lingered on that word, pushing himself deeper than he had before. You felt his tip caress the very back of your throat and slowly creep even further. You could not breathe at all, you had never been treated like this before. Your hands flew up to push him away, but that only brought his other hand down to pin you against the post of the bed and hold you stil. You tried to scream, but you could barely get any sound out. He was consuming you. 

While you suffered, he continued… “You probably have a misplaced sense of confidence, and a misguided view of your place.” With that he evicted himself from your throat entirely. You gasped for air. Your hands flew to your own throat and you coughed and gagged on the leftover sensation of him taking over your mouth. Your eyes locked onto his throbbing, rock hard erection for a moment as you fought to regain your breath. 

“The fools that seek the attentions of lesser women most likely shower you daily with foolish praise.” His tone was growing more agitated. “ You’ve probably learned how to manipulate them, how to bend them to your will, how to lull them into complacency. You’ve probably learned to have at least a modicum of intelligence and a sense of how to survive around these men. These weak-willed piss poor excuses for Fire Nation elites. You must really think yourself such a  _ clever _ little whore.”

His eyes studied you for your reaction. Your gaze remained away from him. 

“I am nothing but your humble servant, Fire Lord.” You managed to cough out. 

The moment the words left your mouth you felt his hand grip you by the hair and yank you to your feet. Pain shot through your neck as you screamed out. The pain was met with a soft sensation as he threw you onto the bed. He grabbed your ankle and pulled you close to the edge, causing your silk dress to slide up your body, revealing you to him. He held you still, spreading your legs apart before his gaze. 

“Lies!” He angrily retorted as he pinned you down. “You don’t believe the poisonous words you let dance out of your mouth, girl. I am not one of your lonely, doting, moronic admirals. I am your Fire Lord and you will not lie to me.”

“My Lord I….” You responded. Clearly the meek innocent words you were saying weren’t what he wanted to hear. Spitting out regurgitated fire nation loyalty had only gotten you worse and worse off thus far. You chanced a different approach. “I… I don’t understand why you would trouble yourself even thinking about us… so far below your station...what does it matter what I think or say in comparison to you? I do not matter compared to you. It is the whispers of an ant compared to the roar of a lion.” 

“How right you are.” He growled, but a smirk played on the corner of his lips. He seemed to like your candidness better than blank responses of obedience. You were thoroughly  _ confused.  _

One of his hands held you still, pinning your thigh to the bed, as the other snaked its way down your leg all the way until his thumb was over your clit. He began to rub you slowly. You were still wet from before, when you were pleased with yourself for getting him hard with your tongue. He seemed to smirk further at your arousal as he massaged your clit methodically. It began to build pleasure in your core and your body began to relax under his touch. As much as you hated it, no other man had ever focused on  _ you  _ as much before. Moans began to escape you as he rubbed circles around your most sensitive place. 

“Why would I care about the palace whores and what they believe themselves to be?” His voice was low and calm again as he watched your body react to his touch. This seemed to please him. “Why should I know what they think and say and do? Why should I even trouble myself with such a trivial thing? It is because I am surrounded by weak-willed fools that can’t be trusted with even the simplest of commands to keep their greedy, lie spewing mouths shut.” 

“I don’t understand your majesty…” You answered honestly, as your eyes closed and your head rolled back a the growing orgasm he was building under his thumb. 

“Oh you don’t?” A taunting tone reflected in his voice as he quickened his pace. “Most men are weak. They succumb to emotions, they succumb to base drives and impulses. They grow thoughtless with attachment. They spill secrets, information, thoughts, lies, truths, conspiracy. The palace whores probably hear more Fire Nation secrets than anyone else, they probably get fed information on a nightly basis that, if given to the wrong person, could weaken our empire. That is why every single slut in this palace was hand chosen by me or my servants at a young age and groomed to have qualities and traits favorable for a woman that can hear Fire Nation secrets every time they spread their legs and not be self-thinking enough to even consider that the information they have is precious. Do you know what those traits are? Do you know what I look for in the girls that get sent to the pleasure house? Do you know what keeps the secrets of this empire safe?” You were barely registering the words he was saying as he continued his rhythmic assault on your clit. You were getting closer and closer to the best orgasm of your life, but he kept slowing down to make it tease longer. 

“No...” You answered in a hushed moan as your body arched against his touch. “What do you look for in your sluts, my lord?” You made eye contact with that, holding his eyes to yours as you erotically slid your body against his fingers. You licked and bit your lips as your hands found their way to your breasts, massaging them in a way you had seen men like before. 

A smirk played at his lips again, and his erection grew harder at the sight of your teasing. “Clever girl.” He purred. “But I look for stupidity. Pure, empty-headed, blindly loyal, uneducated, unintelligent, unquestioning, unthinking stupidity. Dumb whores don’t know what they have, dumb whores don’t think of schemes like selling secrets to our enemies, dumb whores simply finish a man and move on to the next, thankful for their next meal.” His pace on your clit quickened, causing an intense pleasure to build up in you again. “Do you know what the flaw in this system is, girl?” 

“Girls like me..” You answered, knowing the truth. He rewarded you with keeping his quickened pace, allowing your orgasm to rip through your body. Your legs quivered against him and you let out a pleasure-filled scream that echoed in the room. “Yessssss…” Your voice didn’t even sound like your own. Your body acted on its own as he continued to flick at your clit, making your sensitive form quake with every touch. 

“Precisely. You. You were not chosen. You are a flaw, a liability. I didn’t think much of it, dumb whores breed more dumb whores I thought. Until I saw you today. The rest of the lambs were rightfully afraid, they wouldn’t meet my gaze or even the eyes of my weak son. Perfect little empty-minded little puppets each and every one, except you. You saw my son as a weakness to exploit. Where the other girls saw him as the almighty and powerful Prince and Heir to the Fire Nation, you saw him for what he really is; a boy that you could easily manipulate. I tell him to choose a mistress that will not control him, and he chooses the most venomous of them all. I shouldn’t have expected any better of him. Your confidence betrayed you today. It betrayed who you really are. You should have learned to act better, girl. A whore with a mind of her own is as potentially dangerous as a master spy if she decided it was worth her while to peddle in the information of her prey, a situation made even more dire if that prey is the heir to my empire.” 

In the wake of your pleasure you found clarity in what he was saying. You were dangerous if kept unchecked, and the more you thought about it the more you knew it was true. None of the other girls could read and write except for Mona, who taught you, but always told you to keep it a secret, though you didn’t know why. 

“But...but I would never…” Fear began to take over again as his eyes fell onto you once more. 

“I’ll be sure of that, Sira.” He said, gripping your waste and pulling you to the edge of the bed. His massive, throbbing erection sliding up and down against your virgin entrance, now made incredibly welcoming after your orgasm. 

“No….wait...wait!” You pleaded. “But I...I belong to the Prince!” 

“Nothing belongs to the Prince that does not first belong to me. You will know your place. You will know who owns you, girl. You will know not to betray me. I rule you, I rule your life, your breath, your body, your pleasure, your pain. I can freely give and take away all of these that you possess. You are mine. And I am going to fuck you.” 

“No, no, wait, please my Lord I am not read-“ Your whines were broken by the sensation of him forcing himself into you. He ripped through your body, seemingly tearing you in half. Hot pain shot through your core as all your muscled tensed against him. 

“Oh...fuck…” He let out in hushed erotic bliss as he felt your freshly broken body cling tightly to him. “So young…” He drew in a sharp breath as he looked at you. 

Tears began to fall from the corners of your eyes as your fingers desperately grabbed at the sheets for something to hold on to. 

A monstrous smile played at his lips as he eased his way out a bit, only to slam back in. He held your thighs tightly as he thrusted in and out of you, causing wave after wave of pain to course through your veins. The primal sounds he was making echoed through the bedchamber, and you felt the heat of his body began to radiate off his skin. Fire benders get hot to the touch when they fuck you had heard, but never got to put that to the test. 

After a few hard thrusts you began to go numb and couldn’t feel the pain anymore. Your body adjusted to the violation of his cock inside you, and you began to rock into him at his own rhythm. 

“Fuck…” He closed his eyes as his head fell back. “You  _ are  _ dangerous girl…. you are mine…” He said again, his muscles rippling under the pleasure of being inside you. 

_ Am I?  _ You thought, as you watched him. Every part of him seemed washed in pure, carnal pleasure. Like he needed it.. needed you, like he needed your body more than anything right now.  _ Or are you mine?  _

Your confidence began to creep back into your soul, but you didn’t show it. You kept the facade of the suffering virgin in awe of him. With every thrust you adapted to the feeling more. 

“You feel so….” your light voice let out as he rode you. 

“Say it.” He demanded, as he desperately tried to dig deeper and deeper into you. 

“You feel so deep my lord…” you moaned out, “I didn’t think it would feel like  _ this…”  _

“Only I feel like this.” He stated. 

“Only you…” You placated. You felt it ironic how he seemed so intent on catching your lies earlier, only to seemingly relish in them now.  _ Men are strange.  _ You thought.  _ Maybe my body is my own weapon.  _

“Knees. Now!” He shouted, pulling himself out of you and throwing you back on the floor at his feet. He forced your mouth open again and shoved himself in as you felt his hot seed coat the inside of your throat. This was a familiar sensation at least, you knew exactly how to swallow a man with a smile on your face. He came into you, spilling every drop into your mouth. When he was done he slid out of you, gripping your chin again and causing you to look at his face. His regal, evil, angular face. 

“Good, Sira.” He praised. “You are to work in the pleasure house as a high mistress, girl. You are to report to me every single thing that any of my so-called elites say to you. You will tell me every little bit of information they spill from their weak inclinations. I will summon you here every few days to report to me. Remember, you will not lie to me when I want information. You will not fight me when I want your body. And you will  _ never  _ forget who you belong to. And who is that?” 

“You, Fire Lord Ozai.” You lied, knowing the true answer in your own mind. 

You repeated the words over and over in your own head. 

_ I belong to myself.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh snap.


	4. Chapter One: Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira and Katara bond over camp chores. (Takes place during “The Stranger” episode in book one.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang narrowly escapes being caught at a fire festival, leading to an interesting conversation between Sira and Katara.

“So, what do you think of him?” Katara asked as she helped you gather firewood amongst the trees. 

“You mean do I trust him?” 

“Yeah.”

“Well, he saved us from the guards, so that stands for something.” You said nonchalantly. “I wish I had been with you when you got pulled on stage. I could have told Aang it was one of the most classic fire dancing performances in the book. The “dragon and the princess” move. There was nothing to worry about. Really bad timing for me to go for some fire flakes.”

“Still…” Katara’s voice shuddered. “It’s hard for me...with my past… to have a flaming dragon coming for me when I am tied up, where I come from, that’s not entertainment, that’s a real threat.”

You stopped for a moment and looked at her. She had that face she always had when she was deep in thought or memory. 

“Yeah…” You answered solemnly. “I’m sorry, Katara. I guess I have to remember that even though we both have reason to hate the Fire Nation, we grew up with very different perspectives of Fire Bending.”

“It’s okay.” She gave you a slight smile. “I am glad you are here, I think our varied experiences are good for the group. I’m glad you stowed away on Appa.” She chuckled. You and her had become pretty close in the last few weeks. You’d say it was an upgrade from your situation with the pirates, but that would be the understatement of the century. You really cared for this ragtag group of teens now, like a family you never had. Other than Mona of course, she was family too.

“So since we are alone out here I gotta ask you something.” You smiled at Katara. “We so very rarely get girl time you know?” 

“I know! We should come out for firewood and berries more often!” 

“Right?” You laughed. “So, anyways, I gotta know Katara. Did you...ya know… with Jet?” 

She immediately blushed and became shy. 

“Uh… yeah. Yeah I did. That was of course before I found out he was a super misguided person though!” 

“Big whoops.” You said, smiling. “It’s okay. You should have given your flower to Haru though, he was so much cuter.” 

“Yeah, well, who says I won’t get the chance later?” She teased. 

“That’s true, he definitely was into you. I know these things.” 

She blushed again. 

“So,” You continued. “How was it, with Jet? Was he nice to you?” 

“Actually...yes. It was very uh...ahem..” She paused. “I don’t really know how to talk about it.” 

“It’s okay take your time,” You comforted. “Trust me its good to talk about these things with your girlfriends. Of course, I was exposed to it way more often when I was your age.” 

“Oh I’m sure!” She got that look of sympathy again. “It was actually really nice with Jet, he was… gentle and it all felt really… um… good.” 

“Haha, well, good is… good.” You laughed. 

“It was very… hot but… comfy when he held me and...stuff.” 

“That’s good! I know he turned out to be different than you expected but a good experience for a first time is important.” 

“It didn’t last very long…. is that normal?” 

“Ha!” You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “That’s pretty normal for like, what was he? Sixteen? Like a year older than you? Yeah that is normal. Especially with such a pretty girl like you.” 

“You think I’m pretty?” She blushed again. 

“Oh yeah Katara obviously you are. You charm all the boys. Aang loves you, Jet was into you, Haru was too, everyone but your own brother sees how pretty you are.”

“Gee..” She paused, smiling. “Thanks, that’s so nice to hear!” 

“Any time.” You smiled. 

“So… who was your first time? How old were you?”

“I was sixteen and it was Fire Lord Ozai.” 

She stopped dead in her tracks, dropped the sticks she was holding and just stared at you, dumbfaced. 

“I’m sorry...what?” Pure shock radiated from her eyes. 

“I was sixteen and it was Fire Lord Ozai?” You repeated, laughing again. 

"Ha.." her face seemed to relax at your laughs. "Yeah…" she began to pick up the sticks again. "That was a joke then."

"Oh, no, I'm not joking. Your reaction was funny though."

"You're not!?" Shock returned to her voice. "What...how...I don't...what happened!?"

"Well, I was promised to be Zuko's first, I was chosen by the prince in a line of girls around his age. But Ozai was mad that-"

"Wait. Wait. WAIT." Katara cut you off. "You were promised to Zuko because he chose you to be his first!?"

"...yes. Anyways.." you tried to continue, but Katara wouldn't let you. 

"How have you NEVER mentioned this before??" 

"Right, because it's easy to just sneak topics like ' I was almost Zuko's concubine' and 'Ozai was my first' into every day conversation?" You teased. "As I said, we don't often get girl time."

"Well if these are the kinds of facts that come up during girl time I will definitely make sure to make more of it! So, Zuko chose you?"

"Yeah, he did. Good thing too because if he hadn't, my flower would have been sold to Commander Zhao. Not that it mattered anyway, because Ozai stepped in." 

"Woa…. Okay, there is just a lot to take in here." She seemed like she was thinking. 

"Tell me about it." 

"How do you know it would have been Zhao?"

"Oh, he was _obsessed_ with me, Katara. He put in the winning bid on my flower way before I was even of age. He would stare at me whenever he was around, he never touched any of the other girls in the house, he was only interested in me. He had me train on him multiple times before I was sixteen, and he was so… creepy and intimate about it. He would tell me how beautiful I was and he acted like everything I did was the touch of divinity…

Uh.. not to get too far into details.." you trailed off. 

"That sounds weird…" she agreed. "Do you know why he was so obsessed with you?" 

"Yeah, my grandma Mona said it had something to do with my mother. My mother was a slave taken from somewhere outside the fire Nation as a teen or something. Zhao was in love with her and wanted her to be his personal mistress, but she was already claimed by a secret benefactor. This benefactor was with her for years, very very few people knew who it was. He was definitely my father for sure. Anyways, Zhao never got over her, or her lack of willingness to leave her benefactor for him, so when she died I guess he fixated on the next best thing." 

"Only a little disturbing." She said solemnly. "So you really don't know who your father is?" 

"Literally no idea. Mona knew, but she wouldn't tell me who it was, she said it was better if I didn't know. We got in a lot of fights about it. She claims it would have put me in danger."

"The plot thickens." Katara mused. "Secret lovers, unknown fathers, cryptic half-truths, obsessed stalkers, princes, Lords, evil rulers, your story has it all." 

"Yeahhhh…" you sighed. "It's way less intriguing and dramatic when you live it. Anyways, I think we have wasted enough time out here. We should get back to camp with this firewood or the boys will start to think we got kidnapped." 

"Very true. Or start to freeze to death." Katara smiled. "Seriously, what would they do without us?" 

"I shudder to think of it!" You teased, before heading back to camp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback next!


	5. Flashback: False Flowers and Dark Obsessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira recalls her second ‘first time’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head the tags!

“Iko!?” You said in bemusement as Mona told you the news. “Really? Iko? She doesn’t know a man’s ‘dragon’ from a hole in the ground. I don’t even think she knows her own name half of the time. SHE is my replacement?” It had been four days since your encounter with Ozai. You hadn’t seen him since, you have been recovering in your room. Most girls don’t get as much recovery time from losing their flower, but you were Mona’s favorite of course. In that time, you heard you were going to be replaced. 

  
  


“Well, I don’t see why you are surprised.” Mona responded. You had told her everything that had happened with Ozai. Everything. You kept no secrets from her. “If Ozai wants you to be a spy with the elites, then you can’t be saved for Zuko. Furthermore, if his  _ concern  _ with you being Zuko’s chosen was you are too intelligent and manipulative, of  _ course  _ he would replace you with the dimmest lotus of the bunch.” 

“Now I have to watch her and her gaggle of equally silly friends fawn over her for two and a half years, all while she brags that she one-upped me.”

“I don’t think she would do that Sira. She may not be a genius by any stretch, but she is kind-hearted and sweet. Not meant for this life. Kind of like your mother, a very good-natured woman.” 

“DON’T compare Iko to my mother!” You snapped, frustrated at your whole situation. 

“Oh, a fire in you tonight girl. Funny of you to judge my comparison’s when I was the one that actually knew her to compare her. She  _ was  _ gentle and sweet, so is Iko. You are more like your father in almost every way.” 

“Because its  _ my  _ fault I never met her?” You retorted, before pausing and looking away. “Well..” you continued. “I guess in a way it  _ was  _ my fault.” 

“Hush Sira.” Mona comforted, scooting closer to you on your bed and hugging you from the side. You didn’t like thinking about how your mother died. You wondered how life would have been different if she had lived. 

“It was not your fault. In fact, do you want to know something?” She asked. 

“What?”

“She had the best midwives in the palace. The same ones that tended to Ursa. They were so good they knew she was in danger half-way through your birth. They tried to save her instead of you, and she was  _ furious  _ at them Sira. She demanded they save her child over her. She  _ chose  _ you, and knew what she was sacrificing to do it. She would not want you to feel guilt when thinking of her, but rather feel the love she felt for you.”

“You had never told me that before…” You answered weakly, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. You  _ hated  _ crying. You tried to stop it. “Were you there, when it happened?” You tried to distract yourself. 

“Of course I was.” She smiled. 

“Was my father?” 

“...yes.” She answered, her tone changing slightly. 

“How did he feel?” 

“What he felt is irrelevant.”

“He didn’t like it then. Is that why he has never seen me?” 

“It’s complicated Sira.” She answered solemnly. “He may want to see you, but if he showed you any special affection, it may come out that he is your father, and it is a sign of great shame to a man if it is known that he sired a bas-“ she cut off. 

“A bastard.” You finished. You knew the word well. 

“...yes. And your father is not in a position to want to deal with that sort of scandal.” 

“Right right right. I wish you would just tell me who he is, it’s not like I would tell anyone.” You knew what her answer would be, but one day you hoped in her old age she would just give up and give in to your prodding. 

“I’ve told you a thousand times girl that the knowledge of who he is will do nothing good for you.” 

“Can’t do anything worse than what I am dealing with at this point.” You answered, half-honestly. “I went from being the Prince’s Chosen, to having my flower ripped away by the fire lord, to LOSING my position as Prince’s Chosen, and now have to work like a normal girl in the house, servicing commanders and admirals and royal guests. Really, Mona, what else could this information do to me.” 

“You whine a lot for someone that has the best room in the pleasure house, more spending money than the rest of the girls combined,  _ and  _ a promising future as madame.” She winked. 

“I thought you said before that you would spare me of the life you had and that being Prince’s Chosen would be better?” You retorted. 

“Well, shit happens.” She said nonchalantly. “Sometimes we are too smart for our own good and anger kings, sometimes the Avatar disappears for a hundred years and the world gets plunged into chaos, you can’t always assume the best things will happen in the end, you just have to deal with what you got. I have ways of making it easier on you. Besides, trying to hide my favoritism at this point is useless, all the other girls know by now, and it’s not going to change, Sira. I raised you, I loved your mother as my own, you are the only baby I ever raised, and as far as I am concerned, you are my granddaughter. That’s all there is to it.”

“I suppose when you compare my problems with the problems the world has right now they seem kinda small.” You smiled at her. She always had a way of putting things in perspective. 

“Well, don’t sell your problems short just yet…” She answered, a look of apprehension on her face. “I’m sorry Sira, but letting you skip work any longer will draw eyes from Ozai. You need to start collecting information for him or I am afraid he will hurt you. I’m gonna have to insist you entertain someone tonight, and…”

“Oh for Sozin’s sake just say whatever it is you don’t wanna say.”

“It’s uh...your most persistent suitor.” 

“Ohhhhhh……….great.” Dread began to fill your core. “When will he be here? Does he know I’m not pure anymore.” 

“He will be here soon, and no he doesn’t. He spent the money he had on purchasing you, we told him the Prince had changed his mind last second, and therefore he won his prize. You won’t tell him any different.” 

“What!?” Worry began to join the dread you were feeling. “Won’t he...won’t he know?”

“Ha!” Mona laughed at that. “Men see and feel and believe what they want to. You think all the moans that echo these walls are genuine? No! Very very few of them are, actually, and yet the men walk out of here fat and happy and thinking they are a master bender of a woman’s body. Just act like its your first time and I am sure he will eat it up. Especially since he is so...taken with you.” 

“I really can’t express how much I do  _ not want  _ to do this Mona…” You confessed. 

She sighed, and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know, sweet thing.” She comforted. “But just remember what it gets you. You have the best quality clothes, the best quality meals, the best quality living space. Everyone has to work for what they get, and trust me, you get a lot better life than most people out there. When I was a child out in the colonies, before I got picked up for the pleasure house, I had to steal and fight for every crumb I got. I know you know no other life than this, so it’s hard to put it in perspective, but this is honest work for a great life compared to what it could be. Just think of that when you have to do things you don’t want to Sira. Besides, half of his bid is going to you.” She smiled. “That should make you happy, we can go to the shops tomorrow and maybe see a fire dancing show.” 

“Thanks Mona, I would like that. And maybe some spiked poppy-milk after this. I will want to forget I’m sure.” 

“I can make it happen.” She kissed your forehead. “Now, get ready.” 

“Yes Mona.” You answered affectionately as she left the room. 

‘Get ready’ really just meant putting on a new dress, combing your hair, pinning it with jewels, and cleaning yourself. You added perfume too, and tried to think of how you were going to stomach this. You almost preferred Ozai. Zhao was just… intense. Aggressive dominant types you could handle... _ feelings... _ on the other hand, much different.” 

*******************************************************

After awhile you were as ready as you would ever be. You sat on your bed, waiting. The time seemed to tick backwards. You couldn’t tell if you wanted him to hurry up and get here, or if you wanted to just stay in this limbo alone forever. 

Finally the sound rang through the room. 

_ Knock knock knock.  _

You stood from your bed and brushed your dress straight. 

“Come in, commander.” You said in a soft voice. 

The door slowly swung open, and in he stepped. Commander Zhao of the fire nation Navy. He closed the door and presented himself to your formally, bowing deeply, something not many men do for concubines. A sign of respect, you always thought it odd. You curtsied in return and gave your best attempt at a smile. 

“You look…..stunning.” Was the first thing he said. His tone almost seemed...nervous? 

“Thank you Commander.” You responded obediently. “You look handsome yourself. I see you wore your highest of uniforms. I feel honored.” 

“No...it is  _ I  _ that feels honored..” He smiled at you. “You are almost a spitting image of Sarana.” He admired. You very rarely heard her name. 

“...Except for your eyes, of course.” He added, almost bitterly. “They are the amber-colored eyes of a fire bender. No doubt from the one who stole her from me.” He took a moment to brood. He always did this. 

“They do suit you though Sira,” his mood uplifted. “Her chestnut hair and tan skin mixed with the fiery passion of a Fire Bender’s eyes, you are a beautiful woman.” 

“You honor me Commander.” You said sweetly. 

“Have you noticed if you have the gift?” He inquired, stepping further into the room. He walked about it a bit, studying the bed, the art, the statues. It seemed he was going to torture you with pleasantries first. 

“You mean Firebending Commander?” You asked. 

“Please, call me Zhao. I insist. And yes, the gift of firebending.” 

“No, I do not think I have been graced with the blessing.” You lied. You tried to sound sad and forelorn. 

“What about any other gifts?” He asked, you found that curious. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Your mother wasn’t from here, it could be very well that you have been blessed with a different art. How interesting that would be.” 

You felt like he knew where she was from, and just wasn’t telling you. You had never considered your mother being a bender before, you never thought to. You knew you got your fire bending from your father. 

“Not that I know of Comm-. Zhao.”

“Well, you are blessed with many other gifts Sira.” He stopped studying your room as if it was a museum, and finally walked up to you, getting close. 

_ Think of the money. Think of the money. Think of tomorrow in town with Mona.  _ The mantras played in your mind. 

“I have been waiting for this for a long time Sira. As soon as you were old enough for me to see you would be just as beautiful as Sarana.” 

“I know.” You answered truthfully, though you tried to make your voice sound endeared instead of annoyed. “I am glad that it could be you. You must hurry and make Admiral, so you can have me as your own, always.” 

_ Please never get promoted to Admiral.  _ Your thoughts contradicted your words. 

“It is my only goal in life.” He smiled at you, tenderly lifting his hand to your cheek and leaning in for a kiss. You returned his affection. What started off as sweet soon turned heavier, as his kisses grew hungrier for you. Soon you felt him pushing you back against the bed and laying you down, climbing on top of you as his breaths grew more ragged and his kisses turned more passionate. 

Even through the thick material of his formal military uniform you could feel his erection growing and firmly pressing against your thigh. 

You returned his passion in every way you could, acting had never been a weak point for you. You even rewarded his desperation for your touch with some moans and sweet nothings. He relished everything you did. 

He broke away from your embrace, chest rising and falling heavily, his eyes wide and hot with desire. 

“I...I wanted to take this slow...to savor this for the both of us…” He confessed. “But I just… I just…. I can’t hold it in, Sira, I feel as if I am going to burst.” 

“Who says you have to hold it in  _ my love?”  _ You toyed with him. He smiled at your false confession. “You have waited long enough, and so have I.” You began loosening his uniform, unlatching the buttons of his dress coat and pants. He eagerly helped you, until he was standing before the bed, completely exposed to you. 

If you weren’t disturbed by the fact he had been obsessing over you since you were 12, you would almost find his frame attractive. He was a master fire bender, and a commander of a fleet, his form was impressive and muscled in every way it could be. He embodied excellence in every way. He wasn’t as dominating in appearance as Ozai, but that was a comfort almost. 

He was also fully erect and throbbing for you already. He looked at you with eyes of pure desire. 

“Can you let your hair down for me?” He asked. You obliged, taking out the jeweled sticks that kept your hair up. Your brown hair tumbled down around you messily. He seemed to like it. 

He grabbed your hand and gently stood you up from the bed. His lips met yours again as he gingerly slipped your dress off your shoulders and it slid to the ground. He took a moment to study your body, just had he did the paintings in your room before. The chill of the air played with your newly naked skin, causing goosebumps to appear and your nipples to harden. 

“Gorgeous...just like I imagined.” He said, continuing to stare at you. In a flash, it was as if his whole demeanor changed, and you felt yourself being gripped by the hips and housed back onto the bed. In an instant he was over you, your bodies pressed together as he feverishly kissed you again. His tongue begging entrance between your lips, and his moans of want escaping with every breath. 

His hands attacked your body and explored your skin. He gripped and felt up your breasts, then his hands trailed down the small of your back and cupped your ass. You felt his cock between your thighs, rock hard and sliding up and down your sex is hurried thrusts. His tip was teasing your clit with every motion he made, and you couldn’t help be begin to respond to him. Soon your body betrayed you, and your hot wetness between your legs egged him on and made him even more hungry. 

His hands left your ass and he brought his rough fingers to your wet slit. They felt you up, relishing in how ready you were for him. He massaged you for a few moments, while whispering in your ear. 

“You are MINE. I’ve had my eyes on you longer than anyone else, this is my right, you are mine.” He seemed more as if he was talking to himself than to you. His tone began to grow...poisonous. He wasn’t being sweet and kind and gentlemanly anymore. Now he was owning you with every word and act. 

“I’m ready…” you said, desperately trying to get this over with. 

“You are ready when I say you are.” He retorted with annoyance in his voice. He forcefully spread your legs apart and you suddenly felt his tongue on you. He pressed it firmly into your clit and your entrance, as if he was trying to consume you. He licked at you as the air was filled with the sound of his grunts. After a few moments of tasting you, he came up again, and mounted you, sliding his cock between your folds and holding it there for a moment. 

“Mine, you hear me!?” He half-shouted before thrusting his entire length into you at once. You thought you would have to fake the pain, but you didn’t. You were still tender from the first time, and the pain echoed with this second intrusion of your body. Your eyes winced and you gripped the sheets, as he relentlessly took his prize over and over again. 

“Yes….yes! Mine!” He snarled in the throes of his passion. He sounded like a hungry dog in the way he was barking that word. 

“Mine...you are MINE.” 

Your body began to adapt to the feeling of him inside you, and the pain subsided into a numbness. You relaxed your face, and looked at him. His skin was scorching to the touch, you even felt that from his cock as he forced himself in and out of you, it filled you with a hot sensation, like when you first step into a steaming bath, only this time it was pouring into you. 

His face was like an angry snarl that matched his grunts and barks of possession. You locked eyes with him as he took you. You held his gaze for a moment, but he broke it. He looked away. 

“Eyes...those eyes…” He whispered to himself, half-mad sounding. “Don’t look at me with those  _ eyes.”  _

He pulled himself out of you and gripped your waist tightly, flipping you over to your stomach. You tried to get on your hands and knees, but he gripped your hair and pulled it tight, forcing you up and your back against his. 

“Down, woman. Submit to me.” He commanded before throwing you down onto the bed and pinning you in place. Your face lay flat against the sheets, and he lifted your ass higher. You felt his tip at your entrance again, his hand was still firmly gripping your hair as he thrusted into you once more. 

His pace picked up as his grunts devolved into carnal screams, that is when he wasn’t going off on a tangent. 

“You are supposed to me  _ mine  _ whore.” He said angrily as he bore into you mercilessly. “Yet every night I have to see you go off with other men. You belong to no one else but me. I am your master. I am your commander. I claim you. You belong to ME!” He shouted. 

_ I belong to myself.  _ The words echoed in your memory as you took every inch of him. You moaned out loud to appease him, thinking it would hasten his finish. 

“Yes...yes! Good little whore..” He praised. “You are going to make me come. Moan for me, Sira, let all in this place know who you belong to.” 

“Yes...please...I want you Zhao..please!” You placated him. 

“Like that...fuck…” His pace managed to get even quicker, the bed now beginning to sway under his force. “Mine...yes...I’ll breed you and then you’ll have no choice but to be mine...finish me… now!” 

You moved your hips to his rhythm and leaned lower to let him deeper. Your ass slapped against his firm lower stomach, and the sound of skin on skin racked the room. You massaged his shaft with the movements of your body. 

“Fucking….yes...like tha-... _ AAH!”  _ He let out a final primal shout as his body tensed up and he leaned into you, holding you firmly in place as he spilled every last drop of his hot seed into you. He held still like that for a few moments, still pinning you down by your hair as he released, as if he didn’t want you to move. He wanted every bit of it to absorb into your body. 

“Stay.” He commanded. “Do not move.” His breaths were heavy and you were both drenched in your own sweat. 

After what seemed like an eternity of being locked in this strange embrace, his grip on your hair let loose, and he slowly pulled himself out, collapsing beside you on the bed. 

You rolled over and laid on your back beside him. The silence was almost more uncomfortable than the act. He became a whole different person in the middle of that. You almost wish he stayed the love-struck fool the whole time instead of turning into whatever  _ that  _ was. 

You turned your head to look at him. He was just staring at the ceiling. One hand on his chest, the other laying beside him. You watched his chest rise and fall as his breathing became more normal again. You just continued looking at him. Trying to see if you could find what he was thinking, or even who he really was. 

“Don’t look at me with those eyes.” He said, not so much angrily this time, but despondent. With that he rolled over with his back turned to you, and he pulled up the blanket to cover him. With a flick of his hand, all the candles in the room were hushed out, and you were in utter darkness. 

You pulled the blanket up over yourself and laid beside him. You were waiting for him to fall asleep so you could sneak out and go see Mona. You needed her to brew you a potent cup of ‘whore’s tea’ they called it, but you couldn’t let Zhao know you were leaving. You listened intently for his breathing to level out into a slumbering rhythm. 

_ I’m gonna get that tea tonight.  _ You thought desperately. It was clear what Zhao wanted to do to you, he wanted to enslave you through making you be with child. Then he could petition to marry you. It never looks good to marry a whore at his rank, but he didn’t seem to care, and it would bring less shame than siring a bastard like your father had. His reputation would recover, but your life never would. 

_ I need that tea.  _ You thought desperately. It tasted awful, but it had one job and one job only when you drank it. You’d drink a whole pot of it just to make sure it would work, if that’s what it took. 

_ I refuse to have this man’s child.  _ You thought, gingerly sliding out of your blanket. You silently slipped on your robes and tip-toed into the pitch black of the hallway. Quietly treading through the darkness. 

_ I better make this fast.  _ You pleaded with your feet to carry you quickly but silently.  _ I need to return before he wakes up.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will pretty much bounce between flashbacks and the current story consistently, let me know if that format gets too confusing, and I can try and fix it!


	6. Chapter Two: Counting Grassblades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira reminisces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still taking place during the episode "the Deserter"

"I serve a man. More than a man really, he's a myth, but he's real, a living legend, Jeong Jeong the Deserter. He was a Fire Nation general, or wait, was he an admiral?"

This man, Chey, was excitedly going on over the fire. 

A mix of happiness, anger, and sadness hit you all at once. You were intrigued to say the least. This would be interesting. 

"He was very highly ranked, we get it." Sokka piped up. 

"He was an admiral." You affirmed calmly, poking the fire. 

"Oh, you have heard of him then!" Chey seemed excited. 

"I knew him once." You answered. 

"What? That's impossible, how would you have met him? He deserted ten years ago and before that he was one of the highest ranked elites in the whole Fire Nation!" 

"Sira has a unique past. That's all you need to know." Sokka chimed in. He was long over his original suspicion of your motives, and now was adorably protective of you. He knew you didn't like revealing your past to just anyone, so whenever it came up around strangers he would shut their curiosity down quick. 

"Sounds about right." You responded to Chey's surprise. "I think I was around.. Seven? The last time I saw him. He was always nice to me." 

"Well then I'm sure he will be happy to see you!" 

"Maybe." You said, nonchalantly. "It's been a long time. I remember his desertion causing quite a stir." 

"So there is a fire bending master out here that's NOT with the fire Lord?" Aang ASKED excitedly. "Sira, is he good?" 

"IS HE GOOD?" Chey sounded offended. "he is ENLIGHTENED. He is one of the ALL TIME GREATS. You could find no better teacher!" 

"He was  _ asking Sira."  _ Sokka said annoyed. 

"Yeah, Chey is right Aang. Jeong Jeong used to instruct fire benders, and he is one of the best masters there is. He can do way better than me. I'm sure." 

"Great!" Aang shouted. "We'll go see him first thing in the morning!" 

**********************************************

"He's gonna teach me! He's gonna teach me!" Aang exclaimed, emerging victorious from the tent. A reaction you weren't expecting given that you all had been treated with hostility since you got here, and you just heard a lot of yelling from Jeong Jeong. 

Aang's new master followed slowly from his tent, wearing quite the opposite expression as Aang, who was now running around the camp in a hyper jubilee. 

You calmly walked up to Jeong Jeong, who looked frustrated and exhausted already. 

"Jeong Jeong, it's been a long time." You greeted, half-warmly. 

His eyes fell upon you with annoyance and confusion at first, but after a moment, recognition began to cross his face. Followed by happy surprise. 

"Little Sira?" He asked, smiling. 

"The one and only. So, you are gonna teach him huh?" You teased.

"...I suppose." He answered, with a very bemused huff. 

"What convinced you?" You laughed. 

"Roku convinced me." He admitted begrudgingly. "Even I won't ignore Avatar Roku." 

"Wow, giving into a twelve year old boy! Such a change from the Admiral Instructor I remember who yielded to no one!" You nudged him playfully. "I remember once upon a time when your very presence made all the other elites quake in their boots. Even Ozai shared a healthy respect for your mastery." 

"Ha." He chuckled a bit at that, his expression softening. "Those were the good old days. My, it  _ has  _ been a long time." He mused nostalgically. "Not since I…" his happy expression suddenly wilted into guilt and remorse. 

"Not since you left her." You said, more harshly than you meant to. 

Silence followed for a moment as he sighed heavily. 

"I…. I know." He finally answered. 

Silence fell again. You didn't mean for the conversation to go this way. Not yet at least. You spent all last night trying to figure out how you were going to approach this. 

"I get why you did it." You said, honestly. "And truthfully? Now that I am older I see how brave it was. But for a long time I only felt anger. I mean…." You paused, trying not to let emotions rule your voice. 

"I know." He echoed sadly. 

"You didn't even write." 

"I thought if either of you got caught with letters from a traitor it would put you both in danger. After I had left, there was no going back, and I couldn't pull anyone else down with me. Especially the woman I-" he cut off. "Especially her." 

You both stood there for a long few moments, not wanting to walk away from each other, but not knowing quite what to say. 

You really  _ did  _ understand why he left, but the little girl in you always wondered why he didn't bring you both with him. Oh what a different life it would have been. You assumed it was for your safety but… Still. It took a long time to forgive him. 

Finally he spoke again. 

"So…how is she?" He asked, his tone heavy with both guilt and curiosity. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You knew since you heard his name out of Chey's mouth that you'd need to tell him. 

You stared at the ground as you tried to form the words. Whenever you tried to suppress your feelings, you would stare at the floor, or the ceiling, or the sky. Analysing every detail of every little thing you saw just so you could distract yourself. It helped you all those years at the palace. 

_ Don't think about what Zhao is doing, just memorize the pattern of the wallpaper.  _

_ Don't think about the men whose secrets you spill to Ozai, just study every strand of embroidery on the rug.  _

_ Don't think about the day you lost her, just count the blades of grass blowing in the breeze. _

This time, it wasn't helping much. 

"She's…" your voice quivered slightly. You swallowed hard. "She's gone. A few months now. That's why I left." 

He turned his face away from you. You continued counting grassblades, but they didn't stop the tears from gathering. 

"She'd be proud that you got away." He barely spoke above a whisper. "She'd be proud of where you are and who you are with. I know she…" he trailed off. You could tell there was more that he wanted to say, but he couldn't. 

"If it helps.." you tried to comfort him as you began to fall apart yourself. "She never blamed you like I did. She always spoke of you warmly and…. She never took another benefactor after you left. You were her one and only." 

He listened to you intently. "Thank you." He said, trying to maintain his professional composure. It may have fooled anyone that wasn't you. 

"It was good to see you Sira, I'm so glad you are here. We will talk more of this, but for now please excuse me. I must retire and meditate on my training routine for the young Avatar. Tell him we will begin in the morning. Please." 

"I will." You answered, allowing him to escape. Allowing you both to, really. 

You didn't hear Jeong Jeong go back to his tent and quietly weep to himself while holding her portrait. 

You didn't hear his whispered confessions as he mourned her. 

"You never told her I came to you that night…" he sobbed quietly. "I tried to take you with me! I only had room for two. We could have gone back for her! Why didn't you come with me? We could have gone back for her. I should never have left. I never should have. I should have stayed with you. You were right. You just wouldn't leave her behind. I should have known you wouldn't. But we could have gone back for her if you just would have come with me! I was never going to leave her there forever! Please forgive me!" 

His hushed and desperate pleas rang out only for the spirits to hear. 

"I never should have left…

...I never should have left you Mona." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really love and appreciate all the positive support from my fans on this work! I see and value every one of your kind inputs and encouragement! 
> 
> Thanks so much!


	7. Flashback: Pai Sho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira plays some Pai Sho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit of a long one! Warning you now!

You felt his seed slowly spilling out of you as you walked gingerly down the darkened hallways of the palace. It crawled further down your leg with every footfall. 

It  _ disgusted  _ you. 

The feeling of it, and your fresh new memory of what he was like, caused anger to well up. 

_ None of this is fair.  _ You thought. 

_ Why is Zhao obsessed with me? Why is Ozai? Why couldn’t I just stay Zuko’s mistress? Why am I here in the first place? Why can’t I know who my father is? Why didn’t Jeong Jeong take Mona and me with him all those years ago?  _

_ Why do I find myself stalking down the halls of my home with the essence of my enemy drain out of me?  _

You didn’t know the answers to these questions. You wondered if you ever would. You also figured that most 16 year old girls didn’t have to wonder such things. 

_ If I could be one of them for a day…. _

You pushed the thought out of your mind. All that mattered right now was to get to Mona’s room. It was close. 

_ Please Spirits… _ you prayed to the unknown.  _ Don’t curse me with this man’s child. Mother, if you are out there, if you have any say or power, don’t let this happen. Please.  _

You often would send hushed prayers like this to the Spirit World, to the ancestors, to your mother. It depended on the day whether or not you believed any of it was actually helpful. Tonight, you were a believer. 

Finally, after what seemed like a walk from eternity, you arrived at Mona’s door. It was the madam’s quarters, so it was the nicest room in the pleasure house. Ironic, since it was never used to see a man. Not anymore anyway, not since the love of her life deserted the fire nation. 

It had to be late, probably very deep in the night, so you expected her to be asleep. She normally didn’t keep late hours, but you saw a soft glow of light flickering from under her door. You knocked softly. 

“Sira, is that you?” She called from inside the room. 

“Yes, I need some of your tea..” You tried to speak loud enough for her to hear, but not so loud as to wake the hall. 

You heard hushed whispers from the other side of the door. 

“Do you mind?” You could barely hear Mona’s voice. 

_ She has a visitor? She never has visitors…. _ You thought to yourself. 

“No, not at all. I have been anxious to meet her anyway! You talk about her so often! And there is that other matter…” A man’s voice came from the other side of the door. One you couldn’t recognize. 

“Yes. Of course. Thank you, she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” Mona answered him quietly before raising her voice to tell you to come in. 

You opened the door slowly and entered her room. It was nice and simple. Cozy really. You had been in it many times. She was sitting at her table facing you with a smile. She had a guest across from her, he turned and smiled at your to. 

“Oh!” You couldn’t help contain your surprise and wonder. The man chuckled lightly at your reaction. “General Iroh! I didn’t expect to...uh…” You felt flustered. “It’s an honor to be in your presence General..” You blurted out a greeting, and bowed. The formality felt awkward in your night robes and with your hair all messy, but a prince was still a prince. 

“It’s quite alright child.” He said warmly. “No need for the formalities, truthfully. I have heard so much of you from Mona, I feel as if we have known each other already. Really, the honor is mine Sira.” His words seemed sincere. 

You walked up to them. They were sitting at a small game table, they had tea and cakes, and were playing a game. 

“I’m sorry Mona, I didn’t know you were entertaining a benefactor tonight…” You said shyly. You didn’t think she had any benefactors, or had any men at all, and quite frankly, the idea of her even ‘entertaining’ anymore made you feel a little uneasy in and of itself. 

To your relief they both laughed at the idea. 

“Oh, for Sozin’s sake Sira.” Mona playfully chided. “It is nothing so scandalous as that! We are just a couple of old friends and grumpy elders that enjoy an occasional evening of interesting discussion, good tea, and a few games of Pai Sho.” 

“Oh! Of course.” You responded, feeling silly. Everything you had ever heard of General Iroh suggested that his only love was the mother of his son, the one who died in Ba Sing Se a couple of years ago. It was a sad story, and a tragic event that set off a strange time for the Fire Nation family. The death of Lu Ten, the defeat of General Iroh, the death of Fire Lord Azulon, the overtaking of the throne by Ozai, the disappearance of Ursa. It was a bad time for everyone. Most of all though, through that whole time, you felt the most sympathy for Iroh. Losing a son, a battle, a reputation, and his birthright all in a few weeks is a lot. 

You also often wondered if life would be different if Ozai hadn’t taken the throne. 

_ Would I still be Zuko’s mistress if it were Fire Lord Iroh instead of Fire Lord Ozai?  _ You were lost in thought. 

“...Sira?” Mona snapped you out of your musings. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, distracted. 

“You said you needed the tea?” 

“Oh...uh….yes….the tea..” You suddenly felt really awkward discussing the need for ‘Whore’s Tea’ around the General. Especially since it was  _ another  _ Fire Nation elite that caused the need for it tonight. 

“Well, did you need it?” She asked again, sympathy ringing in her tone. 

“Yes...please…” 

“Of course my dear.” She answered, getting up and heading for the tea set. “I’ll even try to fix the taste for you.”

“I know just the trick..” Iroh added in. “You know,” he leaned a little closer. “I am a bit of a tea lover myself.” 

“Heh..” You let out with a smile. His presence was comforting. Or at least his seeming lack of formality and warm demeanor relaxed you a bit. 

“Do you play?” He asked, motioning toward the board. 

“A little, Mona has taught me before.” 

“That’s good!” He exclaimed. “Pai Sho is a great game. A game of the mind. I have made many good friends and memories playing this game throughout my life. It’s too bad my nephew and niece don’t seem to take an interest in it.” 

“I like it alright…but it’s a little hard for me to understand. I am not very good.” 

“Well, sit with me! I can teach you some of what I know! The first and most important thing of course, is the Lotus tile. It’s a rarely used strategy, but the best players, like your grandmother and myself, know how to use it in a way that is very strategic in-...” He began to trail off into his explanation of Pai Shou. At first you were just absent-mindedly humoring him. But his manner and enthusiasm actually made you enjoy the game more than you had expected. This was the most genuinely enjoyable time you had ever spent with an elite. For a moment your problems seemed to melt away, and the only thing on your mind was how to make your next move on the game board. 

“I think I am going to do this..” You answered, hesitantly moving one of your tiles. 

“Oh, that is a great move! I am starting to see your preferred playing style. Now, you next move should be one that sets you up for-“ 

“Okay okay you two.” Mona returned with the tea pot, a steaming reminder of why you were here in the first place. “Here, I’ll poor you a cup. I brought you some of the cakes you like too, to try and help with the taste. You’ll need to drink at least a couple of cups.” 

“I know..” You sighed. 

“Here, this will help.” Iroh said, bringing out a small vile from one of his pockets. 

“What is it?” 

“Honey, from a little village north of Ba Sing Se. It is my last one, and I don’t think I will be going back to the Earth Kingdom any time soon, so I have been saving it. However, such a promising young pupil in Pai Sho as you, deserves a couple drops of it I would say.” 

“Thank you!” You held out your cup for him to add the honey. 

The tea still wasn’t  _ good,  _ but at least it wasn’t as  _ awful  _ as usual. 

“It really helps!” You added, smiling to Iroh. 

“So, are you okay?” Mona asked, concerned. 

“Oh, yes, I am okay. I uh…” you looked at Iroh, feeling awkward talking about it around him. 

“He’s aware Sira. It’s okay. He is an old friend of mine. He knows the nature of men and beasts more than many. You are safe around him.” 

“Are...you sure?” You asked. More towards Iroh than to Mona, wondering if it was even something he would want to hear. 

“If you don’t want me around to talk about it that is your right, and I will honor it, and come back and play Pai Sho another time. I am always looking for excuses to come play with the madame anyways!” He teased, trying to lighten the situation. 

“Okay..” you still weren’t sure about it, but maybe he would know what to say about Zhao. Though, you didn’t even really know what to say about him. 

“He doesn’t like my eyes.” Was all you could think to say right now. Of all the things that happened between you and the Admiral, his aversion to your eyes is what stood out the most. 

“Well, that confirms my assumption of his taste.” Iroh comforted. “Because you have wonderful amber eyes Sira. Like my niece, the princess!” 

You had never met the princess, but you assumed being compared to her was an honor. 

“Thank you General.” You smiled. 

“Of course, it’s only truth.” He smiled, but there was a hint of sorrow and pity behind his face now. He sighed. “I never advocated for Zhao’s promotion. He is hot-headed, irrational. He only ever cares about his own goals and glory. It is unbecoming of an Officer of the Fire Nation Fleet. Had I known he was this… this….taken with you, I would have put him on a ship, and sent him off to sea. I can still do that, if you want. It won’t change tonight, but I could have him gone in a week, somewhere off on a ship, far away from here.” 

“...could you really?” You asked, hopeful. Zhao wasn’t your only problem right now, of course there was the whole matter of Ozai, but Zhao not being around would make your life less stressful for sure. 

“Of course! He would revel in the chance to prove his worth and earn more reputation I am sure. It takes him away from here, which is good for more than just you. I never found him the most enjoyable companion. I’ll see what I can do. I may not be Fire Lord, but I still have influence in the higher ranks.” 

“I...I would be ever so grateful General Iroh!” You exclaimed. Not having to deal with Zhao for a few months would take a lot off of your plate. You were so renewed with energy you finished three cups of tea, despite the taste. 

“Well, that is really kind of you, General. You would have my thanks as well.” Mona smiled. She seemed almost moved, you rarely saw here like anyone but you. 

“Of course. It’s really no trouble.” 

“Speaking of trouble..” you said, putting down your now empty cup. “I should probably go back to my room…. I didn’t intend to be gone for very long and he is still there… I really don’t want him waking up with me not there. I have a feeling that wouldn’t be good.” 

“You are probably right.” Mona affirmed. She took your cup and kissed the top of your head. You smiled and hugged her and began to head for the door, feeling much better than when you had entered it. 

“Sira, I give you my word.” Iroh stopped you before you could leave. “If you can just get through this night, I will have him gone in five days or less. You have my vow as a General, and as your Pai Sho master.” He smiled. 

You bowed deeply. You felt like hugging him, but that felt too informal. You settled with a sincere ‘thank you’ and headed back out into the hallway. 

Once you were out of earshot, Mona sat back down at the Pai Sho table and sighed. 

“I didn’t want this life for her.” She stared sadly at the tiles. “I wish there was more I could do.” 

“You do so much Mona, you don’t give yourself credit.” Iroh answered, trying to comfort her. “She is intelligent, she is educated, she is strong. That is all because of you. She has as good a life as her situation could have gotten her, for now. We will help her, don’t worry. We will find a way.” 

“She is just so… sweet. And innocent. She isn’t meant for this life.” 

“Yes, she takes after Sarana.” He answered. “That is for the best. Well, in all but one way. Have you noticed if she can…?” He inquired. 

“It’s fire, thank the Spirits.” Mona answered. “It’s risky. It would have been better if she didn’t have any bending at all, but at least it is way less risky than if she was a water bender like her mother.”

“It would have been harder to hide, that is for sure. It wouldn’t have been safe for her. At least with Fire she can blend in, and she has a skill that can protect her in the future. Tell me, have you told her that her mother was from the southern water tribe?” 

“No. I haven’t told her much. I don’t know what good it would do. It’s not a nice story. A young girl from the southern water tribe, one of the last of her kind, gets raided by the fire nation and sold into the pleasure house, having to hide her bending for years, having to pretend she is in love with a man she hates, and then dying bringing the only good thing in her life into this world.” Mona took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. 

“I believe in the Spirits as much as you do Iroh, but I shudder to think about how they can let so much pain happen to such good souls. Sarana didn’t deserve it. Sira doesn’t either. I mean, Ozai, Zhao, Sarana, all of it. I know you were against her pairing with Zuko, and for understandable reasons, but it would have been the best life she could have and you know it.”

“I stand by my hesitance on that, but I do see your point. Still, it’s probably for the best that that arrangement is no longer. I don’t agree with  _ how  _ it was intervened...but…”

“I know, I know.” Mona interrupted. “I just don’t see how fate can see fit to put one girl through so much. I do my best for her, and try to protect her, but there is only so much I can do.”

“The spirits must have great things in store for her.” Iroh said, resetting the board of Pai Sho and pouring them both another cup of tea. 

“The spirits give the hardest tests to those they have the greatest plans for. I feel the same of my nephew. He has gone through so much, and yet, I feel the worst is yet to come. All I can hope to do is guide him through, and hope he finds the right path. Now,” He said, placing the final piece down. “Shall you start, or shall I?” 

**************************************************************************************

The hallway was just as dark as before, but it felt less menacing now. Suddenly you had a friend you hadn’t had before, and a promise that Zhao would be out of the picture soon. It changed your mood, and instead of sneaking around every corner, you walked confidently down the corridors. 

Until, that is, you ran directly into someone walking the opposite way as you. 

You both crashed unexpectedly into each other. You didn’t hear them coming, you were too lost in your own thoughts. 

A feeling of white-hot embarrassment flushed over your face, followed quickly by fear and distress as you hoped desperately that it wasn’t Zhao. 

“I am so sorry! I didn’t see you there!” You blurted out a clumsy apology. 

Fire suddenly lit up in their palm to illuminate the hallway. The light revealed the uniform of royalty, and a face that you recognized. 

“It’s fine.” He said, annoyed, as he looked at you. 

“Prince Zuko!” You bowed. Tonight was a night of surprises apparently. “It’s an honor to see you!” 

“Is it?” He asked with a tone you couldn’t quite place. “I am looking for my uncle. Have you seen him?” 

“Yes, he is with my grandma.” 

“She isn’t your grandmother.” He said flatly. “You don’t have one. What are you doing out here anyways?” 

His tone was starting to annoy. You didn’t know why he was being rude to you, he had a totally different attitude than when he had chosen you a few days ago. 

“I could ask you the same question your  _ highness.”  _ You emphasized the last word in a patronizing way. “I  _ live  _ in this area of the palace. You don’t.” 

“As I said, I am looking for my Uncle. I know he comes here at night once in awhile for company and his stupid game. I have important things to discuss with him.” 

“Really? This late at night?” 

“It’s really nothing that concerns you. Don’t have have admirals and generals to  _ entertain?”  _

“Right.” You said, feeling done with this whole interaction. “Good night your princeliness. It’s always a pleasure.” You brushed passed him, and continued down the hallway to your room. 

“Wait.” You heard from behind. You stopped and turned back. 

“Yes?” Now your tone was just annoyed as his was. 

“I have to know.” 

“What?” 

“Why did you say no?”

“Say no? What are you talking about?” 

“I….” He seemed to feel less confident now. “I chose you. And the day after, my father told me you had declined, and that I would have to choose someone else.” 

“Hmph!” You exclaimed, angry. “That is  _ not  _ what happened.” 

“What?” He said, surprised. You closed the gap between you so you could talk more quietly. 

“That is not what happened. Your father told me I couldn’t be with you. He  _ made  _ it happen. He said he didn’t approve of it.” You only told him half the truth. He didn’t need to know  _ all  _ of it. 

“I see.” Was all Zuko answered. 

“You believe me?” 

“Honestly, I am not surprised at it. Father has been acting strange for a long time now, and it seems like something he would do. Though I don’t know why.” 

“Does he often do things like this to you?” 

“Yes.” He looked away from you. He still had fire glimmering in his palm, illuminating the pain in his face. 

“You should stand up to him.” 

“It’s not that easy. He is the Fire Lord.” 

“Yeah, and you are the next one.”

“That doesn’t matter.” 

“Doesn’t it? Did your father never stand up to Fire Lord Azulon?” 

“The opposite actually. They argued often.” 

“See? Then why can’t you stand up to your father?”

“It’s not the same.”

“I don’t see why it isn’t.”

“Because I am not my father and he is not my grandfather.” 

“No, you are better than both of them.” You let out without thinking. 

“Really?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours. 

“Uh…” You were caught off guard. “Yes.” 

“What do you know about it?” 

“I know who your father is. And I know what I have heard of your grandfather, even though I never met him before he died. They are very similar people. You are nothing like them. I have only met you a handful of times and I can tell you you are better than them.” 

“I don’t see how you can see that when you don’t even know me.” 

“I know more than you think. I am good at reading people. It’s a necessary skill for my life.” 

The prince was quiet for a few moments. He looked down, like he wanted to say something. 

“Father never lets me in on the war councils.” He said. “It’s been bothering me and I … I have been wanting to say something.” 

You weren’t quite sure why he was confining in you, but it made you happy all the same. You didn’t know the Prince well, but he was kinder and sweeter than any of the others, and he was handsome already. You were excited to see what he would become. You were happy when he picked you, and heartbroken when it was ripped away. Sure, it was a status boost, and it would have been a comfortable life, but you found yourself realizing you had had a crush on him for awhile too. 

“You should say something Zuko.” You said, risking addressing him by his name. It startled him, and he looked at you again. A smile played at the corner of his lips. 

“I don’t know what to say. He just never lets me in.” 

“When is the next one?” 

“In a couple of days. We will be discussing our next movements against the earth kingdom.” 

“Well, don’t take no for an answer next time. Insist.” 

“I don’t know…” He said, hesitantly. 

“Maybe that is what he is waiting for? Maybe he is looking for you to be insistent. For you to have a fire of passion. Future Fire Lords don’t wait for permission, they just assume their duty. Maybe he is waiting for you to do yours.” 

“That…” he seemed deep in thought. “That...actually sounds like something my father would say.” He seemed surprised. 

“Yeah, I know.” You recalled the Fire Lord’s attitude when you saw him last. “Anyways,” you continued, shaking it from your mind. “When the next War Council happens, you need to make sure you get in. Don’t take no for an answer. Use your uncle if you need to, I am sure he would put in a good word for you. And speak your mind while you are there. You are a Prince, not some random officer. I am sure he is just waiting for you to start to lead.” 

“Hmm. Don’t take no for an answer...speak my mind… lead…” He repeated as he thought. “That actually makes sense.” 

“See?” You asked. “Wouldn’t I have made a good adviser to you?” You smiled. 

He smiled back, although somewhat sadly. 

“Why do you think I chose you?” 

You felt your cheeks flush a bit. 

“Anyways..” He turned away, trying to hide his face. “I….should find my uncle.” 

“Yeah. But hey, you know what?” You said, stepping closer. 

“Uh...what?” 

“I may not be able to be your first….mistress..” You said shyly. “But I can be your first in something.” 

“What are you talking abo-“ You cut him off, as you suddenly placed your hands on his face and touched your lips to his. 

He was startled, and his eyes grew wide, but you didn’t let go. 

After a couple of seconds, he began to relax, and you felt him return your affection. He felt innocent, he felt soft, he felt like no one you had ever kissed before. 

When you let go of him, you took a gentle step back. You knew your cheeks were as red as the paint on the walls. 

“So anyways...goodnight Prince Zuko!” You hurriedly bowed before turning away and scurrying down the hallway to your room. 

“Good Night Sira…” You faintly heard from the stunned Prince as the distance grew between you. 

_ They can take away a lot of choices from me….  _ You thought, smiling to yourself.  _ But they can’t take them all.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go MutedHero, some Zuko content for ya. Just an appetizer. XD Also, speaking of, here are some shoutouts to some of my most regular fans and commenters, I love and and appreciate you guys’ Support and feedback! <3 I see you! 
> 
> Hero, Heaven, Nikkie, Marzipan, and KMosh! <3 
> 
> And to everyone else who leaves love on this work, all the Kudos, Comments, Subscriptions, and Bookmarks are appreciated! It’s y’all that give me the inspiration and motivation to keep it up! All somewhere between 100 and 200 of you!
> 
> Finally *Hell Yeah* to my first work to have over a thousand hits and nearly a hundred kudos!! <3 
> 
> Hope you all are staying safe and sane in the crazy world right now! 
> 
> Thanks! ~Heatheness


	8. Chapter Three: Sarana of the Southern Water Tribe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira goes fishing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celebrating my first work with 100 kudos and my very first user subscriber! Whoever you are, I appreciate the HECK out of you;

It had been a long time since you could relax like this. You leaned back a little, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. The sun was on your skin, the breeze was nice, and your only care in the world was waiting for a fish to bite your hook. 

Being with Aang, Katara, Sokka, Appa and Momo was the happiest you had been in a long time, but you wouldn’t exactly call it  _ relaxing _ . You were moving every day, some days you were graced with the excitement of a fight, most days you just spent flying, which you still weren’t entirely used to. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you could just enjoy the day like this. You opened your eyes and smiled. 

_ Life is good right now.  _

Sokka was sparring with some of Jeong Jeong’s camp members, Aang was meditating by the water, you were fishing, and Katara was now walking up to you with that familiar smile on her face. 

“Hello Katara!” You greeted. “Are you having a good time here?” 

“Yeah, it’s actually kind of nice.” She responded, sitting next to you in the grass. “Though, sometimes I can’t help but think that we shouldn’t linger here too long. Our goal is still to get to the Northern Water Tribe.”

“That’s true. But its only been a couple of days, and Aang needs to learn fire bending from a master. So while we are here, just try to relax!” 

“Haha, yeah, that’s true. I see you have liked it!”

“Yes. I can’t remember the last time I went fishing. It was definitely way back in the fire nation.” 

“You went fishing back when you were a concubine?” She asked, surprised. 

“Yeah, sometimes we had days off. I would go shopping, or go to a show with my friends or my grandmother. Once in awhile I’d go fishing or out exploring in the woods, especially when I was a kid, too young to train or work.” 

“That doesn’t sound that awful, when you were a kid at least. That’s good, that you have some good childhood memories.”

“Oh, I really do. In the grand scheme of things anyway. My grandma made sure to give me a good life wherever she could.”

“Yeah, my gran gran did the same. I miss her a lot.” Katara sighed. “You don’t talk about her super often, what was she like?” 

“Oh, she was strict, but funny. She cared for me, she was the only family I had, and she wasn’t even my blood family. I miss her very much.” 

“She sounds like a great woman.” Katara smiled. “I think her and my gran gran would get along.” 

“Probably!” 

“You said her and Jeong Jeong had history?” She asked, curiously. 

“Yeah, they were in love when they were younger. I remember when he left, I was confused and angry. I get it more now, I see that he is strong and brave and all that. I still don’t know why he didn’t bring us with him but, it is what it is. Mona never seemed to hate him. Another thing I will never understand. She liked taking her secrets to the grave.” 

“I’m sure anything she kept to herself she did for a reason.” Katara tried to comfort you. 

“Oh, I know. But protecting me and doing what’s best for me are two different things sometimes. I deserved to know the truth about a lot of things, and now there’s probably no one left who knows those secrets.”

“Maybe Jeong Jeong?” Katara suggested. 

“Maybe. If we have another moment alone, I might pry him on it. I wanted to ask him about my mother anyways. I have heard a few people talk about her, but I wonder what he would say. I like hearing people tell me about her.” 

“Yeah, I like talking about my mother too. It makes me sad, but I feel like as long as I still talk about her, and keep her memory alive, then...she’s not really all the way gone you know?” 

“I know exactly what you mean. What was your mother’s name Katara? I don’t think I have ever heard you say it.”

“Oh, really?” She seemed deep in thought. “Maybe I haven’t. We just call her ‘mom’ of course.” She smiled, with a hint of sadness. “Her name was Kya. Thank you for asking. It’s nice to share it. What was your mother’s name?” 

“Sarana.” You didn’t think you had heard her name out loud since the night with Zhao. You were happy to replace that memory with a nicer one. 

“Sarana?” Katara asked. “Really?” 

“Yes?” You affirmed. 

“That’s a strange coincidence. I know that name.” 

“Yeah?” Suddenly your curiosity was perked. 

“Yes. It’s a water tribe name. Though I can’t quite remember where I remember hearing it.” She said, perplexed. 

“Huh…well, I always knew my mother was foreign, taken from some far away land. I suppose it’s possible she was from one of the water tribes.” 

“Yeah...where do I remember hearing that name?” Katara asked herself. She turned her head, scanning the area before finding Sokka. “Hey, Sokka!” 

He paused his sparring and looked at her. “What?” 

“Come here for a second!”

“Right now? Katara I am training!” 

“Just...please! It will only take a minute!”

“Ugh.” Sokka put down his boomerang and walked over. “What is it?” 

“Where have we heard the name Sarana before?” 

“Sarana…” He looked like he was thinking. He crossed his arms and grabbed his chin like he did every time he was deep in thought. “Oh! Ellie.”

“Oh, of course! Aunt Ellie!” 

“Uh….who is Ellie?” You asked. 

“She’s not really our Aunt.” Sokka informed. “She is our Gran Gran’s best friend. They have known each other for…. a LOT of years. We call her Aunt Ellie because we grew up around her. Anyways, she would talk about her daughter, and her daughter’s name was Sarana I am pretty sure.” 

“...really?” You asked in disbelief. 

“Yeah!” Katara affirmed. “That actually makes so much sense! Ellie told us that her daughter was stolen in the raid before our mother was attacked. She never saw her again. It’s always been a really sad story. They took her because she could water bend. Her name was Sarana! I wonder….I wonder if it’s possible?” 

“Well, it’s definitely not  _ impossible…”  _ you mused. “And the timelines seem to match up…” 

“That’s crazy! If that’s true, then you are a part of our tribe!” Katara exclaimed happily. 

“Oh...but I am Fire Nation and a fire bender…” 

“That doesn’t matter! Your grandmother would be Ellie! An elder of our tribe! And your mother was a water bender of our tribe! You would be too! This is so great!” 

“Really? That….that would be amazing..” You felt your emotions stirring deep within. “If that’s true then… then I could go to the southern tribe with you guys and meet...my…”

“Your grandma!” Sokka announced, just as excited. “Yes! She would love to meet you! So would Gran Gran! What a crazy coincidence.” 

“Not coincidence..” you noted. “Fate!” You smiled at them. You felt warm and happy inside. You knew there was a chance that this Sarana wasn’t necessarily your mother, but you wanted to believe it. And the evidence suggested it really could be. It was more than you had ever gotten before. There was something about it that just made you happy. That a part of you was from… somewhere else. Somewhere close to the heart of your friends. 

Katara was smiling at you warmly when you suddenly heard an excited Aang yelling in the background. 

"I did it! I made fire!" He shouted, holding a small fireball between his hands. 

"Aang, that's great!" Katara yelled after him. "But you should take it slow!"

Aang's excitement got the best of him. This was precisely why you had been hesitant to train him directly with fire before. You had hoped Jeong Jeong could quell his naive enthusiasm. At the end of the day, fire was a weapon, not a toy, and here he was, playing with it. 

He made the flame dance and spin in circles around him, as if it was a puff of air he was doing air bending tricks with. 

"Aang! You'll Hurt yourself!" Katara called after him, stepping closer. 

"Yeah, or someone else!" You echoed.

"I wonder how that juggler did it…" he mused, attempting to create a dragon. 

"No!" You shouted, reaching out to bend Aang's fire and extinguish it. It was too late though, he had lashed out, and Katara screamed in pain. 

"Katara, I'm so sorry!" Aang called as Katara ran off into the woods. 

Sokka ran after the Avatar in anger, while you took off after Katara. From what you could see, she got burned pretty badly.

When you caught up to her she was bent over by a stream, crying. 

"Katara, are you okay?" You asked, hurting for her. You knelt beside her, and saw that her wounds were worse than you feared. 

"It hurts!" She choked out between cries. "It hurts so bad Sira!" 

"I know...I know…" you petted her hair and tried to calm her. "Put your hands in the stream, it will hurt less." 

She did so hesitantly, wincing in agony as her skin hit the cool water. 

"Keep them there for a few minutes.." you instructed. She nodded. Her whole body was shaking from the shock. 

Suddenly, a light glow imminated from her hands. You both stared confused, when she pulled them out of the stream, fully healed. 

"What the…" you mused out loud. Katara just stared at her hands in pure shock. "You can heal!" 

"What?" She asked, confused. 

"Mona used to tell me stories of the water benders all the time when I was growing up. She said that among them there were great healers! You have that gift!" 

"I……" Katara was still staring at her hands in disbelief, but there was no time to contemplate her new ability. 

Suddenly, the entire stream went up in a torrent of flames, and you could make out the shape of fire bending ships. On pure instinct you grabbed Katara by the arm and stood her to her feet. 

"Go! Go now! Get the others and get out of here! Send for Jeong Jeong! Now!" You demanded, as her wide-eyed expression nodded back at you. She took off back towards the camp. 

You took a defensive stance off the shoreline and bended some of the flame away into the stream. You coughed in the plumes of smoke billowing from the source. 

Squinting, you opened your eyes just enough to see the bow of the first ship land, and the face of the leader step through the smoky haze. 

Your blood ran cold, and your face felt numb. You held your defensive stance and gathered as much bravery as you could. You took a deep breath. 

"It's been a long time…." You said calmly as your enemy drew closer. Recognition crossed his face. 

"It's been a long time indeed, Admiral Zhao." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhh snap.


	9. Flashback: Asking Only Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A most historic Agni-Kai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!
> 
> Sorry for the slight delay in publishing, trying to keep it semi-regular! Life been doin life things lately. 
> 
> Anyways, I am honored and it makes me so happy that so many people like this story and are kind enough to give me their words of support and positivity! It makes my day every time and is super encouraging!
> 
> I also noticed since the last time I added a chapter I have gone from 0 to 3 user subscribers, which I consider the highest of compliments! I haven’t figured out how to find out who those three are but just know whoever you are I LOVE YOU. :3 And I hope I continue to entertain in a satisfactory manner #hellyeah
> 
> Hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

The news spread like wildfire. By midday everyone had heard. People, servants, citizens and soldiers alike were all flocking to the Arena to see it with their own eyes. 

Zuko had been challenged to an Agni-Kai. 

The reason was unclear. Rumors circulated through the halls. Amongst them was only one fact in common; something had happened at the war council. 

You felt  _ sick.  _

_ I hope whatever this is…. it isn’t because of what I told him… I hope I am not to blame…  _ worries echoed through your mind. You had told no one about your encounter with Zuko, you imagined he hadn’t told anyone either. It had been your secret. 

_ It had been your secret.  _

“Something’s wrong with you, girl.” Mona stated. It wasn’t a question, she always knew when something was wrong. You didn’t even have the energy or desire to lie, so you just looked away in shame. 

“Tell me, Sira.” She said, placing her hand gently on your back as tears began to sting the corners of your eyes. 

“It’s Zuko…” you confessed, your voice wavering. 

“What about him?”

“I fear I may have done this to him…”

“How in Sozin’s name do you think you could be responsible for this?” 

“The other night, when I left you and Iroh, I ran into him in the halls. We had some moments together… he asked me what to do about his father not letting him in on the war councils… I told him to stand up for himself and to be strong…. and now he has been challenged to an Agni-Kai…” 

“Your advice was as sound as any others.” Mona comforted. “You are never responsible for another person’s choices, child. You gave your thoughts, it was up to the Prince to act on them or not. He must have felt it was the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t always lead to the right ending, but that doesn’t mean you stop doing the right thing.”

“I hope you are right… I would just feel awful if…”

“Nothing bad will happen to him. Well, nothing  _ too  _ bad. He is the Crown Prince and heir to the Fire Kingdom. At most he’ll be lightly defeated as a lesson, and then will go on with his life. He isn’t some common recruit that’s committed insubordination, he is a member of the royal family, at the end of the day, whoever has probably challenged him is his inferior, it would be career suicide to seriously harm him.” 

“I hope you are right Mona…” You said, feeling slightly better. He  _ was  _ the Crown Prince after all. 

“Would you like to watch? Give him encouragement?”

That was the question you were dreading since the moment you had heard about the Agni-Kai in the first place. You really didn’t know what you wanted to do. A part of you did not want to see him hurt, another part of you felt you owed it to him to be there.

“If I am the one that encouraged him…. I should see it through. Show him that I believe he did the right thing.” 

“Good girl.” Mona smiled, taking you gently by the hand. “Iroh has privileged seats for the Arena, and seeing how it’s his nephew, I bet he’ll be on the sidelines with the rest of the family. It just so happens, he has given me the key for his arena balcony to use when he isn’t there, so we will have one of the best views of all. Zuko should definitely be able to see you.” 

“That sounds nice!” You smiled, your spirits beginning to lift a bit. “Besides, it is not as though Zuko is untrained in the art of fire bending, maybe he could win?”

“Oh, he is trained by the very best I am sure!” Mona encouraged. 

You both joined the waves of people heading toward the Arena. It seemed it would be standing-room only. It wasn’t an often occasion to have members of the royal family challenged to Agni-Kai, especially not teenage ones. 

As you wove through the halls and started going into higher and higher privileged areas of the palace it got less crowded. Soon you were in the royale suite.

“Oh, what a privilege.” You heard a voice call from behind. You turned. 

“Oh!” You and Mona immediately curtsied deeply. 

“Princess, how nice it is to see you.” Mona greeted in her usual calm tone. You however, had never seen the Princess before, and for some reason you felt ill at ease. 

“The pleasure is all mine Mona. And who is this?” Though her words were polite, you felt something dark behind them.

“This is Sira, a protege of mine.” 

“Oh, I have heard all about Sira.” She smiled at you. “My brother seems quite taken with you, you should feel honored, he isn’t taken by many.”

“Your words are kind Princess.” You used your most submissive tone. “I am truly unworthy of notice from anyone of your family’s station, so if the Prince has mentioned me at all, that is an honor in and of itself.” You kept your eyes bowed. 

“Oh, he has mentioned plenty.” She seemed taunting. “I got to speak with him before he went down to the Arena grounds, he seemed full of confidence because of you. I believe he said something along the lines of ‘Sira gave me the strength to speak at the War Council, so she too will inspire me to have the strength to defend what I said.’”

You smiled on the inside. She continued. 

“That is bold, coming from him. You should take that as a compliment. Not many people can sway my brother like that. It’s about time he said what was on his mind. I am excited to see what he can do in the ring.” 

“As are we.” Mona answered before you could say anything. 

“It should be a  _ show.”  _ She let out a strange chuckle at that last word before turning away to head back down the hall. 

You had never seen or interacted with her before, and you weren’t sure you liked it. Everything she said meant one thing when spoken, but another when  _ understood.  _ It seemed she was speaking in riddles, riddles you didn’t quite understand, and you couldn’t tell how you felt about it all. 

Mona stared after her for a few moments, unmoving. Suddenly the look of calm on her face turned into a look of concern.

“Let’s go, Sira.” She broke the silence, leading you to the balcony seats. 

The arena was filled to full capacity, you had never seen it like this before. The voices filled the air as everyone speculated about what they were about to witness. You looked down at the ring. You saw Zuko, he was taking a knee, facing away from his opponent and covered in the royal banner. This was customary before an Agi-Kai. He looked strong and confident from what you could see. He was facing towards you, but looking at the ground. You hoped he would look up and see you before it started. 

Around the Arena sat the Honored Guests. You saw Iroh, and the War Council, you saw some upper Elites that frequented the Pleasure House, and you saw the Princess hurriedly take her seat next to her uncle. 

You looked towards his opponent, also on one knee and covered by a banner. You couldn’t tell which War Council general it was. You hoped whoever it was was old and frail, and that Zuko’s youth and strength would win out. 

The Announcer began to call. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, you are all here to witness a historic Agni-Kai.” 

You stared at Zuko intently as the Announcer continued. 

“This is a Challenge-based Duel. The Challengee being Prince Zuko of the Royal Family, son of Fire Lord Ozai, Grandson of Fire Lord Azulon, and Crown Prince to the Fire Nation Empire. He has accepted the Challenge.”

The crowds roared. This was historic indeed. 

_ Look up, Zuko, look up at me!  _ You pleaded in your head. 

“The Challenger being the honorable General Bujing of the High War Council. This challenge was issued under the pretense of ‘Failure to Properly Honor Rank, and Critical Disruption of Fire Nation Affairs.”

Now that both participants had been announced, the Prince began to stand. He lifted his eyes to the crowd, and found you, smiling down at him. For a brief moment you locked gazes, and he smiled back. He seemed so full of confidence and vigor. You believed he could actually win. 

As he turned to face his opponent the announcer continued. 

“Stepping in as the Champion for General Bujing, and issuing the greater challenge under the pretense of ‘Insubordination,’ is… wait…” The announcer fumbled on his words. 

The opponent stood up, letting the banner be carried off by the wind. He turned. 

The whole crowd gasped in collective awe and horror. 

Your heart sank. Your body trembled. 

Mona looked on in shock. 

Zuko fell to his knees. 

The Announcer continued. 

“The Champion being…. Fire Lord Ozai himself….” He didn’t seem to believe it either. None of this could be real. 

The solemn gong tone rang out over the arena signaling the beginning of the Duel, but Zuko didn’t move. His words echoed for all to hear. 

“Please, Father. I only had the Fire Nation’s best interest at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!”

“You will fight for your honor.” Ozai’s wickedly stoic voice carried through the air. 

“I meant you no disrespect! I am your loyal son!”

“Rise and fight Prince Zuko!” Ozai walked slowly forward.

You knew Ozai well enough to know that he would not show mercy. You know Zuko well enough to know he wouldn’t fight. 

Tears started streaming down your face as you tried to contain yourself. 

_ What have I done?  _

“I won’t fight you!”

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.”

Mona tried to shield you from the sight, but she wasn’t fast enough. You saw all of it. Ozai took his stance and a white-hot burst of flame shot out from his fingertips, searing the prince’s face in a merciless attack. It only took one move to knock Zuko out of the ring. He screamed at the pain, and the crowd gasped again in disbelief. Hundreds looked away at the disturbing sight. You felt like you wanted to wretch. 

Ozai held up his hand to stop the healers from immediately tending to Zuko and just stood there watching him for a few moments as he whimpered and cried in pain. You could see even from here that he was severely burned on his face. He curled in a ball and tried to hide his wound. 

After a few sickening moments, Ozai spoke again. 

“You are no son of mine. You have no honor. You are hereby banished until the day you can earn back your title, and prove to me and everyone here that you are a  _ true  _ prince of the Fire Nation. Until that day, you are forbidden to return.” 

With that Ozai turned away, allowing the healers to attend to Zuko. Though the Agni-Kai was over, many still remained in the stands, unable to move from what they just witnessed. 

“He’s sick!” You let out in a hoarse voice to Mona. “He is sick and twisted and evil!” You began crying, hugging her tight.

“I knew he wasn’t fair or just…” Mona whispered, “but I didn’t know until today that he was truly  _ cruel.”  _

**************************************************************************************

After the Agni-Kai Mona took you back to the Pleasure House and let you stay in your room for the rest of the night. You wanted nothing more than to see Zuko, to say you were sorry, to comfort him in his pain, to run off together. But you knew that if Ozai sentenced him to banishment then he wouldn’t wait around to make him leave. You guessed Zuko was probably on a ship that very night. 

The next morning you found out you were right. Mona told you that the Prince was gone. He was given a single out-dated Fire Navy ship, a crew, his uncle, and sent on his way. Apparently Iroh volunteered to be his ‘Supervision,’ but you knew really it was to protect him. He really didn’t deserve this. Honestly, both his and Iroh’s absences would be felt. There were only a precious few good souls amongst the upper echelons of the Fire Nation, and so many of them had left in the last few years there were barely any left. 

After Mona told you the news she allowed you another day to process. She tried her best to comfort you, to tell you it wasn’t your fault and that this is all due to the mad ravings of an evil dictator, but it didn’t do much to help. The fact of the matter was, whether it was your fault or not, if you hadn’t encouraged Zuko to speak out, he would still be here, unscarred, and so would Iroh. You may not have wounded Zuko but you gave Ozai the weapon to do so. 

You laid in your bed for hours, staring at the ceiling. You went through phases of sobbing, screaming in anger, trying to hatch plots to escape with Mona. Your emotions were all over the place. Most of all you felt like you didn’t want to be here any more, and that none of this was fair. This was one of those days you wished your mother would have just drank the  _ whore’s tea  _ after your father had lain with her and spared you this existence. 

You have had a lot of those days lately. 

As night began to fall and sleep was finally starting to claim you at last, you thought you heard the sound of rushed footsteps heading for your door. You half-believed it had been the beginnings of a dream, when Mona burst through with a panicked expression on her face. You sat up. 

“Mona what is -“ She cut you off. 

“We have to go!” She shouted, grabbing a trunk and beginning to fill it with your things. “We have to go NOW.” 

“What is going on?” You began to fill with fear. This was  _ not  _ like her. 

“There is no time to explain!” She shouted again. “Grab what you can!”

“Mona you are scaring me!”

“Leili has sent a message, a warning, we have to go!”

“Who is Leili?” You asked, beginning to grab some things to pack. 

“She is the favorite mistress of the Firelord, she lives in his quarters, you have never seen her, she is never allowed to leave. She wouldn’t risk sending out a message if it wasn’t dire.”

“What did she say? How did she send it to you?”

“Not important Sira!” She quipped. “I’ll explain it all when we get to safety, I know a man, the man that helped Jeong-”

The door burst open again with three guards. One of them you recognized, the one that had taken you to Ozai before. 

“You are coming with us, whore.” The cruel one said, stepping in to grab you. 

“No!” Mona stood in front of you with her hands up. 

“Move, bitch!” The guard shouted, striking Mona in the head, causing her to land on the floor unconscious. 

“Mona!” You shouted, leaning to help her, but the guard forcefully pulled you back up, yanking you away. You were dragged down the hall with the sight of Mona lying helpless on the floor filling your mind. 

You desperately wanted to escape, you thought about using your fire bending, but you knew you were outmatched three to one, and it would only make matters worse. 

“You really did it this time girly.” The guard coo’d at you with a sick smile on his face. The other two remained silent. 

You were dragged through the halls down the familiar paths of the palace, and dropped off at that looming ornate door. The guard knocked once, and the small manservant answered, escorting you through the Royal Quarters and to the Fire Lord’s chambers. It was all going so fast. 

The manservant opened the door just barely enough for you to fit through and motioned you in. You had no choice. Suddenly you were in this room again, alone, with the Fire Lord. 

You felt nothing but fear. It consumed you. You could barely stand, and your eyes were as wide as the full moon. 

He stood on the other side of the room facing away from you. He was staring intently at his fireplace. The flames within were rising and subsiding with his breath. 

It was quiet for a moment before he spoke. 

“Sira.” Was all he said. 

“Fire Lord Ozai.” You curtsied, or tried your best to while you were shaking. You forced your voice not to waiver.

“I am only going to ask you this once.” He said. “Come here.” 

Your feet slowly walked you over closer to him. You could feel the heat from the fireplace on your skin. He slowly turned to face you, his eyes were as cold as you saw them yesterday when he maimed his own son. 

_ If he was willing to cripple and banish his own child, what is he willing to do to you….  _ A harrowing voice asked in your heart. 

“Yes, Fire Lord?” You asked. 

“Did you influence my son, and cause him to show defiance at the War Council?” He asked. 

Time seemed to freeze. You knew there was a right answer, and a wrong answer, but which was it? Fear was all you could feel. 

_ There is no way he would know.  _ You thought to yourself.  _ There is no way. Zuko wouldn’t tell him about me, and our conversation was private. If I tell him about talking to Zuko…. he’ll kill me.  _

_ But what if he does know and I lie? Then he will kill me too.  _

You searched your mind for the right answer. You didn’t even know if the answer mattered, your fate may have already been decided. 

_ Do I tell him the truth or lie?  _

“I told you I would only ask once.” The Fire Lord repeated, his tone showing a hint of anger. “So answer me. Now.” 

_ What do I do!  _ You pleaded to the spirits. 

_ Do I tell the truth or lie?  _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllll fuuuuuuuuuuuukkk...... o.O


	10. Flashback: Suffering Will Be Your Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, this is no small amount of fucked up. Heed the warnings, this gets kinda dark. HEED. THE. WARNINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should she lie or tell the truth?

_ There is no way he knows…. unless he does…  _ Your mind battled with what to do.  _ Technically I didn’t *force* Zuko to be ‘defiant,’ I just encouraged him to be more like Ozai… _

For some reason you didn’t think the Fire Lord felt like hearing technicalities right now. 

_ I can’t debate forever…  _ You knew you were running out of time to answer his question. You reached deep inside amongst your fear and found whatever courage was left. 

_ Oh what does it matter!  _ You screamed in your head.  _ He has probably already decided what he is going to do. If these are my last moments… _

Your eyes definitely found his and locked with his intense stare. You weren’t backing down. 

_...I am not going to spend them as a coward.  _

“Yes.” Was all you answered. 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I told Zuko to speak out at the war council. I thought he should show strength and solidarity as the heir to the throne. I encouraged him to do so.” You answered honestly, and braced yourself. 

The Fire Lord flashed a brief look of surprise on his face before he settled back into his stoic grimace. For a second, you thought his lips almost played at a smile. 

“You just spared your own life, girl.” 

A wave of relief and confusion rushed over you as you continued to lock eyes with him. He went on. 

“I expected you to lie. Had you, I would have ended you immediately. I must admit, your spirit is...rare. For the second time you have eluded the predictable.”

You took a deep breath and finally broke his gaze. Telling the truth took all the resolve you had left. 

“Still.” He continued. “I specifically told you  _ not  _ to interact with or manipulate my son. I thought my feelings on that matter were made  _ abundantly  _ clear. That was a direct order, and you blatantly defied it. Because of your actions I had no choice but to teach him a lesson in honor and banish him. You have caused a great inconvenience to me, and disrespected me as your master. You may have escaped death today girl, but you haven’t escaped your sentence.” 

“My sentence?” You repeated hesitantly. 

“A trial of your spirit, let’s see how long it lasts.” A look of wickedness crossed his face. Dread and fear began to coil up inside you, feelings you were beginning to find more familiar than happiness lately.

“You will do as I say, exactly as I say, do you understand?” 

You nodded, trying not to lose yourself completely. 

“Good. Take off your clothes.” 

You began slowly removing your robes. Despite the fire in the hearth, the air felt cold against your skin. You removed every piece and folded them neatly to be placed on the floor beside you. You stood before him completely bare, and met his eyes again. 

His gaze snaked over your young body, lingering on your breasts, stomach, legs. Everything about him was predatory. 

“I am going to do what I please to you tonight. Whatever I please. I am going to hurt you. You will not fight. You will not run. Do either, and I will end you, but that is not the trial.” 

His words caused your hands to tremble, and goosebumps pricked at your skin. 

_ He’s just trying to scare you, he’s just trying to scare you, if he had wanted to kill you he would have done it already…  _ You kept telling yourself. You looked away from him and stared at the floor. You studied the patterns. 

“Your trial, girl, is not to  _ scream _ . Don’t cry, don’t whimper, don’t whine. You are to do everything I say without making a single sound. Scream, and it will be the last time you have a tongue. Do you understand?” 

You nodded. The words were so sickening they almost sounded foreign to you. 

“Good. Then we can begin with the sentence. Follow me.” He commanded. You hesitantly walked behind him as he went to a door, somewhat hidden behind a tapestry. He grabbed a key from his desk and unlocked the door, leading you into a hidden room. 

The room wasn’t large, and was painted in dark tones. Torches were lit every few spaces that cast eerie shadows against everything in the room. There were… straps, and tables, and devices all around it. It looked like what you pictured a dungeon to look like. In a way that’s exactly what it was. 

Everything in you wanted to run, but you knew what would happen if you did. 

_ Don’t fight. Don’t run. Don’t scream.  _ You desperately reminded yourself. Every muscle in your body was tense as he led you to the center of the room. 

He stopped and turned to face you. He took another deep drink with his eyes at your young body before he spoke. 

“Do you know what a six-tongued dragon whip is, girl?”

You shook your head ‘no’, trying to show as little emotion as possible. 

“One is hanging on the wall over there.” He motioned to a rack on one of the walls. “Bring it to me.” 

Without hesitation you walked up to the rack. There were multiple…. objects.. hanging on it, but only one had six strands. It was what looked like a leather-handled weapon of some sort, with six short whips attached to it, each with a small metal piece latched at the ends. 

You reached out to grab it. 

_ Stop shaking!  _ You commanded of your body, but it did not listen. 

The weapon was heavy in your hands. You studied its every detail as you walked it back to Ozai and placed it in his palm. 

“Good.” Was all he said as he inspected the weapon. He cracked it a couple times against the air. It was loud, and the metal pieces at the end let out a sickening clink every time he practiced. You just stood there and watched. 

_ Don’t fight. Don’t run. Don’t scream. Don’t show weakness.  _ You didn’t move or flinch as you looked at him. He appraised you with amusement. 

“Answer me something, Sira.”

“Yes, my lord?” 

“Do you hate me?” He smiled at the question in a dark way. 

_ The dark-hearted ones are the worst…  _ you remember thinking before. Was this a trick? You felt you were far beyond theatrics now. 

“Yes.” 

He scoffed, still smirking. 

“Do you want me?”

“No.” 

“You are resolved in your beliefs.” He said, walking closer. He lazily dropped the whip and closed the gap between you. “You are determined to hate me. You need to believe I disgust you. If I didn’t, it would be a betrayal of yourself.”

Bravery began to rise in you. You remembered how he looked at you when he took your flower, you remembered how you could manipulate him then. You braced yourself for pain, but you felt  _ safe  _ from death, as long as you didn’t run, and continued to be honest. 

“You  _ do  _ disgust me. You maimed and banished your own son. You hurt people every day.”

“All true, girl. He’s  _ my  _ son. They are  _ my  _ people. It’s  _ my  _ world. You’re  _ my  _ whore. Your hatred is delicious. What’s more tantalizing though is making you betray your own spirit, like before.”

Before you could respond, his firm hand flew up to grip your throat tightly. He walked you backward, colliding you into the wall. You felt his body press against you, you felt his lips and tongue ravage your neck, while his other hand explored your body. 

His touch was rough, his kisses along your neck were angry, nothing about him was gentle. 

_ I hate him.  _ You thought, as anger began to replace the fear in your heart. You felt the heat began to rise off of his skin as he took advantage of your body. His impressive weight leaned against you, pinning you in place as his rough fingers gripped at your breasts. He pinched and played with them, teasing your nipples into becoming hard. 

You felt his body begin to react as he pawed at you. His cock began to stiffen against your thigh, until it was rock hard and wanting. Despite your hatred, your fear, your determination, your dread, you felt your body begin to react in kind. 

_ No. Don’t!  _ You pleaded to yourself.  _ He is going to hurt you, this is a trial, he is trying to trick you… don’t react… don’t let him win… he disgusts you! He disgusts you! _

You felt tension begin to build between your thighs, and you hated it. 

_ Stop! _

You felt his lips and tongue grow hungrier. His teeth grazed your skin, biting down hard. Pain radiated from your neck, but you were sure there was no blood. 

_ Don’t scream.  _

“Kiss me, slave. Kiss the man you say you hate so much.” He said. 

“What?” You answered, confused. 

“Now.” 

You had no choice. You hesitantly looked up at him, and met your lips to his. He responded with renewed vigor, consuming you. His tongue forced his way between your lips and raked at your own. You responded, if only to make it less invasive on yourself. 

His sick passions came through in his voice, as carnal grunts and moans escape him. Your body was hot with it, while your mind fought against its cage. 

His hand reached between your legs and groped at your sex. His fingers slid between your lower lips, and played in your wet desire, toying with your clit. As with last time, he began a rhythmic dance against you, and pleasure began to rise from him despite yourself. 

Your breath grew heavy as his tongue and fingers both invaded your body. You let out a moan. 

_ Fuck!  _ You screamed in your head, hoping he knew the difference between a moan and a scream. 

“Mmm.” He hummed, breaking his kiss and smirking at you. His hand left your slick slit and gripped your hair tightly, pulling you forward. He dragged you to the center of the room again, and forced you on your knees. 

Still gripping your head, he suddenly forced his whole rigid cock in your mouth. He thrusted deep into your throat, stealing the breath from the body and filling you up. 

_ Don’t scream.  _

A guttural sound came from him as he slowly pulled himself out, just enough to give you a second of reprieve before forcing himself back in. Your body wanted to gag and cough, but it couldn’t. He continued to thrust deep into you, you lost count of the times, but your lack of air began to make you light headed, as if you were going to faint. 

Your hands drew up to his thighs, gripping them. You wanted to push him away and claw at him. 

_ Don’t fight.  _

Every time he pulled out just a little, you tried to force as much air into your lungs as you could. Pre-cum coated his tip, and let him slide even deeper. 

“Fuck…” he whispered as he filled your mouth. In one final thrust he kept himself in your throat, holding you there by your hair, near suffocating you before he fully pulled out. 

You coughed and heaved for air, carefully insuring you didn’t make any sound with your voice. 

“Good.” He praised, as he released your hair and walked over to a drawer. You watched him move. His frame was so  _ masculine.  _ Every muscle reacted to his movements and shone against the torch light. You stayed still in the center of the room. 

He took something small from the drawer and came back to you. He held something in front of your eyes. It looked like a thin, small reed. 

“Open your mouth.” He commanded. You obliged, still breathing deeply. He placed the delicate reed between your teeth. 

“Bite down, but not too hard. Hold it.” He instructed. You slowly bit down until the reed was firm between your teeth. 

_ What is he doing?  _

“Do not snap the reed. Hold it, and do not snap it, and remember, no screaming. You’re being punished for not following the orders of your master, your trial is to prove that you can.” 

You focused all of your energy on holding the reed between your teeth. It was delicate and thin, any extra pressure would snap it. You looked up desperately at Ozai, as he walked behind you out of sight. 

“Hands and knees girl.” 

You leaned forward, placing your hands on the floor, and spreading your knees. 

You heard him get on his knees behind you, and you could feel the heat off of his skin against your thighs and slit. You felt his hand on your back, drawing down, gripping your ass for a moment before continuing. He leaned forward, kissing your back as his hand began to flick at your clit again. 

Your muscles began to relax as he teased your body. You could feel yourself getting wetter every time he glided over your most sensitive spots. Pleasure began to build again, and you found yourself moving your hips against his hand, chasing the orgasm you hated that he was giving to you. 

His pace and rhythm would quicken and slow in perfect time to keep delaying your orgasm. You grew desperate, rocking your hips against him to try and force him to let you come. 

“Do you want to finish, Sira?” He asked, tauntingly. You did nothing, and didn’t respond. 

“Hmph.” He responded maniacally, as his pace grew relentless, causing an orgasm to tear through your body. You came  _ hard,  _ and the pleasure ripped through your veins and every space of your body. Your legs trembled, and you felt your come flow down your thigh as the sensation lingered. 

_ Don’t break the ree- _ you began to think to yourself, focusing on the delicate stick, before your felt Ozai thrust his entire length into you without warning. You stifled the sound you almost made, but barely, as your body adjusted to the feeling. This was the third time you had been with a man, but you still weren’t quite used to it, and you weren’t ready. 

“Delicious..” he purred as he relished being inside of you. He began to thrust hard, gripping your hips and forcing you into him, causing your whole body to jolt. 

All of your focus was on your mouth, and your jaw began to grow tired holding your mouth in place. Your task grew harder as he rode you, fucking and groaning as his own pleasure built up. 

He felt good inside you, you were so wet from your orgasm that your body was ready for him. He made you feel good, and your hips matched his timing. 

_ Honestly this hasn’t been that bad.  _ You thought to yourself.  _ He has got to finish soon…  _

“So fucking tight…” he moaned. “I took your first fuck, girl, and I will do it again.” 

As you tried to figure out exactly what that meant, he suddenly pulled out of you. His fingers reached between your lower lips and coated themselves in your come, bringing it up and rubbing it on your -

_ Oh no…  _ you barely had time to think as the tip of his cock positioned at the entrance to your ass. 

He began forcing himself slowly into you, tearing through your second virginity an inch at a time. The shock and pain caused your whole body to shake, your fists clenched, you wanted to let out a scream bite down. You felt his rigid cock invade you, as he thrust deep into your ass. 

You were  _ not  _ ready. 

You tensed up, you needed to react somehow. You panicked, and instead of breaking the read, you decided to just open your mouth and let it fall. It hit the wooden planks of the floor. 

“Tsk tsk tsk.” You heard Ozai as he stayed still inside you. “You didn’t break it, I’ll give you that. But you cheated. I told you to hold it. You didn’t do that either. Better than the last one though. The last one screamed, which you still haven’t done.” His words were solemn. One of his hands gripped your hip as he continued to move inside you.

“What to do, what to do..” he whispered, as he slowly pulled out half way and then forced it back in, causing another wave of pain to run over you. 

Tears filled your eyes, and every inch of your body shook, but you would not make a sound. 

He thrust a few more times, causing you to lean down and rest your head on your hands. You tried to think of anything else but the pain, but the humiliation. 

Then another shock to your system racked your body. A stinging, slicing pain struck your back, causing you to arch and your head to fly back. You felt droplets of blood forming on your soft skin. 

_ Don’t SCREAM!  _ You pleaded to yourself as tears began freely flowing down your cheeks. You had forgotten about the six-tongued dragon. 

He began thrusting and cracking the whip against you in time with each motion. You would have collapsed under the agony if it weren’t for him holding you up with one hand. Your mind sank deep inside itself. You found a cave within a cave to put your thoughts. You felt nothing but stinging pain on the outside, you used anger to fuel your resolve on the inside. You would not make a sound. 

Pools of blood began to form under you, as the blood from the leather and metal lashes flew down your back and hit the floor. You felt him grow harder and throbbing with every thrust, and the sounds he were making didn’t belong to a human man. By the time he finally stopped, you didn’t even know if you had flesh left on your back. There was a lot of blood. 

_ So much blood….  _ You stared at it as you looked beneath you. 

Ozai pulled himself fully out of you, and stepped away for a moment. You collapsed on the floor, breathing heavy. You faintly heard him take something from the wall, walk back up to you and set it down on the floor before standing in front of you. You were too exhausted to look up. You felt nothing but pain. 

“On your knees, slave.” He demanded. 

You slowly and carefully began to maneuver onto your knees for him, though every movement caused fresh tears to fall from your eyes. 

“You didn’t like the reed, so you’ll take this instead.” He said, gripping your jaw and forcing his cock into your mouth again. He thrust a few more times, gagging you again, before pulling out so only his tip was in your mouth. 

“Don’t swallow…. hold it in your mouth…” he commanded, as he let his head fall back. “Make me come, slave.” 

You began massaging his tip with your tongue and lips, and brought your hands up to massage his shaft. 

“Fuck.. yes… like that… good… aah…” he moaned. “Make me come!” He demanded. 

You sucked and teased and raked your tongue against him, drawing out a final thrust as his hot essence spilled into you. The taste was bitter, and made you want to wretch, but you held it in your mouth as he poured every drop into you. 

When he was done he gingerly pulled himself out from between your lips, and made your close your mouth. He had come so much that your cheeks were slightly full, and it was hard to keep it all in. 

“You are almost done Sira. Since you failed with the reed, you get this. Don’t let even a single drop spill out, or you’re losing your tongue. No way to cheat this time girl. Now stay.” He commanded. 

You held his essence in your mouth and tried to forget the blood that was pooling around you. You watched him grab the new thing he had set beside you. 

It was an iron rod with a handle on one end, and some kind of simble on the other. He stood in front of you as he took a deep breath. 

The room began to heat up as he focused his fire bending and willed white hot flames to come from his hand, heating the iron rod. After a few shots of fire from his palm, the iron began to glow red with heat. 

Your eyes grew wide. You shook your head. If it weren’t for the fact you were too weak to stand, this would have been the moment where you would have run. 

“Lay on your stomach and move your hair away from your neck.” He commanded. 

You did so at a snail’s pace, trying like hell to think of a way to avoid this, but you couldn’t. 

You laid down on the blood-stained wooden floor, with his bitter essence still coating your tongue, and moved your hair out of the way. 

You took a deep breath. 

You closed your eyes tight. 

He pressed the searing hot brand into the untouched skin on the back of your neck. 

This was a whole  _ new  _ pain you never could have imagined. He pressed hard, keeping it in place as it seared it’s mark into you forever. 

Your consciousness began to waiver. You were beginning to black out. 

_ Stay here. Stay alive. Stay awake. Don’t scream. Don’t run. Don’t fight. Don’t let him win.  _

It felt like an eternity that he held the iron to your neck. You didn’t move. You still didn’t make a sound. All of your focus was on staying awake. 

“Well.” He said, finally lifting the brand. “You never fail to amuse girl. I’ve only done this sentence once before, and she failed. I must admit, I am impressed. I hope you have learned some  _ loyalty  _ from this trial, because you could still be of use to me yet.”

He stared down at you. You stared at the blood on the floor. 

“Swallow now. All of it.” He commanded darkly. 

You did so, choking down the taste and the texture. That was at least one thing that didn’t hurt. 

“Open your mouth.” He commanded again. You obeyed, and he gripped your face as he inspected your lips and tongue to make sure you had swallowed all of it. He roughly let go of you and walked away towards the door. You collapsed in a heap on the floor. 

“You passed your trial. You’ll keep your life and your tongue today. Remember this lesson, slave.” Was all he said as he left the room, leaving you in your own blood and tears. 

Once you were sure he was gone, you closed your eyes and curled up. The pain was all over, you could feel nothing else. You held your knees to your chest and took a shuddered breath. 

For the first time since your trial began, the sound of your cries echoed through the room, as you finally released your voice. 

_ You will learn honor…  _ you thought to yourself. Feeling your hatred for Ozai growing in your deepest core. You remembered the sick words he said to Zuko during the duel that started all this. You didn’t know when, and you didn’t know how, but one day you would give him a taste of his own philosophy. 

_ One day Ozai…you will learn honor...  _

your words rang through your mind as you sobbed in your pain. 

_...and suffering will be your teacher.  _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day...


	11. Flashback: The Silent Lotus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira makes a friend, and considers an offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all for your continued support and positivity! Especially to my regular commenters! 
> 
> When this started I had no idea it would get such great feedback, and the enthusiasm inspires me to write on! I hope you continue to enjoy Sira's story, and keep letting me know what you think!

You don't know how long you laid, quietly crying, on the cold floor in your own blood. It felt like nights and nights had gone by. Tears fell from your face and mixed with the red on the wooden planks as you stared at the fire, unable to move. 

The fire crackled and sparked. The flames danced and flickered. It's warmth was the one comfort. Watching it over time calmed your mind into a numb void. 

_ If I could just… move my wrist, I could fire bend the flames to me… and light the whole palace ablaze, taking him with me…  _

Somber thoughts filled your head as you remained completely still. All you could feel was pain and the glow of the hearth. 

A mix of pure exhaustion and lack of will to fight slowly crept over your consciousness as you gave into sleep. 

……

"Wake up child…." A soft voice broke your silence. Your eyes flickered open. You were disoriented, forgetting where you were for a moment before your eyes met with a man leaning over you.

It was the palace manservant. He was old, and had a long, thin white beard. He wore scholar's clothes. His eyes were tired. 

"Wha…." Your voice was weak.

"Shhh…" he said softly, draping a light cloth shawl over your still bare body. You flinched as the material touched your back, a new wave of pain shattered the numbness. 

"I know it hurts.." his voice was a whisper. "Can you walk?"

You weakly nodded. He helped you stand, a laborious process that brought tears back to your stinging eyes. He looked at you with nothing but sympathy. You began walking toward the door, leaning most of your weight on him with every step. 

He near-carried you through the doors and down the halls at an agonizingly slow place. It must have been late, because the palace was dark. Shadows stalked and loomed on the walls as you passed by the night torches. 

Your consciousness was weak. You only barely knew what was going on and where you were. You knew you didn't think you trusted this man, you remembered the way he made you feel the first time you were here, but right now he was the only thing keeping you from collapsing back onto the floor. You couldn't tell if you were at ease with him at the moment, or if you were just too weak to question it. 

Limping down the ornate halls one step at a time in silence was growing unsettling. You cleared your throat. 

"Thank you…" you said weakly. 

"There is no reason to thank me child.. " the man said sadly. "A truly good-hearted man would have intervened. It is a coward who only helps when it's safe for him to do so." 

"Intervening probably wouldn't have helped me. All it would have done was get you imprisoned, or worse, and then who would I have around to carry me back to my room?"

"Even in the state you are in…" he looked at you in awe. "You still try to comfort others." His voice waivered for a moment before he gathered himself again. "We aren't going to your room yet." He informed. 

"Then where are we going?" You asked, confused. 

"There is someone who wants to see you. Someone who can help." 

You didn't have the energy to fight it, and even if you did, your spirit felt some comfort from this man. You weren't sure if that was wise, but for better or for worse, you trusted him.

You continued down dark paths and corridors for some time before stopping before a door. It seemed hidden away in the back of the palace, you didn't know where exactly, but you knew this was an isolated area that few others would ever tread. 

It's isolation didn't mean a lack of splendor though, the hallway and rugs and door itself were all equally ornate and beautiful, if not moreso. 

The manservant knocked lightly on the door twice before opening it and helping you walk in. 

The room was impressive and full of furniture. It was well lit by torches and a warm hearth. There was a bed and a half-dozen tall bookshelves filled with tomes and scrolls. In the center was a large copper bath tub, filled with hot water and plants of some kind. You could smell the scented oils and incense, and it drew you in. 

At first you didn't notice the window, nor the woman standing before it, gazing out on the night sky. 

"She's here." The man called softly. 

The woman turned to face you. 

She was tall and slender with a narrow face. Her hair was long, fastened in detailed braids with jewelry and flowers. It was a deep, earthy red, a color you rarely saw around here. She looked at you with kind eyes that had the hue of a forest. She wore long gowns of royalty, and everything about her was enchanting, though you had no idea who she was. You had never seen her before. 

She smiled at you with kindness, the same kind of smile you'd only ever seen from Mona. 

She began to talk with her hands. 

" _ Do you speak the language of silence?"  _

You recognized the motions of her hands and fingers for what they were saying. Many concubines learned it as a way to communicate around the pleasure house without the guests knowing what they were saying. Mona taught you when you were very young. It was a special language, only for women, only for us. 

"Yes." You answered out loud. The woman seemed pleased, and she walked closer. 

" _ You are Sira?"  _ She signed. 

"Yes."

" _ It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard such great things."  _

"Who are you? Why are you using the language of silence?" 

" _ I am Leili, and silence is the only language I know now."  _

Suddenly recognition crossed your mind. 

"Of course…." You whispered. "The Silent Lotus!" 

She nodded solemnly. You didn't know her by her name, but you knew her by her legend. All the girls did. "The Silent Lotus," the most beautiful mistress that ever was, who lives alone in the western tower. Forbidden by Ozai to be seen by any other man, she was his first chosen when he was 16, just like you were for Zuko, and he's kept her a secret ever since. Until this day, you didn't know for sure if she was real. 

She was around Ozai's age and embodied grace and beauty, her eyes were bright but tired. You could only imagine the life she's lived, it can't have been easy. 

" _ We only have a few hours until dawn, and you can't be here when the sun rises or we will be caught by the morning guard."  _ She signed before walking to the bath tub. The steam was rising off the hot water. She motioned to it. " _ But I have prepared this healing bath for you… once I heard from Mona that you didn't receive my warning in time, I knew you would need it…."  _ She looked away in sadness.

"Mona's okay!?" You asked in a panic.

She nodded. " _ Yes, she is okay. She sent me a note as soon as it happened I…"  _ her hands trembled for a moment. " _ I'm sorry I was too late Sira…"  _

"It's not your fault Miss Leili…" you said, walking up closer to the bath. It smelled nice, but the thought of hot water on your wounds made you hesitant. It was filled with plants and herbs, mostly what looked like seaweeds and kelps. "Is this going to hurt?" You asked her. 

" _ A little at first… but then it will feel much better. I grow these plants in my garden, they come from my homeland far away, they are very blessed at soothing pain and healing wounds."  _

You nodded. Before you removed your cloth, the manservant spoke up. 

"I will leave you ladies at peace, then." He said, turning away for your privacy and heading for the door. " Send for me when you are ready for her to be escorted back to her room. 

" _ Thank you Mr. Chao."  _ She signed. 

"Yes, thank you." You echoed, giving him a weak smile. He seemed shy at that, and then hurried away. You turned back to Leili. 

You took a deep breath and braced yourself. Nothing could be worse than what you just sent through, and you trusted her that it would help sooth your pain. You stepped into the hot bath and settled down in the water. You winced and shuddered at the initial shock, but after a few moments your wounds and brand began to feel more numb than painful. 

" _ You will need to stay in there for awhile for it to work. Would you like to be alone?"  _ She asked. 

"I really don't want to be alone…" you answered truthfully. "Will you stay with me?" 

She smiled, and brought up a pillow to sit on next to the tub. 

You both relaxed there in the quiet for a little while, just enjoying the smell of the oils and the feeling of being safe. 

"Thank you." You looked at her with sincere gratitude, as your muscles began to relax and the horror of the night started to fade away. 

She smiled and nodded. 

"Why don't you talk?" You asked, curiously. 

She looked away sadly for a moment, before she moved her hair to the side, revealing the back of her neck. You saw an old, faded version of the brand you had just received. For a moment you were confused, until the evil words of the Fire Lord crept back into your memory… 

_ The last one screamed.  _

Suddenly you understood exactly what had happened. 

"Why did you get a trial from Ozai?" 

_ "When he chose me as is first mistressany years ago, I tried to refuse him. I saw evil in his eyes, and I denied the honor. He wasn't pleased with that, he said he'd have me anyway, and so he did, and has ever since, but not before teaching me a lesson in honor."  _

"I know the feeling…" you said, forlorn. In the legend of the Silent Lotus, no one really knew why she was silent. You felt sad for her. You decided to change the topic. 

"So, where are you from? You said these plants were from your homeland?"

She smiled at the question. 

" _ I come from a forest, a swamp really, from the earth kingdom. My tribe is descended from ancient water benders that left the icy poles for the solace of the swamp."  _

"I have never heard of water benders outside of the northern and southern tribes!" You exclaimed. 

" _ Not many know of us. I wandered too far away as a foolish young girl, not much older than you, when I ran right into a fire Nation colony. I wouldn't show them where I came from, so they took me instead. I'd rather be taken than risk endangering my people."  _

"That is brave… I wish I was that brave." 

" _ Sira you are far more brave than you know."  _ She smiled. 

You remained like that for awhile, pleasantly talking with Leili as the healing water did it's work. She explained how she was never allowed to leave this part of the palace, but how over time she charmed Ozai into letting her have more and more freedoms, like her own garden and library. 

She talked about how she had never met your mother in person, but how they would exchange notes and letters through the birds around the palace, training them to deliver secret messages just like the military hawks did. Mona had 'introduced' them through letters, thinking they would get along, and how they became the best of friends that had never even looked at eachother. 

She explained that Mr. Chao was the head servant of the fire Lord, and how he was the only person allowed to tend to and look after Leili when Ozai wasnt around, probably because he was the only remaining palace eunuch, a practice that died a couple decades ago. 

You didn't want the night to end, and it seemed happily like it never would, until you heard two knocks on the door. 

"Oh…" you said sadly, knowing what it probably meant. 

_ "That's the signal that it's an hour until dawn… you have to go Sira, before the morning guard. Don't worry, we will meet again."  _

"Can I send birds?" You asked, climbing out of the bath tub. Your wounds were sore, but it seemed like in what was only a couple of hours they had healed as if it had been days. 

" _ Of course!"  _ She signed as she helped you into one of her robes. It was too long on you, but it was comfy. 

"Thank you Miss Leili." 

" _ Anything for the daughter of my best friend."  _ She smiled. 

You headed for the door, and waved her goodbye as you opened it. Mr. Chao was there to greet you. 

"Are you ready Sira?" He asked, kindly. "I can't take you all the way, as I cannot leave the western wing, but I can take you far enough for you to know the rest of the way on your own." 

You nodded, and hurried through the halls with him by your side. You were much more capable of walking now, and it went by quickly. 

"This is as far as I can go, do you know the way?" He asked worriedly. 

"Yes, thank you Mr. Chao." 

"Don't thank m-" 

You shook your head, interrupting him. "Thank you. " you insisted, before turning away and heading toward your room. 

The halls were still dark and very sparse of guards or people in the moments before dawn. You thought you were going to make it all the way without any more excitement, until you stopped dead in your tracks before your door. 

Sitting on the floor of the hallway outside your room with a half-empty bottle in his hand was Zhao. He looked at you in hazy surprise. 

"There you are…" he said slurred, as he shakily stood to his feet and steadied himself. You could tell he had been drinking, a lot. 

"You're drunk, Zhao." Was all you said. You didn't have the energy for pleasantries, not after tonight. 

"Yes…" he affirmed. "I wanted to see you. It's very important." 

You tried to contain your sigh. 

"What is it? Can it not wait til morning?" 

"It cannot…" he said, stumbling forward a bit, catching you on your shoulder for balance. When you flinched in pain at the sudden shock to your sore wounds, he looked at you worried. 

"What's wro-".. he stopped, as he moved your robes down a little, and gently pulled your hair away from your neck, revealing some of your wounds, and your burn.

A look of anger and confusion flashed across his face. "Who did this!?" He asked angrily. "I'll teach them a-..." He stopped. Somber realization fell upon his expression. "Ozai." 

It wasn't a question. You just nodded and looked away in shame. 

His fingers found your chin clumsily, and he gently turned your face toward him. 

"Sira.." he said in a voice different from his own. He looked almost defeated. 

"Sira I know I am not a good man. I know I am far from what you deserve, far from what you want…" he confessed. 

"But I am skilled. I can protect you… I can earn us a good living, a good life… I can provide for us…. Far away from here…" his eyes searched yours. 

"What are you saying?" You asked. 

His hand fell from your chin and he looked away for a moment. 

"I have been assigned a command suddenly… a mission to patrol the colonies… a five year post from General Iroh. We set sail first thing in the morning, in a few hours. I only found out about it today, I was going to tell you, but then all that nonsense with the fool prince and…" he shook his head. 

"I don't know what the failure of Ba-Sing-Se stands to gain from giving me this command, but I know it's to send me away for some reason, and I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you." 

"I still don't understand…" you looked at him, you had never seen him like this before. 

"We could leave…." He looked at you with hope in his eyes. "We could run away, get on a merchant ship, escape to the colonies… it wouldn't be a glamorous life… but it would be simple, it would be safe… I could provide for you, for our family, we could raise our children in the country, happy, away from all this.. politics, lies, chaos…." He looked at your wounds. "Safe from injustice, slavery, pain…" his voice was sincere, as if for the first time in his life he was allowing himself a moment of clarity.

He fell to his knees before you, dropping the bottle and grabbing your hands in his. 

"I know I'm not… perfect.. I know I'm not the man you want, I know you don't love me. But I can make you happy, I can make you comfortable, I can give you a life better than this, and happy memories. You'll never have to be hurt again… Maybe you could learn to love me as I love you… with time, Sira. Please, just come with me. Be my wife." 

You stared at the man before you. You never would have guessed you'd ever be hearing this from him. Despite the drinking, you felt that he was actually serious. At least in this moment, right now, he seemed genuine. 

You considered his words as he looked at you longingly. He was awful, annoying, creepy, arrogant, and when you laid with him you caught a sense of darkness too, but even with all that, he was far better than Ozai. You fully believed Zhao would never hurt you, and you did truly think all he wanted was a simple life with you. As much as you hated Zhao, now that Zuko and Iroh were gone, and Ozai had it out for you… maybe his offer might be the best option. 

"Sira…" he pleaded, holding your hands tighter. "Please." 

As you seriously almost considered accepting his proposal, one word rang out in your mind. 

_ Mona.  _

She would never leave you behind, and you couldn't do it to her. She needed you, and you'd be here until she was gone, or until you could both leave together. 

You shook your head. "I'm sorry Zhao…" you said, almost feeling truly sad for him. "No. I can't." You pulled your hands away. "I can't." You repeated, as you hurriedly escaped into your room, shutting him out and locking the door behind you. 

You heard a deep, shuddering sigh on the other side of the door, and the sound of him crying for a moment into his hands. 

After a few minutes, the sound stopped, and you heard him stand up and brush off his uniform. 

"If that's how you want it.." he said under his breath, not knowing you could hear. 

"Then so be it." 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is all becoming more flashback than main story (I make this up as I go along) hope that's okay! Next chapter is a mason story chapter for sure!


	12. Chapter Four: Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira has a reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

"It's been a long time indeed, Admiral Zhou." You said as calmly as you could, while holding your defensive stance. 

You hadn't seen him since his proposal that fateful night. He was gone that morning, never to be seen again until now. 

You didn't know what to expect from him. You were prepared for anything from tearful confessions to an all-out attack. 

He stopped and stared at you, with no discernable expression on his face. He held a loose stance, with his arms held behind his back, and had an Admiral's posture. 

He looked back at his men. 

"The lot of you, go search the area for the Avatar and the rest of his party. He can't have gone far." He commanded. 

His men scattered into the woods, leaving you both on the banks of the river, locking eyes. 

"So, this is where you ended up." He stated flatly. 

"Seems so." 

"There is quite the price on your head back home. Whatever you did, you really ignited the wrath of our  _ great  _ leader." 

" _ Your _ leader maybe. And yeah, choosing not to be his slave will do that to him."

"Oh, it's more than that." Zhao began to walk forward slowly. "You don't have the bounty of an escaped slave, you have the bounty of a high traitor. I haven't figured out why, but he wants you brought in… dead." He emphasized the last word. 

That caught you off guard. You knew there would be a price, but you thought for sure he'd want you alive, to be tortured and used and taught more lessons. 

"Dead?" You repeated, more shock spilling out of your voice than you intended. 

"Oh yes." He purred darkly. You began taking steps back as he slowly advanced. "There are fliers all over the capitol with your pretty little face all over them. People have taken to calling you all sorts of titles… 'Sira the Wanted,' 'Sira the Traitor,' 'The Runaway Whore.' Not very creative for my taste…" he continued. "My personal favorite is 'Sira; Lady of the Brand.' I coined that one myself." 

You glared at him with a deep hatred. 

_ Don't lose your focus, he's trying to taunt you.  _

"It seems word hasn't gotten to the colonies about the price on your head." A smirk played at the corners of his mouth. "I'd remedy that, if, of course it weren't for the fact that it's not going to matter anymore once I'm done with you." 

"Planning on collecting that bounty then, Zhao?" You readied your bending energy for a fight. Your hands raised defensively. 

"Oh, no." He said calmly. "I'm not concerned with money and prizes, not when it comes to you." His eyes met yours and looked deep into you. "I have no intention of killing you at all. You owe me a life by my side. There was an easy way to do it, and a hard way. I once offered you the east way, and you rejected it. So be it. Now only one way remains Sira. You're coming with me, and you're staying with me. I told you once, and I've always meant it…" 

Suddenly his eyes turned to rage and he stepped forward, flames flying from his fingertips toward you in a swirl. You artfully dodged, twirling away from the heat before locking eyes with him again.

" _ You're mine _ !" He shouted, going on the offensive. Masterful steps and strikes followed, wave after wave of suppressing fire came from his attacks with no breaks for breath in between. 

All you could do was dance and duck around them, you had no time to defend or strike back, his pace was too quick. It occurred to you amongst the chaos that in all the time and all the ways you have known him…

_ You've never seen him fire bend…  _ and it was a challenge. 

Sweat and fear started to take over as you brushed off near hit after near hit of his relentless advance. You finally made a mistake and broke your stride, backing up as far as you could go, colliding with a tree. 

Zhao smiled amidst his madness and moved to to capture you, when suddenly a cone of fire flew past, attacking your adversary. 

Zhao was caught off guard in the moment, and instead of dodging he simply maneuvered the fire into the forest, catching the brush ablaze. 

"Stop this at  _ once!"  _ You heard Jeong Jeong's voice from behind you. 

"My old master…" Zhao mused. "So, traitors and deserters flock together I see. Tell me, is the Silent Lotus here too? I can catch three criminals for the price of one, oh, how fortuitous would that be?"

You stopped in your tracks and looked at him wide-eyed. You held up your hand to Jeong Jeong, stopping him from advancing. 

"Wait!" You shouted, turning your attention back to the crazed Admiral. "Leili escaped?" 

"Oh, she made quite the  _ grand  _ exit…" he explained. "She took half the pleasure house with her, destroyed the naval docks in the process. It seems you have started a trend, 'Lady of the Brand.'" he mocked. "But it doesn't matter. They're all doomed to fail! Unlike you though, their lives  _ won't  _ be spared. I'll end them all myself." He laughed cruelly. 

While he was distracted, you suddenly felt a form grip on your arm, and a pop of smoke covered the air. Jeong Jeong was pulling you through the haze into the woods, whispering for you to follow. 

As you drew further into the brush you heard the angry calls from behind. 

"No!" Zhao shouted. "No! It's a damned trick! You coward!" 

His voice faded with every hurried step you both took into the woods. 

After at least a mile or so of running as fast as you could, Jeong Jeong finally slowed down, huffing and breathing heavily. 

"We lost him." He stated, leaning forward and catching his breath whole you did the same. 

"Neat trick.." you praised. 

"It has it's moments." He smiled. 

Suddenly you grew happy and smiled back. "I can't believe Leili got out! I knew she would one day!" 

"Yeah, she did." He responded, but his tone didn't match yours. 

"You know? Wait, how?" 

"I still have friends, allies, eyes in the capitol and palace that report to me." He explained. "They told me when you escaped five months ago. Leili escaped with a bunch of the ladies from the house a few weeks ago now." 

"That's great! Maybe we can find her!" 

"Maybe." He sounded distracted. 

"What is it?" You were almost afraid to ask. 

"It's not her." He comforted. "I'm glad she escaped, I'm sure whatever she is doing it's good for the cause. It's what happened  _ after  _ she left…" 

"What? What happened?" 

He just shook his head dismissively, and waved you off as he caught his breath. 

"Tell me Jeong Jeong." You insisted. 

He sighed deeply. 

"You are just like your grandmother." He said, giving in. "After she escaped, Ozai imprisoned and interrogated the one person that knew her best, her longest friend through all those years of captivity, the only one that could have helped her prepare her plan to escape." 

"Mr. Chao…." You said, dread creeping into your voice. 

"Exactly. The palace butler. He was brought into Ozai's custody and questioned personally…" 

"Tortured." You corrected. A look of sympathy crossed Jeong Jeong's face, followed by a telling nod. Tears began to well up in your eyes, a familiar sting. 

"It was a long interrogation. It lasted days. Eventually, he was…" he paused. "Eventually he was executed." 

"No…" you felt sick. Sadness and grief came over you. 

"There's something wrong though. With this whole…" Jeong Jeong continued. "He wasn't executed publicly. There were no witnesses. It was fmdone swiftly and swept under the rug. Really uncharacteristic of Ozai, who likes to make public  _ examples  _ of things like this.

Whatever he confessed or told the Fire Lord about… Ozai doesn't want it getting to the public. What's more… it was only  _ after  _ his interrogation with Chao that he increased both you  _ and  _ Leili's bounties to High Treason status. All the escapees actually. After Chao's execution, Ozai wanted all of you  _ dead,  _ and he won't say why. That's way too high a price for some runaway brothel concubines…" he continued. "Whatever Chao said, it  _ scared  _ Ozai. There's only one explanation." 

"Ozai has a secret…" you answered, wiping the tears from your face and trying to focus. "He has a secret… and Chao knew about it. And if Chao knew about it…" 

"So does Leili." Finished Jeong Jeong. 

"I won't let Mr. Chao's sacrifice be in vain…" you said resolutely. "I'll find out what he knew… I'll find Leili.. and whatever this secret of Ozai's is… he won't be safe from it."

"It had to have been serious bec-" Jeong Jeong was cut off by the sound of blasting wind through the trees. Suddenly Aang came running through. 

"Hurry! Zhao's taken care of… For now! All of his boats are on fire and he's real mad.." Aang ran past you. "Come on! We have to get to Appa quick! Katara and Sokka are already there let's  _ go!"  _ He formed an air scooter and rode toward Appa. 

"Yeah come on, we can talk about this later!" You grabbed Jeong Jeong's hand and started to lead the way. 

"No, you go Sira." He pulled away. 

"Not without you!"

"I have my camp and my followers to tend to." He explained. "I can't just leave them. Besides, I have some business to attend to about… all this. I know how to find you… Don't worry, little lotus…" he patted your head with a smile. 

"We'll meet again. Soon." 

Suddenly another puff of smoke filled the air, and with that he was gone. 

There was nothing left to do but run towards Appa. Finally you broke through the clearing. 

"There she is!" Sokka pointed. "Get up here!" 

You clammered into the saddle and held on tight as the words 'yip yip's filled the air and you took off from the ground. 

From the sky you could see the destruction from the battles. The forest was blazing, the river boats were ashy husks in the water, the camp was in shambles and surrounded by fire Nation troops. 

You rolled back and collapsed on the floor of the saddle. You stared at the clouds in the air and tried not to think about it. 

_ Just let us be carried away from it all…  _ you thought to yourself.

_ Mr. Chao. My friend. My savior.  _ You sent words to his spirit.  _ You really do deserve it this time, even though I know you'd still argue with me. Truly though… I hope you are at peace...and..from the bottom of my heart, _

_ Thank you, for everything.  _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P Mr. Chao.


	13. Flashback: Unorthodox Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira bonds with her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *THIS IS FLUFF AND SENTIMENT FOR YOU GUYS, NOT STORY PERTINANT, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS FOR THE STORY IF YOU LIKE*
> 
> I know that I say stuff like this a lot, and it probably* gets annoying, but I am a mushy and sentimental person and I am not ashamed! Haha
> 
> I would really like to truly express how endearing it is that so many of you go out of your way to tell me how you feel about this story. I only started writing fanfic a few months ago as a means to have a creative outlet during the Covid shutdowns. I have always loved writing, and have always wanted to do *something* with it, but never had the confidence to put it out there. 
> 
> I know that original characters, attempts at deeper plot lines with already beloved fandoms, etc. are all risky story-wise as well. 
> 
> You guys, especially my commenters, have been so heart-warming (a strange adjective to use for a smut writer, I know, but it's true,) with your support and positivity. Saying how you love my characters, commenting on how you like the plot, and how you enjoy the writing style, and showing me your excitement and enthusiasm is so very rewarding and wonderful. It all encourages me to write on! What started out as a side-hobby to 'see where it goes' has turned into a very enjoyable and substantial part of my free time and life. I plan to expand, and write on, all because of your kind words and great encouragement! I work full time and am attending online schooling, so I don't have as much time as I'd like, but rest assured, my writing has become my baby and will be given sufficient attention from here on out!
> 
> I plan on expanding to other platforms and trying to get myself more out there in the coming months, and I look forward to sharing more of this story and many more in the future with all of you. As long as I have fans like you, I am so very inspired to pursue this passion of mine, and may even revisit some old novel ideas I have had in the past.
> 
> I sincerely hope you all continue to communicate and interact with me. I find that the most fun and rewarding part of all of this, and it's what drives my inspiration. I get giddy every time I get a new notification for kudos and comments, and I love talking with you all. 
> 
> Thanks for you support, and for dealing with my overly-happy-mush-giddiness all the time. Y'all are the real MVPs. I swear I don't act like a human care-bear in real life, it's just that you people make me happy and bring out my care-bear-ness. <3
> 
> Now back to our regularly scheduled dark-ass shit. Thank you.

_ It happened in the middle of the night.  _

It had been over a year since your trial with Ozai, since then, things have changed. You learned to communicate with Leili and Mr. Chao through the palace birds, writing messages and tying them with ribbon. Better yet, Leili told you of a secret pathway through her garden that, once you were brave enough, you began to use to go visit her. 

As the months went on you would visit her often, every other night even. You would wait for a message saying Ozai had retired for the evening and Leili was free for guests. Sometimes Mona would even come with you. The four of you would drink tea, tell stories, and casually plan little schemes to sabotage the fire lord. 

Since your trial you had gotten back into the good graces of Ozai, who returned to trying to use you as a spy against the elites. You saw regular guests, but whenever there was a half-decent one among them that was brave enough to speak out against the Fire Lord in hushed whispers with you, you could never bring yourself to forsake them. 

Instead you began corrupting Ozai against his most loyal elites. Whenever a true loyalist would come to your bed, you’d take anything they said and try to find a way to subtly turn it into something you could use against them. With the elites that weren’t satisfied with the current regime, you tried your best to gain their favor and keep their trust. 

As months went by you could tell Ozai was trusting you more and more. You kept your head down, you figured out when to appease, when to be blunt, how to navigate the waves of his personality. You hated him more than anything, and told yourself this was all just biding your time. Corrupting him against elites may seem small, but it could grow into paranoia, or cause him to make a mistake. There wasn’t much you could do for the cause in the pleasure house, but you would do what you can to move against your enemy. 

He would often use your body when you saw him every week to report. You’d placate him, secretly seething. Ever since your trial he had never been nearly as cruel. Your wounds from that night faded into scars against your soft skin, and your brand was a shame that you would hide with your hair. Sickeningly, your scars seemed to be attractive to Ozai, who would often comment on your ‘strength’ and ‘resiliency’ while in the throes of passion, and would take you from behind, so he could see the aftermath of his work. 

You learned in your bonding with Leili that she loathed him just as much, if not more than you did. He had kept her to himself since she was your age, never letting her leave this side of the palace. When she tried to deny him, he put her through the same trial, only she cried out, and he sliced out her tongue. For over 20 years he has kept her in this wing of the palace, the only friends she has had have been the ones willing to send her messages, even fewer the ones willing to visit her through her garden. You learned your mother was one of those friends, her ‘most precious friend of all,’ Leili would often say. 

Over the months you got to know Mr. Chao as well. No longer scary, you saw him as a humble and wise friend. He had had a hard life, and rose to his position as royal butler through pure intelligence. He was a man with many friends and allies, he had eyes and ears and connections spanning all four kingdoms. He traded in whispers, dealings and secrets. He called the court spymaster an ‘imbecile’ on a regular basis, and he knew so many things. He was kind to you, and was a valuable ally in the hushed rebellion of your small group, but mostly he lived with a guilty conscience. He would never forgive himself for taking you to Ozai. He would often apologize, and would never allow you to thank him for anything. He would say that his position required that he keep his status, and that he often had to swallow his own values for a greater cause, but it was never easier to sleep at night. No matter how often you told him that you forgave him, and that he was a cherished friend now, he seemed as though he would never forgive himself. 

In all the things and secrets and knowledge that he knew, you once got up the courage to ask him who your father was, but he said that was the one secret he didn’t know, and didn’t want to. 

“When too many people know the same thing, it ceases to be a secret, and loses its power as a tool. No one, not even  _ I,  _ should know  _ all  _ the valuable secrets out there. That one stays with Leili, Mona, and the man himself,” he preached. You accepted his answer begrudgingly. 

All things considered, the last year wasn’t all that awful. Ozai was Ozai, you had to deal with him. Some of the elites were difficult, but nothing would ever compare to what you had already been through, and you revelled in the truth that you were poisoning their leader against them every time they saw you. 

You missed Zuko and Iroh, and often wondered where they were and what they were doing. You wished you could see Zuko and tell him that you were sorry, but you didn’t think you’d ever have that chance again. At least your two new friends helped ease the pain, and you would always have Mona. 

_ It happened in the night.  _

This evening was just like any other. You snuck through the garden, full of foreign plants and flowers from Leili’s homeland. You greeted her, chatted a bit, and then engaged in a game of Pai Shou with Mr. Chao. 

“Unorthodox move.” He noted as you placed one of your tiles. 

“I have to be unorthodox with you, or I’ll lose.” 

Leili smiled and nodded at that. 

“Well, I am about to teach you that just because it is unorthodox doesn’t necessarily mean it will work!” He smiled, moving his tile and securing the victory. 

“Well, that’s the last time I try the unbeaten path…” you sighed. 

“That’s not the moral.” Mr. Chao chided. “If you had been predictable, you would have lost. You tried to be unpredictable, and you still lost, but in less moves than you would have if you had been predictable. The moral is; trying something new may not always work the first time, but the fact remains that you must try. Find more and better ways to be unorthodox, and soon no one will know how to play against you.” He smiled. 

“Do  _ you  _ understand  _ anything  _ he says?” You teased, asking Leili, who just smiled and shook her head. 

“ _ Whether you understand or not, you should listen, he knows much.”  _ She signed. 

“Yes yes yes…. Easy for you to say, you have known him a lot long-...” You trailed off, being distracted by Leili’s sudden change in expression. 

Suddenly she had a troubled look on her face, and was just staring off into the distance, as if she was lost miles and miles away. It didn’t seem like she was hearing you, it almost seemed like she wasn’t even here anymore. 

“Is she okay?” You asked Mr. Chao. 

“Lady Leili is very connected to the spirits and their world…” he explained. “She often dreamwalks, receives messages, steps into the spirit world without meaning to. Sometimes it comes in strange instincts and feelings.” He just watched her. “It usually passes quickly. The spirits and their mysteries are one secret I will never understand.”

You watched her for a few moments, growing increasingly concerned when she didn’t move. You knew she had strange dreams, and could sometimes change others’ dreams, and she often felt unwell from her sensitivities… but this one was strange. 

_ It happened in the night.  _

Suddenly she snapped back and looked at you directly in the eyes. Hers were wide. 

“ _ Something isn’t right.”  _ She frantically signed, immediately standing up and going to her window. Almost in perfect time, a palace bird came fluttering to her with a ribbon and a message. She took it and read, spinning around with worry on her face. 

“ _ Go Sira, go back home now! Go through the garden, as fast as you can!”  _

“What is it? You are scaring me…” You felt sick, you knew something was gravely wrong for her to act this way. 

“ _ Go!”  _ She grabbed your arm and ushered you to the garden. 

“ _ It’s Mona!”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	14. Chapter Five: Scrolls and Scrolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira and Sokka have a heart to heart!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Jeeze, sorry guys! I promise I am alive, and I have not forgotten about Sira, and we are back on track for regular chapter releases. Woot-Woot!
> 
> Suffice it to say, my life’s been nuts since mid October, and it finally just calmed down again. Brand new career, cross-country relocation, finding a place to live, Covid still being a thing, then the holidays hit, and man, holy wow. 
> 
> BUT. I still love you guys and I am so excited and ready to get back to my writing passions. I hope not too many of you have abandoned me. I swear I’m here and alive ! 
> 
> Now back to our regularly scheduled program. 
> 
> That all being said, all I have for you this week is a slice-of-life dialogue between Sira and Sokka. But more awesome plot bits and steaminess is in the future, never you worry your little hearts about that. <3

Today was the day you reached the Northern Water Tribe. It had been impressive and welcoming ever since you all arrived. They greeted Aang and the group warmly, even treated with a feast and performance. You hadn't mentioned you were fire nation yet… just to be safe. 

They set you all up with your own luxurious rooms, which was fantastic and much appreciated. You were currently enjoying the solace of having your own space after a long day. It was all so nice except for one little thing.

_ It's….so…..fucking…..cold!  _ You thought to yourself as you shivered under your tiger seal hide blankets. 

The room was splendid. The whole damn  _ city  _ was magnificent. The buildings, the clothes, the decor… it all had an other-worldly feel to it. A part of you loved it, it was like nothing you had ever seen. 

Another part of you sincerely  _ hated  _ that  _ all of it  _ was made of  _ ice.  _ You shivered again. 

_ Breathe deep, keep your fire inside… in through your mouth, out from your nose… _ you tried to remember a fire bending warming technique you had heard of before. It didn't seem to be working. 

You looked around your room. It was quite dark, but you could make out the shape of your table, the hushed torches, the sculptures. You reached your hand out to caress the wall by your bed. 

_ Yep. Ice. Why not? Why not make the literal walls ice too. Breathe deep. Keep your fire inside. Feel your warmth from your heart out.  _

Your attempts at meditating the cold away were answered by the sound of your teeth chattering involuntarily. 

_ Fuck this.  _ You thought, as you heard a tentative knock at your door. 

"Uh…" you let out, not sure you even had heard what you heard. "Is someone there?" 

"Yeah uh… it's Sokka. I was… well… I… was wondering if… we could talk?" 

"Oh. Yeah, sure, come on in." You answered. This was highly unusual. You guys have talked and bonded by the campfires every night of course, but thinking about it now, you were pretty sure you had never been alone with him before. 

The probably-made-of-ice door slowly swung open. Sokka stepped in. He had light hide sleeping pants on, and no shirt, with his hair down. 

_ Woa.  _ You mused.  _ I've never seen his hair down.  _

He gingerly walked in, carrying a plate of cheese and fruit in one hand, and a lit lantern in the other. 

"Mind if I sit on the bed with this stuff?" He asked. 

"No, go ahead." You shifted to the side to make room. He sat the plate and lantern down on the bed and scooted himself up, half-sitting on it, almost like he was afraid to get too close to you. 

"So…" you led, grabbing a piece of cheese. "Something on your mind? Thanks for the food by the way." 

"Yeah no problem!" He nervous-chuckled as he took a bite of food too. "Yeah I uh. I was wondering if I could ask you something. Totally okay of course if you don't wanna talk… I just… I thought… ya know.. you know more about this stuff than me...and… uh…" his face was turning as red as the berries on the plate. 

"Ha…relax Sokka. Whatever it is I'm sure I don't mind talking about it, I can promise you I have been in more awkward situations, whatever the topic is."

"Yeah, ha… right yeah true…" 

"So spit it out then."

"Well I was just wondering if you had any advice about… like… girls…" 

"Advice about girls?" 

"Yeah.. well. I never seem to have great luck with girls." He admitted, letting out a heavy sigh. "I just.. I just don't. And I don't know if you saw the princess tonight? But she is just… well.." he looked dreamily off to some unknown distance for a moment. 

"Sira she is the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen, and I really don't wanna mess this up. I really want her to like me. For once, I'd like to impress the girl. So yeah… I was wondering if you had any advice." 

_ Well, that's adorable..  _ you thought to yourself. You felt touched he would come to you with such a thing. Clearly it was hard for him to be this candid with you about it. 

"You must really like this princess." You answered, trying to calm the atmosphere. 

"Haha!" He laughed, relaxing a bit. "You have no idea. So. Whatcha got?" 

You thought for a moment. 

"To be honest Sokka….I… I got nothin." You said honestly, looking him in the eyes. You were met with a stare of confusion. 

"...what??" He asked. "How do you have 'nothin'!? With your… life and… experience?" 

"Yeah well. If you want advice on how to placate, seduce, satisfy or lull a lonely but rich general or politician, then sure, I got plenty. But what you're asking about is real… so… no… I'm afraid I'm the very opposite of an expert on that." 

"What do you mean?" He still seemed confused, as he absent-mindedly munching on cheese. "You've been with tons of...well...I mean… you know…" 

"No, Sokka, I've been  _ bought  _ by tons of men. It's so different. They paid for a service that I provided. None of it was genuine… none of it was… well… it was just…. An act. It was fake. Everything I was for all those men and everything I did and said, it wasn't me, it was just my job. They didn't woo me or court me, they didn't care about me, they wanted a release, or a distraction, or.. just… wanted something from me. They saw me as a luxurious, expensive item that they would like to play with for awhile. See what I mean? It was all… Fake. I've never truly known any of those men.. And none of them have ever truly known me…. It was a mutually agreed upon Fassade. So.. no, I don't know how to.. I don't know how to do a relationship, I don't know how to date, or ask someone out, I don't know how to do it the  _ right _ way Sokka. I only know contracts and a trade off between goods and services." 

"Wow…" his voice sounded different. "So what you are saying is…. You've really never been with anyone you've  _ wanted _ to be with? Ever? Every single person you have been with has been chosen for you? You've never just… because you wanted to… With someone?" 

"Never. I guess…. In a sense…. In a certain way… I have less experience than any of you." 

"Yeah wow…" he thought on that a moment. "Well, not less experience than Aang or Katara, am I right? They have never been with  _ anyone."  _ He laughed. 

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Definitely." You responded, letting a giggle out from under your breath. Clearly he didn't know about Jet. 

"What… Are you hinting at something?" Suddenly his big brother voice kicked in. 

"No, no not at all. But I mean, what about you? How much experience do you have anyways?" 

"Well uh.. I mean…" his face turned red again. "There was a girl or two back at the village… we messed around…. But I think that was mostly out of a lack of options of other people our age… don't get me wrong it was fun, but… and then there was Suki… it was only once but WOW…. Just….. it was amazing…" his eyes stared off into the distance. 

"Anyways." He snapped out of it, looking you in the eyes again. "If it felt that great with Suki… then I really can't imagine what it would be like with Princess Yue… but uh, oh don't get me wrong! I'm not just thinking about… That… I like her for her… Everything! I just wanna hear her talk and… she's beautiful and graceful and smart and funny…" he went off daydreaming again. 

"See, yeah. Sokka you have way more experience being with people in a more  _ real  _ way than I ever have. So you got this. Just do whatever you did with Suki." 

"Ha, right." He laughed at that. "But really Sira… you haven't been with anyone you genuinely  _ wanted… EVER?" _

_ " _ I… I've had a kiss. Once. With someone I had feelings for. And I think I have been with a man that was in love with me… Maybe… possibly somewhere in him he felt like he loved me. But I didn't love him. So no. Never have." 

"Wow. Honestly…" Sokka paused for a moment and took your hand in his affectionately, meeting your eyes with his. "Sira… I'm genuinely sorry for that. You deserve to be with someone you  _ want  _ to be with back. When two people both want  _ each other  _ the same way it's…. Just….  _ Wow.  _ You deserve that. You really do. And I hope you get that someday. I mean you are gorgeous… I'm sure you will but… I mean… I…" he trailed off again, pulling his hand away and turning red. 

"Haha. Thanks Sokka. Really. I'm sure I will one day. But anyways. You. Go out there and grow some confidence and charm Princess Yue. You don't need my help at all." 

"Thanks Sira." He smiled, grabbing the now empty plate and lantern and scooting off the bed. "Honestly, thanks for hearing me out. I hope I didn't bother you coming to visit you like this…" 

"Not at all. Honestly it was kinda nice… To have an adult conversation. I love Aang and Katara but there's a lot you can't talk about around the *kids…. Ya know?" You winked to tease him. 

"Right! Exactly!" He agreed, heading for the door. 

"One more thing…" he said, turning around. "So… if I ever wanted advice on  _ technique….."  _

"Oh Sokka!" You laughed out loud. "If it's  _ that  _ kind of advice you want.. hell, I could write you a library full of scrolls and scrolls on it! with pictures! I've got enough to talk about on technique for  _ days."  _

"Ha! Next time Sira…" he said, as the light of the lantern disappeared behind the closing of the door. 

"Next time." 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your patience and continued support. All the love and appreciation and gratitude from you guys. No more three month breaks for Sira! 
> 
> Much Love <3


	15. Flashback: Parchments, Portraits and Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning to all of you, I cried writing this. Straight up. No shame. You have been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just... *counting grassblades*

Your feet could not carry you fast enough. You sprinted down the halls and dodged around corners. It was late in the night so there weren’t many people in your way, but whenever you encountered someone, you pushed by them without thought and kept your pace. 

Finally, you saw her door. You burst in. 

The first thing you saw was that a couple of the older concubines were standing around Mona’s bed. The second thing you saw was Mona. She was lying under her blankets. Her hair was down. She looked tired, and her breathing seemed labored and pained. She was clutching something in her hand. 

“No…” you let out, crossing the last few steps to stand beside her. Her eyes met yours, and they grew wide with happiness and urgency. 

“What happened!?” You demanded of the older women. 

“She just collapsed Sira…” one of them said, setting her hand on your shoulder. “We brought her here, but her heart is weak….”

“What are you saying??” You shouted. The sting of salt and pain welling in your eyes. 

“I’m saying…” the older woman sighed heavily, sadness echoing in her words. She motioned the other woman toward the door. “I’m saying, Sira, that we will leave you alone to say….goodbye.” 

“No...No!” You shook your head. “Don’t say that to me! She is the strongest woman I know… the strongest woman… she doesn’t deserve this!”

“I know, child.” The woman tried comforting you. “But we all deserve peace after a hard fought life. We all have our time to rest in the end. Savor the time you have left with her.” The woman smiled as best she could, and slowly left the room. 

You turned your eyes to Mona’s again. She was looking at you with love. 

“Mona… I….” You fell to your knees, placing your hand in hers. “I can’t…I can’t do this without you. Please get better… please… Mona please….” you pleaded with her, and the spirits, and anyone who would listen. 

A weak smile crossed her face as she looked at you. Her chest rising and falling heavily with the sound of wheezing and pain. You looked away. You couldn’t see her like this. 

“Mona please… I love you please don’t….please don’t…. I’m not ready… I need you… I’m not ready…” 

You felt her hand in yours lift weakly to your face. Bringing your chin up to look at her. 

She didn’t look afraid. 

Her white hair was a halo around her head. She was in her favorite silks. In one hand she caressed your face, in the other hand she clutched her most prized possession. 

It was an old parchment portrait folded in three ways. Each fold had a crude drawing of a person on it. On one fold was a portrait of Jeong Jeong, then one of your mother, then finally, you. She clutched the old, faded paper portraits to her chest like they were the finest jewels in the four kingdoms. 

“Sir…..” She tried to speak. Her voice coming out in a hushed, hoarse whisper, followed by a cough. 

“Yes? Yes Mona, I’m here. Don’t speak… keep your strength….” You pleaded with her. 

She slowly shook her head, as coughs overtook her again. She moved her hand to the side. You couldn’t quite see what she was doing. 

“What is it?” You asked. Through her coughing she managed to weakly point, and wave her hand to the side again, motioning toward her nightstand. 

You followed her instructions, and opened the drawer. Inside was a letter, tied together with a string, and a large metal key. 

You took up the letter and the key. It was old, very old. On one side was an ornate bird carved into the metal, on the other side, a lotus. 

Mona found the strength to lift her hand and press the letter and key to your chest. 

_ Yours…  _ she managed to sign in the language of silence with her fingers. 

_ Yours.  _

“I understand..” you said weakly. You kept the key and letter clutched to your chest, and took her hand in yours again. “I understand. Mine.” 

Mona nodded. 

“Sira…” She coughed out. 

“Yes, Mona, I’m here….. don’t talk...don’t speak.” You could barely make the words out yourself through your tears. You couldn’t take it. 

“Mona why is this happening...why tonight….why… please don’t go….please… I’ll do anything just please get better….why is this happening…” You sobbed at her side. 

“Az….” she made a sound. 

“What?” 

“Azu...Azul….”

“Azula? What about Azula?” You asked urgently. “Did she do this to you? Is she the reason this is happening?” You asked. Suddenly fear and anger krept into your mind. 

_ Does Azula know about our scheming? Does she know about Leili? Did she do this to Mona… is she after me too, is she after Mr. Chao and Leili… I know Ozai is behind this… he must have done this to Mona….. or made his daughter do it…. to get rid of my closest loved ones… to make me weak.  _

Mona was taken over by another fit of coughs, this one worse than the last two. You sat next to her and tried to calm her fits. A new wave of pain rushed over her, you looked into her eyes as they grew in shock and helplessness. She clutched the portraits tighter, and held your hand with all her might that was left. 

“I love you Mona… I love you so much…. I love you grandma…” you held her tight through your own heartbreak. 

She rested her head against your chest as you ran your fingers lightly through her hair. 

“Think of mom….” You said, trying to say anything to comfort her. “Think of mom...you’ll see her soon… I know she is waiting for you. And you’ll both see me again one day.” 

She tried to sign a word with her hand. 

“Sing?” You asked. “You want me to sing?” 

You just barely felt her nod her head as you held her in your arms. 

“You know I’ve never been any good at singing…but for you…” You sighed deeply, trying to get control over your own voice. “How about a favorite of an old friend?” You asked, knowing it was one of her favorites too. 

“Leaves from the vine… falling so slow….

Like fragile, tiny shells… drifting in the foam….

Little soldier boy…. come marching home…

Brave soldier boy….comes marching home.” 

Soon her coughs subsided into hoarse, heavy breaths. 

Then soon after, her breaths subsided into quiet, shallow sighs. 

Then after that…. the only sound was your shivering voice, ringing in the empty room, only for you to hear. You rocked her back and forth in your arms, still singing, because you couldn’t bear the silence. 

“I love you Mona.” You finally whispered to her. Slowly letting her head rest on the pillow, standing up from the bed. 

You looked at her with sadness. She seemed peaceful. But your heart was full of nothing akin to peace. 

You held the letter and key in your hands as you turned away, Mona’s last spoken word blazing through your soul. 

_ Azula.  _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY. I AM. Look, there are three chapters left to the first part of this series aight. And steamy bits are in the last one. So you have that to look forward to. I promise.


	16. Soot and Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Siege of the North begins!

You stared out over the vast snowy training grounds, watching Katara defeat pupil after pupil until Master Pakku finally gave them mercy. 

You enjoyed watching them train. Once in awhile you would mimic their motions, wondering if you could apply water techniques to fire bending at all, but you couldn’t exactly practice it all that much when you were surrounded by structures that were susceptible to melting. 

It had been a few days since you first arrived, and you still weren’t used to the cold. You wore layer upon layer of water tribe garments, so many that the local children made fun of you as you waddled by. 

Off in the distance you saw Sokka taking Princess Yue out on Appa. 

_ Go get her, Sokka.  _ You smiled to yourself. 

“How are you liking the Northern Water Tribe so far, Sira?” Master Pakku’s voice broke your musings. 

“It is beautiful.” You answered truthfully. “I don’t think I have ever seen anything more beautiful. But I’ll never get used to this  _ damned  _ cold. I don’t know how your people do it. You must have to be born into it.”

“Ha!” Master Pakku laughed. He had gotten way more approachable and personable since he accepted Katara as a pupil. “No, we still feel it, it’s just that we don’t have a choice.” He smiled warmly. 

“I was wondering if… maybe, some of the principals I see you teaching the water tribe students could be applied to fire bending? Like… could learning water bending stances help me at all?” 

“There’s never a downside to learning new styles. It helps open your mind and see things differently, makes you more adaptable. Besides, something tells me you have a natural affinity for bending.”

“Yeah, the one thing I know about my father is he was a great fire bender supposedly.”

“No, child, I meant something tells me you have a natural affinity for these  _ waterbending  _ styles.” He turned to look at your with a knowing stare. 

“What?” You asked in bewilderment. “Do you… know?” 

“Let’s just say we have a lot of mutual friends, and one of them told me to be expecting a special fire bender.” 

“Who? How in the…” You pondered confused. 

“You aren’t the only fire bender deserter I know, Sira.” Pakku smiled. 

“Jeong Jeong? How in the world would you two know each other? And he sent you a message saying I was coming? Why? Oh, to warn you about the Avatar?”

“Among other things.” He said cryptically. “He wanted me to tell you that he has confirmed that a woman named Leili is safe in Ba Sing Se.” 

“Leili!” You shouted louder than you intended. “Ba Sing Se! That’s great! She’s safe? I have to go there… we have to go to the Earth Kingdom anyways to find an Earth Bending master for Aang…”

“Not so fast, it’s best you all stay here for a while. Katara and Aang still have much to learn, and I am expecting something to arrive from the Southern Water Tribe that concerns you.” 

“What?” You sank back into confusion. 

“You were always meant to escape the Fire Nation Sira, but you didn’t do it exactly according to plan…” He went on. “You hastened your escape and went out on your own, and it changed some plans around when you did. Not that it’s a bad thing, it shows great strength and bravery to do what you did.”

“There was a plan?” You asked. Remembering the night you escaped. 

_ It happened in the night….  _

You subconsciously lifted your fingers to caress the old metal key, hanging on a string around your neck. The last token Mona gave you. 

“Oh, there was, and is still a plan. You just changed it around a bit by taking off early. But you need to stay here for a while longer, until the delivery from the Southern Wat-.... what?” You saw Pakku stop mid-sentence and stare at the sky. Heavy black snowflakes began slowly falling from above. 

“Soot….” Pakku affirmed, staring out onto the sea with great concern. 

On the horizon you spotted what looked like a Fire Navy ship creeping closer to the city. 

“Zhou…” You let out… “This isn’t going to be good…” 

**************************************************************************************

The bulk force of the Fire Nation Navy was attacking the Northern Water Tribe, without cause and without warning, all led by Admiral Zhou. 

_ So much for a relaxing time up here…..  _ you thought to yourself. Nothing could ever be fine for more than a few days in a row it seemed. 

_ What did you expect? Joining up with the Avatar. Controversial figure, that one.  _ You could almost hear Mona’s voice in your head. 

“Yeah yeah….” you whispered under your breath, staring at Aang’s body as he meditated into the spirit world. 

“What was that?” Katara asked, standing next to Yue. 

“Nothing, nothing. Listen, you guys should go, check on your brother and father. We are in the most sacred, secret place in the whole city, no one is going to find us here. If anyone did, it would be Zhao, and trust me, he won’t hurt me, unlike you two. I got this under control, go.” 

“Are you sure?” The Princess asked. “I don’t want to leave you alone.” 

“Yes, I am sure. Nothing’s going to happen. I’ll watch Aang while he is in the spirit world, you guys go check on the soldiers.”

“Alright.” Katara agreed, leading Princess Yue out of the oasis. 

It had been a hard day on everyone. 

Once the Fire Navy attack was confirmed, the chief pulled everyone in for a grand council, announcing the formation of elite squads to fight against the Fire Nation. For some reason Sokka was one of the first to sign up. 

_ Dumbass.  _ You thought to yourself.  _ All over trying to impress a girl. You can’t impress anyone if you are dead.  _ You chided him in your mind. You criticized his decision but you hoped he was okay. 

Aang spend the majority of the day single handedly taking down ship after ship, but there were so many. 

All you could do was stare helplessly from the walls of the city, wondering how many men out there, how many officers on those decks you had served before. Men that were attacking you now. Men that were dying now. 

You didn’t like to think about it. 

With the setting of the sun the raid held a ceasefire for the night. That’s when you all ended up here. Aang was trying to traverse the spirit world in search of the Moon and Ocean spirits for help. 

“I hope you find something, kid…” you said to him out loud, not even sure if he could hear you. “I hope you find whatever you are looking for in there.” 

Suddenly, you heard the sound of footsteps from the side. You immediately changed into an offensive stance and zipped around to face your opponent. 

You could not  _ believe  _ your eyes.

“Prince Zuko!” You yelled, a mix of surprise, fear, happiness, and guilt. 

“...Sira?” He asked as recognition crossed his eyes. An expression fell across his face you couldn’t quite place. He looked at you, and looked at Aang, and slowly raised his hands in an offensive stance too. “What are you doing here?” 

“I could ask you the same thing….” You said, watching his every move. 

“I heard you deserted. You are a traitor. I didn’t know you went so far as to join the Avatar though… unless….” He looked puzzled for a moment. “Unless you are here to take him back to my father to gain your pardon.” 

“Not it, I’m afraid. I have left home for good.” You said resolutely. 

“Then you are a traitor. A traitor in my way. The Avatar is mine.” His voice grew darker, and he raised his hands for attack. 

“You don’t have to do this… Zuko, you don’t… your father is evil, look what he did to you!”

“I won’t let you sway me again!” He snapped, flame shooting from his fingers at you in a blaze. “I did once before, and look where that got me? Everything you say is poison. My father was right telling me not to trust you!” 

His anger came out in his bending. With every word came an attack to match. 

His words were like knives against your guilt. You felt responsible for what happened to him. It was messing with your head and your defensive strikes. You tried to fend him off, but he had the advantage. With every step he drew closer to Aang. 

“Zuko, I didn’t do this to you! It was Ozai! You had every right to speak at that war council, I fully believe that… I didn’t know he would… I…” You tried to defend yourself as he relentlessly pressed you. 

“Silence! I’m not going to listen to the words of a deserting whore, who has betrayed me twice!” 

That stung. 

You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes as you tried to defend against the flames. You got distracted and lost your footing time and time again, until you felt yourself backed up against the wall of ice. 

Finally the attacks stopped long enough for you to catch your breath, tears streaming down your cheeks. You looked up to see that you had lost. Between his verbal assaults and fire bending moves, you forgot you were supposed to be guarding Aang. 

Zuko was standing next to the Avatar, with one hand holding fire above Aang’s head, his other hand drawing a rope out of his pack. 

“Tie him up. Now.” Zuko demanded. 

You shook your head. “No… No I won’t.” 

“You will, or I will give him a scar to match mine.” Zuko drew the flame in his hand closer to Aang’s face. “Tie him up.” 

_ Why couldn’t it have been Zhao?  _ You asked yourself, as you drew closer to Aang. You didn’t see a choice. You didn’t think Zuko would hurt you or Aang, but the anger in his voice was scary, and you didn’t want to risk it. He had changed from the boy you knew before. He was taller now, much more rugged. As you got closer you studied his face and his hair, he seemed like a totally different person. 

“I’m sorry Zuko…” You let out, trying to contain your emotions. All you ever wanted since the day he chose you was to be his first mistress, live out your days together in the palace. That was the fantasy of a teenage girl though, and life is much more harsh than that. Life hasn’t been kind to either of you since that day. 

“Just do it.” He said coldly, thrusting the rope at you while still holding the flame dangerously close to Aang. 

“We can’t move him or he won’t be able to find hi-“ you tried to explain. 

“Do it  _ now _ , I won’t tell you again!” He snapped. 

You had no choice. You took the rope, and secured Aang’s wrists and ankles with it. When you were done you looked up at Zuko. 

“Now what, Zuko? You just gonna walk out of the Northern Water Tribe with him over your shoulder?” 

“No,  _ we  _ are.” He said, bringing out a second rope. “Now bind your hands.” 

“What?” You asked, shocked. 

“Tie your hands. You are coming with me.” 

“You can’t be serious…” you said, looking between the rope and him. 

“Did you not hear me,  _ whore?”  _ He said sternly, looking down at you. “I said,  _ you’re coming with me.”  _

  
  



	17. Flashback: Worth the Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sira seeks revenge.

You left her lying on her bed, looking regal, and at peace. 

You walked back to you room with fury in your heart, grief in your soul, and her final gifts to you in your hands. 

You closed the door behind you, and then let your back rest against it, letting the weight of your sadness bring you down to the floor. 

You laid your head in your arms on your knees, sobbing into the fabric of your robes. Robes that she embroidered for you by hand, for no other reason than showing her love. 

You thought you knew what pain felt like. When you were laying naked, helpless, branded, and bleeding on the tiles of Ozai's room, you thought you knew what pain was. You thought you knew the worst of it. 

But you'd go though that night, that trial, all over again if it meant getting Mona back. 

You don't know how long you sat in your grief. Reminiscing about your life with her, wondering what your future would look like without her. One word kept echoing in your mind as you cried. One word. Her last. 

_ Azula.  _

You didn't know how she was involved, but you weren't surprised. It was Azula that told Ozai that you swayed Zuko to speak at the war council. 

It was Azula that taunted you cruelly before Zuko's match, knowing full well what was about to happen. 

It was Azula that you got to see for over a year now, prancing about the palace as the new royal heir to the throne, revelling in her victory over her brother, growing in cruelty just as much as her father. Just like her father. 

And now it's her name that's spoken on the deathbed of the person you cared about most in the world. 

_ Azula.  _

Anger grew in your heart like a wild flame. 

_ She's not going to get away with this. She's not going to get away with any of it.  _ You thought, grabbing a pack from your room. 

You slipped the key onto a string and laid it around your neck. 

You stuffed some food and clothes in the pack, along with the sealed letter that Mona gave you, and swung it on your shoulders. 

_ She's not going to get away with this. I'm not going to let her go after Leili, or Mr. Chao. I'm not going to let her have her perfect life as a replacement to Zuko. She sacrificed him for her own gain.  _

You marched up to your door, your hand hovered over the handle for a moment. 

_ There's no going back after this. Once I do this, I'll have to run. I'll have to leave. But I have to protect my friends and… she...she can't get away with this  _

You opened the door, and quietly crept down the halls. 

_ There's no going back after this.  _

Footstep after footstep carried you through the palace, down the corridors you knew so well, into the hidden passage that led to the royal quarters. You used this passage whenever Ozai summoned you. You knew the royal family's rooms well, after all this time being used as a spy. You didn't even need Mr. Chao to help navigate this part of the palace anymore. 

You made your way through the living area, the the library, the tea room… to the sleeping quarters. 

You turned beyond Ozai's room and crept further down. 

Down past Ursula's old bedroom, and then past where Zuko's, until you got to  _ her  _ door. 

_ Azula.  _

You stopped and took a deep breath. Once again your hand hovered above the handle, but this time, it was shaking. 

_ There is no going back after this.  _ The truth rang in your mind. 

You slowly and quietly turned the handle, opened the door, and snuck into the room. 

It was pitch black and quiet. You took a deep, silent breath. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly. You could make out the shape of the magnificent bed, a couple tables, chairs. 

You crept closer. 

You illuminated a small flame in your hand to see, and turned the light towards the head of the bed. There she was. 

_ Azula.  _

She was sleeping soundly. The light illuminated her dark black hair, loose and clinging to get pillow. You sharp-featured face almost looked peaceful, almost looked beautiful when she was asleep. 

_ But she is evil. Every part of her.  _ You reminded yourself. 

A flinch of movement caught your eye, and you turned the light to the other side of the bed. 

_ Damn!  _ You thought in panic as you saw another girl under the covers. She has fair skin, and long brown hair tied in a playful braid, she was asleep too. 

Somehow it never occurred to you that Azula might have friends, let alone  _ sleepovers.  _

_ Damnit!  _ You shouted again in your mind. Suddenly this plot got a lot more complicated. 

You took a deep breath. 

_ It doesn't matter. Don't think about the other girl, just aim at Azula. Fire everything you have at her, then turn and run. She deserves it.  _

Just as you were about to unleash your flames on the bed, the door opened, startling you. 

A groggy looking girl with sad eyes and long, sleek, black hair stepped in with a glass of water, yawning. 

_ No, no, no!  _ You screamed in your head as she saw you. 

"Azula!" She shouted. "Wake up!" The girl threw the glass of water at you, hitting you in the side. 

"What is it Mae…" Azula said in annoyance before opening her eyes to see you. "What the!" She shouted. 

In a fit of panic you raised your hands and unleashed a torrent of flames at her, throwing everything you had at the bed. 

She managed to bend most of it away, only getting burned on her arm, but the flames caught the bed on fire. The other girl got out of the bed and ran to the other side of the room. 

You were outnumbered three to one, and were caught trying to assassinate the princess. Fear gripped you, and you turned your back on Azula to run for the door. 

You felt hot flame follow you as Azula attacked back, the heat locked your robes and caught your pack ablaze. You dropped it off your shoulders letting it burn, and kept going for the door. 

The girl that was by the door was now in the hallway calling for the guards, and Azula was trailing you from behind. 

You burst through the door and turned down the hallway, throwing flamed behind you too deter her. 

"Guards! Guards! After her!" Azula screamed. 

Your feet carried you as fast as they could. Her stopping to call the guards gave you a head start, and that was all you needed. 

You ducked and ran down hidden hallways, servants passages, and places only Mr. Chao knew about. You were ahead of the guards, but not by much, you needed to get out of the palace. 

Eventually you came to a back door to the grounds, and flew out of it, being greeted by the quiet fresh air of the gardens at night. 

By now the whole palace was awake, and lights and shouts could be seen and heard from the windows. 

You ran through the gardens, into the streets and towards the docks. If you had a chance, any chance at all, it would be the docks. 

By the time you reached the ships, your chest was heaving at the effort. You could hear in the distance the guards searching the streets. 

_ Damnit!!  _

Anger surged through you. Not only did you fail in your mission, but you also lost the letter from Mona. Regret and remorse rushed over your heart. 

_ No time for that now _ … you jolted yourself back to the present. Your eyes scanned the ships one by one. 

_ Fire Navy… Fire Navy… Fire Navy… Damnit! They are all part of the fleet! Except…  _

Your eyes fell upon a flag you didn't recognize.

_ It's the only choice…..  _ your feet carried you to it's dock. 

It was a strange looking ship, but the crew was awake. At least a few of them were playing dice on the deck, drinking and laughing. 

You ran to the gangway and stepped on the ship, running towards the men. 

"Hey, what the fuck do you think you are doing!" One of them drunkenly said, the others dropping their dice and standing up. 

"Take me on this ship!" You pleaded. "Take me with you! Hide me from the guards and take me with you! Please! I have nowhere to go!" 

Now that you were closer, you could get a better look at them. What you saw didn't comfort you. 

_ Pirates..  _ you thought, discouraged. Still more likely to help you than the Navy you supposed… and they were still your only choice. 

The men laughed. 

"For what?" One asked, getting closer. "Why would we do that? What do you have to offer?" He taunted. 

"Offer?" You asked, still trying to catch your breath. 

"Yes, girl. We deal with gold and jewels and trade on this  _ merchant  _ vessel. Nothing ever gets done for free, I'm afraid, and judging by the look of you, you have nothing to offer for our services, and if you said the guards are after you, well, I bet  _ they _ have something to give us in exchange for you." A cruel smile played at his lips. 

You had no choice. You offered the only thing you could think of that you had. 

"I'm a pleasure girl… of the royal palace.." you got out in between heavy breaths. "I please generals, officers, ambassadors… even Ozai  _ himself  _ chooses me for his bed." 

You looked back at the city, the guards were getting closer to the docks. 

"See?" You said, desperately showing them your brand. "This is the mark of the pleasure house, and I'm the best there is. That's why they are after me! I don't want to work there anymore… stuffed in that stupid palace my whole life! So I ran away! To see the world!" You lied, but they seemed to be buying your story. 

"Of course, they don't want to lose their  _ best  _ whore.." you explained. "So they are trying to take me back. Don't let them. If you hide me, if you take me with you, I'll service you… You can see what a real royal concubine is like, trust me, that's an 'offer' most men would pay gold and jewels in spades for. I know, because they have. Don't you want to see how the  _ Fire Lord himself  _ gets entertained?" 

You felt sick peddling your body like this, but your choice was clear, try to seduce these pirates, or likely be executed in the morning. 

The man contemplated. He looked you up and down, undressing you with his eyes. The others have you looks and made sounds that made your stomach turn. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the man nodded towards the cabin of the ship. 

"Get in there. Quick. Hide in the crew quarters below deck." 

He didn't have to tell you twice. You turned to go, before he raised his voice again. 

"And girl…." He shouted after you. "You  _ better _ be worth the trouble. _ " _

With that you stepped into the cabin and ran below decks. You found a spot between two barrels where you could sit and hide. You tried to get your breathing and heartbeat under control. 

You could hear the faint sounds outside the hull of the guards coming up to the ship.

They asked a few questions to the pirates, who told them that they saw you run toward the marketplace, and the guards moved on. 

You heard the captain yell to the crew to set sail now, tonight, before the guards would catch on. Promising them that they'd all get a taste of the entertainment at some point. 

But you didn't care about that now. 

When the ship took off from the dock, you stayed there, nestled between the barrels and the hull, with nothing but the sound of the waves and the motion of the sea to carry you off to sleep. 

You were exhausted, and your ability to keep your eyes open was fading fast. 

_ Well, I'm out Mona.  _ You sent your thoughts to the spirit world.  _ Maybe not in the most graceful way possible… but do I ever do anything the graceful way?  _

You yawned deeply. 

_ There really is no going back now. This is it. It will never be the same.  _ The final words of the night danced through your mind as the ship slowly carried you away from the only life you had ever known, and the sea finally carried you off to sleep. 

  
  



	18. What is Owed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko kidnaps Sira and Aang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the final chapter of Part One of my series Sira: Lady of the Brand. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your incredibly touching and encouraging words of support and comments throughout this fic that I have poured my heart and soul into over the last few months. The story and characters blossomed before my eyes with every chapter, and your love and support for Sira’s journey seriously made my whole life. You are all so inspiring, and I plan to continue her story. What was meant to be a short foray into the world of Avatar fan fiction has turned into a whole saga, thanks to the inspiration of you guys. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (And finally some love for all of you who came here literally just looking for Zuko X Reader, here is finally a reprieve from the long wait.) For more info on what comes next for Sira, read the endnotes, and as always, I hope you enjoy!

_ I can’t feel my feet anymore.  _ You lamented to yourself as you trudged through the snow. 

_ How does he just keep going?  _

You were far beyond the city now, slowly making your way through knee-deep snow in a blizzard towards some unknown destination. You weren’t even sure Zuko knew where he wanted to go, or if he was just aiming for the horizon. 

He was walking in front of you, Aang was slung over his shoulder, and in his other hand he held the rope that bound your hands. Every few steps you would slow down to much, and he would yank it with a “hmph.” 

Neither one of you had said anything in at least a half hour, you were both too busy shivering. 

“Zuko….” you managed to get out in a broken voice through your teeth chattering. “This is insane. We are going to die out here.” 

“You might.” He said coldly. “But I won’t. I’ve made it too far to die now.” 

_ He’s gotten far more broody. I didn’t even know that was possible.  _

“Where are we going?” You asked. 

“None of your concern. Stop talking. You’re my prisoner.” 

He trudged on. 

It was impressive. He was carrying the full weight of the Avatar, and dragging you behind him, and he scaled half the city wall and had walked who knows how many miles at this point. You were exhausted, about ready to give up and fall over, accepting oblivion, and here he was.  _ Still. Trudging.  _

One thing no one could take away from the exiled prince was his pure, unadulterated determination. 

“The sun will set soon, anda blizzard like this...with the dark on top of it? We really  _ would  _ die, Zuko, we’ll freeze to death, and Aang too. You can’t get your honor back if we’re all dead.” 

“You’re on a first name basis with them I see.” He retorted. “We won’t stop until I say we stop, traitor.” 

His words stung. 

You recalled your very first kiss with him, back in the halls of the Fire Nation palace, after playing Pai Sho with General Iroh. It was so sweet. So innocent. You remember telling him to sand up for himself. 

You winced, remembering what that fateful night got him in the end. 

You’d never seen the scar until today. 

“Shelter. There.” He motioned towards what looked like a cave in the distance. He yanked hard on your rope. “Hurry up.” 

You couldn’t feel your feet, your legs felt like they would collapse at any moment, and your wrists were rubbed raw from the rope, but the thought of rest and shelter spurred what was left of your motivation to force your body to move. After what felt like another whole hour of silent, freezing, bone-numbing hiking, you made it to the cave. 

He walked in, and placed the Avatar on the ground. He removed a blindfold from his pack and put it around Aang’s eyes. 

“He can’t see when he is in the Spirit world.” You told him. 

“I don’t care about him seeing when he is in the spirit world. I don’t need him waking up while I am resting, taking in his surroundings, and thinking of a plan to escape.”

“Right. Because he would make it this far in this blizzard.” You huffed, and held out your wrists to him. “Is this really necessary? I can’t go anywhere in this weather either, I’m exhausted, I’ll stay willingly just get these off me.”

“As I said, you are my prisoner. You don’t get to negotiate!” He snapped. “It’s necessary if I say it’s necessary!” 

You glared and turned your head away, walking to the side of the cave and resting your back against it. With the slightest reprieve given to your exhausted muscles, all your weight collapsed, and you slid down to the ground, finally getting to lay down. 

You watched Zuko for a time, first he built a fire, then he paced back and forth, mumbling under his breath and watching both you and Aang. 

When the warmth of the flames finally hit your skin, and the ice seemed to begin to melt away from your core, you couldn’t help but feel your eyelids grow heavy, and darkness overtook you in almost an instant. 

*****************************************************************************************

You don’t know how long you were asleep for. It didn’t feel long, and it wasn’t good sleep. You slowly opened your eyes. 

Aang was lying on the ground near the entrance to the cave. It was dark now. His tattoos were still glowing which told you he was still in the spirit world. 

There was a small fire going near the back of the cave, and Zuko was sitting near it, his back against the stone. The glow of the flames was flickering against his skin. He was looking at you. Watching you with his amber eyes. 

“You’re awake.” He said quietly. 

You noticed your hands were no longer bound, and you had a blanket tossed on you haphazardly. You sat up, looking at your free hands. 

“You aren’t going anywhere in this, and if you tried, I’d stop you.” He said bluntly. “And I could use the rope for other things. It’s wasted on you.” 

You sighed. 

“May I come closer to the fire?” 

He lazily flicked his hand toward the flames in a way that said  _ Fine. But I’m watching you.  _

You walked closer to the fire and held your hands out. The warmth was nice. Even in this cave, the cold of the north penetrated every stone and breath. 

Silence creeped up between the two of you, neither knowing quite what to say. You felt awkward, but you weren’t sure if he did, he seemed used to the silence. 

Though it was he who finally broke it. 

“Why are you here.” He said flatly. It was a question posed as an annoyed statement. 

“I left the palace.” You answered. 

“No, you  _ deserted  _ the palace.” He said in a frustrated tone. “But why are you  _ here?” _

You sighed heavily again and looked at the ceiling of the cave. You studied the texture of the rocks. Letting your eyes sink into it as you always did in uncomfortable situations. 

“It wasn’t easy on me there Zuko.” You answered. “I don’t know what you think my life was like, but I got punished too for what happened.”

He grunted in response. 

“You were a prized whore of the world-famous Fire Nation Palace ‘Lotus Petal Pleasure House,’ you had all the luxuries you could ever want, and were fawned over like some exotic treasure.” He retorted. 

“It may have been a golden prison but it was a  _ prison  _ none-the-less Zuko!” You snapped. “I can’t even bring myself to repeat the things that happened to me there. The things I endured every day. I know you want to go around acting like you are the only one that has ever suffered, but I promise you  _ your royal highness,  _ you’re not the only one who has suffered!” 

He stood up quickly and closed the gap between you, anger flaring in his eyes. “How dare you compare your suffering to mine,  _ whore.”  _ He shouted. “I trusted you. I listened to you, and it got me humiliated, defeated, exiled, hated by my own father! He told me I was no son of his, he said those words to my face after he attacked me, and then exiled me for my cowardice! All because of  _ you,  _ because I let the words of some pampered little  _ bitch  _ get to me.” 

Anger rose in you to match his, something came over you, and you raised your hand sharply and struck him hard across the face. The sound of your hand hitting his skin echoed through the cave. 

_ Oh……...shit…..  _ you thought to yourself as immediate regret flooded your senses. 

He very slowly turned his head back to face you with a searing glare you have never seen on the face of any man before. 

His hands gripped your arms and swung you around forcefully to pin you against the wall of the cave. He drew close to you, leaning in with a low tone.

“You little  _ slut.. _ ” he growled. “You were supposed to be mine. I chose you. I gave you the  _ honor  _ of choosing you. And then I am told you turned me away, you went to go get touched by  _ anybody  _ else other than me, and now here you are, thinking you have the right to  _ strike me _ ? I shouldn’t even let you  _ look  _ at me, you fucking traitor.” He glared down at you, breaths rising and growing heavier. 

“You  _ owe me, whore.”  _ He continued. You tried to push and struggle against him, but with every effort you made, he flexed against you, pinning you harder against the stone. How close he was to you, feeling the heat of his breath on your skin was confusing. You were angry at the words he was saying, but with the glow of the fire on his body….and the way he looked in the light…. he was mesmerizing, even when he was insulting you. 

“Stay still…” He grunted, pinning your wrists to the stone with a grunt. “I said you owe me, but you have nothing to give me. Maybe I should take the only thing you are good for.” He said angrily. 

“Fuck off, Zuko!” You shouted, struggling in vain against his grip. “Let me go!” 

“No. I’m taking what I want from you. I’m  _ taking  _ what I’m  _ owed. _ ” He said, before you felt his lips crash into yours. 

You struggled against him for a few short seconds, but his grip held strong. His kiss was firm and full of heat. He released your lips for a moment only to move to your neck, his tongue tasting you as his teeth grazed your skin in enraged passion. 

“Zuko….” You let out quietly, half-moaning his name. You felt your resolve and anger start melting away and turning into a sensation you had never felt before. 

_ Lust…  _ you thought, as you felt him kiss and draw light bites on your neck. You had never felt it before, not in it’s true sense. You wanted him. You  _ really  _ wanted him this time. It had been so long since you had been touched… 

“Zuko…” You moaned again. Your body lit up to his teasing, you let your head fall back and you stopped struggling against his grip. Your heart was racing, and you felt a pulsing from deep in your core, between your legs, emanating through your whole being. 

“That’s better…” he growled as he kissed you again, this time you returned his passion. He released his grip on yourself wrists and moved his hands down to your waist, firmly pressing them against the wall and leaning his hips into yours. 

You let your hands touch his body, his chest, his arms. You recalled how he carried Aang himself for miles through the snow. You didn’t think of it at the time, but it means he was so…  _ strong…  _ and lean. You let your hands sneak up under his shirt, touching his stomach, and feeling his tight abs with your fingers. He jolted slightly under the unexpected feeling of your cold touch, but his body reacted to you. 

With his hips pressed against yours, you could feel his desire growing. It was a feeling you had felt a thousand times over, a man growing hard at your touch, but this time, it was intoxicating, addicting, to know that  _ he  _ wanted  _ you.  _ You slid your fingers down the front of his body, and traced the outline of his bulging erection with the tips of your nails. His body shuddered in pleasure, and a moan half-escaped his lips. 

“Sira…” he whispered against your neck, before suddenly ripping himself away from you. 

He released from you, taking a couple steps back. He looked you in the eyes intently for a moment before he took off his shirt, throwing it to the side and revealing his perfect body. The flames from the fire glowed against his toned muscles. His arms… his shoulders… his abs...you stared at him in awe and desire. He was….

_ So fucking hot….  _ You thought to yourself as you shamelessly drank up the sight of him. 

“Do you want me, Sira?” He asked in his raspy growl, a smirk playing at his lips. 

His cockiness was infuriating, but you had to admit to yourself that you had  _ never  _ wanted someone like this in your whole life. 

“Answer me.” He demanded. “Do you want this?”

“Yes…” You said quietly, half under your breath. 

“Hmph.” A smug look crossed his face. “Prove it then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> As I said this is the last chapter of part one. 
> 
> But! Who is Sira’s father? What was Mr. Chao’s fatal secret? Where is the Silent Lotus? How does Sira prove to Zuko she wants him? If these are all questions you want the answer to, NEVER FEAR! Sira’s story is not over! 
> 
> Stay tuned in the next few days for Chapter One of Part Two of this series, it will be called “A Secret Sworn in Ink,” and I assure you, within the chapters of part two, the answers to ALL of those questions will be brought to light.
> 
> Thank you again so much for your support, I hope you continue following Sira and the gang straight into “A Secret Sworn in Ink,” I do so love your feedback and support you guys. Best fans ever. <3 
> 
> And of course, I am dying to know what you thought of this grand finale, so leave your comments below! 
> 
> All the love in the world to you all,   
> Love,   
> Heatheness <3

**Author's Note:**

> I am always open to feedback and love love love love comments! Please let me know what you think of the story and if you have any ideas/suggestions! I am still relatively new to fanfic so please let me know what you think!


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